Ratings: 5.96 million viewers

Frank's hats read: "Ninja Expert" and "Joystick Master."

Pete suggests that the show might get pre-empted for a national event and wonders about Gerald Ford's health. Gerald Ford passed away a few weeks after the episode aired. On the season 1 DVD release, the line was changed to Pete asking if it was still hurricane season.

Jenna: (about Dennis) And how is the sex?
Liz: Fast and only on Saturdays. It’s perfect.

(Tracy is shocked to find a magazine article label him as "normal")
Tracy: Did you see this? It’s horrible. They’re printing libel about me again! Libel, Liz Lemon!
Liz: Ugh, "normal." How dare they?
Tracy: That’s what I’m sayin’! That’s character assassination! That’s not normal! It only looks like I’m walking out of a Starbucks, when actually I’m doing the robot going backwards into a Starbucks. And I don’t even know who dog that is. Yes, I steal dogs.

Tracy: I can’t be normal! If I’m normal, I’m boring. If I’m boring, I’m not a movie star. If I’m not a movie star, then I’m poor, and poor people can’t afford to pay back the $75,000 in cash they owe Quincy Jones!

Jenna: What’s too old?
Jack: That’s a very good question. How old are you?
Jenna: I’m twenty-nine.
Jack: What year were you born?
Jenna: 1977.
Jack: When'd you graduate high school?
Jenna: ’94.
Jack: When do you turn 40?
Jenna: 2017.
Jack: Junior high crush?
Jenna: Kirk Cameron.
Jack: Prom theme?
Jenna: "Motown Philly," Boyz II Men.
Jack: What movie did you lose your virginity at?
Jenna: Arachnophobia.
Jack: Theater or drive-in?
Jenna: (pauses) What’s a drive-in?

Jack: Lemon, what tragedy happened in your life that you insist upon punishing yourself with all this...mediocrity?
Liz: What, 'cause I’m eating a turkey sub?
Jack: Your turkey sub, your clothes, the fact that a woman of your resources and position lives like some...boxcar hobo, or maybe it’s the fact that while I’m saying all this, you have a piece of lettuce stuck in your hair.

Jack: You have a million-dollar view, yet you refuse to acknowledge there’s a whole world out there. (peeks through the window's blinds) Oh, my. There appears to be a gentleman making passionate angry love to himself.
Liz: Yeah, I know. That’s why I closed the blinds in the first place.

Jack: (looking at Dennis' plate) I didn’t know they served chicken nuggets at this restaurant.
Liz: It’s cod. It’s, uh, they made it special. Dennis has some dietary restrictions.

Jack: That’s a sharp tie you’ve got there, Dennis.
Dennis: That douche bag up front made me wear it.
Jack: Does he know you’re the Beeper King?
Dennis: I don’t think so.

(Jenna's face is splotchy and taut, and her lips are swollen)
Liz: Ah! What did you do to yourself?
Jenna: Me? Oh. Nothing. Just getting more rest, drinking more water.
Liz: Really? This water, does someone boil it first and throw it in your face?

Jenna: I had a little Botox and some collagen and a chemical peel and something with shark DNA. Admit it. I look ten years younger.
Liz: No, younger even. You look like a fetus.

Liz: I don't want you here selling beepers.
Dennis: Why not? I mean, you work in a business. Businesspeople need beepers.
Liz: No, they need cell phones.
Dennis: Oh, yeah, for now, but the beeper's gonna be making a comeback. Technology's cyclical.
Liz: No, technology is not cyclical.

Dennis: (about leaving the restaurant last night) I think I saw a rat king.
Liz: Aren't rat kings a myth?
Cerie: What's a rat king?
Frank: Oh, it's when a bunch of rats are crammed into a tiny space and their tails get all tangled up and they can't even pull apart.
Dennis: And then it gets awesome. Eventually, their bodies fuse together and they form a multi-headed live rat king and we saw one.
Jack: Gosh, I hope you got a picture of that with the camera on your beeper.
Dennis: Actually, my beeper doesn't have a camera, but it does have a pedometer. Actually, not this one.

Tracy: You can't put makeup on my tattoo, Liz Lemon. It's in my contract.
Liz: No, it's not!
Pete: Actually…He's got a pretty weird contract.

(Jack shows Liz his new beeper)
Liz: OK, very funny. You bought a pager from Dennis. Will you take it off now, please?
Jack: Oh, I can't. I'm expecting a call from 1983.

(Pete is on the phone with Liz)
Pete: (about Josh) Liz Taylor really messed him up! He might have brain damage!
Liz: Oh, my God. Maybe the musical guest can do some extra songs this week. Who is it?
Pete: James Blunt.
Liz: (sneers) Oh.

Jack: (about Dennis) And if you don't break up with him now?
Liz: He'll just keep showing up at work to sell beepers! He'll just keep calling my mother to borrow money. We'll just get more and more tangled up in each other's lives until I just can't even get away and we're just like... Oh, my God.
Jack: That's right. He's the rat king.

(Jack urges Liz to break up with Dennis)
Jack: Remember always you are the exterminator. Say it!
Liz: I am the exterminator.
Jack: Say it like you mean it!
Liz: I am the exterminator!
Jack: Louder!
Liz: (shouts) I am the exterminator!
Jack: OK, not that loud. People are trying to work around here.

Tracy: I need to protect my reputation. You take away my street cred, and I am Wayne Brady.
Liz: Nuh-uh. Wayne Brady has three Emmys. You have a People's Choice Award that you stole from Wayne Brady!

Tracy: I shouldn't expect a white woman from Whiteville to understand street cred.
Liz: Uh, first of all, I'm not from Whiteville. I'm from White Haven. And it's not as nice as it sounds.

Jack: What the hell happened here?
Liz: The cast had a rough week.
Jack: These people cannot be on television. What is your contingency plan for a crap storm of this magnitude?
Liz: There is none.

Tracy: Tattoo's fake, Donaghy. Fake.
(Tracy walks away)
Jack: Street cred. He's a genius.

Liz can be seen wearing a wedding ring in two different scenes.