Ratings: 5.82 million viewers

Cerie: Hey, guess what, everyone. I'm engaged!
(everyone congratulates her)
Frank: Hey, this isn't gonna change the way you dress or eat lollipops, is it?
Cerie: No.
Frank: Oh, then congratulations.

Liz: What's going on? Business got you down?
Jack: Business doesn't get me down. Business gets me off.

Tracy: How would you like it if I did an impression of you, Liz Lemon? (high-pitched voice) Hi, I'm Liz Lemon! I like to wear man-shirts! Watch me skateboard!
Liz: (offended) I don't skateboard.

Liz: I'm not firing Josh.
Tracy: You always take his side.
(cuts to a flashback)
Liz: Tracy, stop Taser-ing him!
(cuts back to present)
Tracy: See? I need to be respected, Liz Lemon.

Liz: So, Cerie, how long have you known this guy that you're marrying?
Cerie: It'll be two months in three weeks.

Liz: (about Cerie's upcoming marriage) It just kinda seems like you're rushing into it a little bit.
Cerie: I guess, but we both wanna have babies while it's still cool. I already have all the names picked out. If it's a girl, Bookcase, or Sandstorm, or maybe Hat. But that's more of a boy's name.
Liz: Yeah, I was gonna say...

Liz: Fifty's not that old, Cerie.
Cerie: Oh, I'm sorry. Are you fifty now?

Kenneth: My mother always told me that even when things seem bad, there's someone else who's having a worse day. Like, being stung by a bee, or getting a splinter, or being chained to a wall in someone's sex dungeon.

Jack: I run companies, plural. But to that woman, I'm always gonna be the punk kid who cried when Pop was run over by a mail truck.
Kenneth: Oh, my. A mailman killed your dad?
Jack: No, Pop was my dog. My dad left when I was two, so I grew up calling my collie "Pop."

Kenneth: My mother is my best friend.
Jack: My mother tried to send me to Vietnam to make a man out of me. (pauses) I was twelve.

(Liz looks through a health manual for a fertility doctor and finds a phone number)
Dr. Spaceman: (answering the phone) This is Dr. Leo Spaceman.
Liz: (confused) Oh, hi. I'm sorry. I got this number under "fertility" in the Writers Guild Health Manual?
Dr. Spaceman: I'm also listed under "meth addiction" and "child psychiatry." So, what can I help you with? I should start by saying that I can't personally help you conceive. Uh, something happened to me while scuba diving.

Liz: (to Josh about Tracy being upset) You better fix this, nerd. Otherwise, Jack Donaghy is gonna kill me, then he's gonna kill you, and then he's gonna fold us up in a pizza and eat us.

Josh: (impersonating Jack on the phone with Tracy) Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to see a doctor. I keep pooping during sex.

Jack: If you insist upon going all Murphy Brown on me, let me give you a tip. Don't smother your child with affection to compensate for not having a man in your life. Don't say "You're the only man I'll ever love." Even babies know that's creepy.
Liz: Of course.
Jack: Don't put little notes in their lunch bag that say "Mommy's watching you." People find those things.
Liz: I bet you behaved yourself, though.
Jack: If your child is a terrific hockey player and a gifted flautist, don't make them play the National Anthem on the flute in front of their teammates.
Liz: Your mother did that?

Liz: Tracy, please do not bother Jack. He is in a weird place right now.
Tracy: BB Jackson's condo?
Liz: No.
Tracy: A children's clothing store in Dubai?
Liz: Stop guessing!

(Liz holds Anna's baby and suddenly realizes she's not in the studio anymore)
Liz: How did I get home? (to the baby) Why didn't you say something?

Pete: (referring to the baby) What's her name?
Liz: Well, Anna calls her Isabel, but I call her Nancy.