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30 Rock: The Rural Juror

Jenna awaits the release of her indie film, The Rural Juror and the writers confess they hate the tongue-twister title. Meanwhile, Tracy, in need of financial help, goes to Jack for advice on creating his own celebrity product.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 1x10
Production Number: 111
Airdate: Thursday January 11th, 2007
Special Airtime: 09:31 pm

Alternate Airdates:

UK (COMEDY CENTRAL) Dec 13, 2007

Special Guest Stars
Whoopi GoldbergWhoopi Goldberg
As Herself

Guest Stars
Chris ParnellChris Parnell
As Dr. Leo Spaceman
Grizz ChapmanGrizz Chapman
As Grizz
Keith PowellKeith Powell
As Toofer
Kevin Brown (2)Kevin Brown (2)
As Dot Com
Lonny RossLonny Ross
As Josh Girard
Maulik PancholyMaulik Pancholy
As Jonathan
Rachel DratchRachel Dratch
As Barbara Walters

Co-Guest Stars
Matt ObergMatt Oberg
As Executive #2
Bob WiltfongBob Wiltfong
As Executive #1
Charlie GrandyCharlie Grandy
As Dinosaur
Eric EnglemanEric Engleman
As Actor #2
Vickie SchmittVickie Schmitt
As Actor #1
Main Cast
Tina FeyTina Fey
As Liz Lemon
Tracy MorganTracy Morgan
As Tracy Jordan
Jane KrakowskiJane Krakowski
As Jenna Maroney
Jack McBrayerJack McBrayer
As Kenneth Parcell
Scott AdsitScott Adsit
As Pete Hornberger
Judah FriedlanderJudah Friedlander
As Frank Rossitano
Alec BaldwinAlec Baldwin
As Jack Donaghy
Episode Notes
Ratings: 6.10 million viewers

Episode Quotes
Tracy: I need sixty-thousand dollars, or I'm gonna lose my house.
Jack: Which house?
Tracy: (pauses to think) I need a hundred-thousand dollars, or I'm gonna lose both my houses.

Jack: Tracy, I don't understand. You've starred in fourteen films. You don't have any money saved?
Tracy: No, I lost all of it.
Jack: Really? Who's your money manager?
Tracy: Grizz.
Grizz: WorldCom, man. WorldCom.

Jack: You must know Arsenio.
Tracy: Hall or Billingham?
Jack: You know someone named Arsenio Billingham?
Tracy: No.

Jenna: Hey, I gotta miss an hour of rehearsal today 'cause I just found out from my publicist I've been booked on The View.
Pete: Oh, Jenna, that's great. For the first time in your life, you'll be in a room full of women and you'll be the least crazy one.
Jenna: (excited) Ah, I know.

(Pete and Liz discuss possible titles of Jenna's movie)
Liz: Could it be Roar Her, Gem Her?
Pete: No, that doesn't make any sense. It's gotta be Oral Germ Whore.

Jenna: (about her film) The source material was amazing. It's hard to go wrong with a Kevin Grisham novel.
Liz: You mean John Grisham.
Jenna: Oh, no, Kevin, John's brother. Did you know that before Kevin was a novelist he worked at a recycling center?
Liz: Wow!
Jenna: Yeah, and he just finished writing the sequel. It's called Urban Fervor.

Tracy: I need to come up with a big idea for a product to put my name on, something no one has thought of, something crazy!
Kenneth: I know a gentleman who had a lot of crazy ideas. He was a carpenter. He wanted everyone to love one another.
Tracy: Oh, you mean Jesus?
Kenneth: No, Miguel, from set design. He's over there. (smiles and waves to Miguel)

Tracy: I'm gonna make you a mix tape. You like Phil Collins?
Jack: I've got two ears and a heart don't I?

Dr. Spaceman: Jack! Tracy! What can I do for you?
Jack: Leo, we have a product we want you to give a medical endorsement to.
Dr. Spaceman: I'll do it! What is it?
Jack: It's called the Tracy Jordan Meat Machine. It's a dual-press grill.
Dr. Spaceman: Say no more. If it's giving people meat, then I'm on board. I've always said humans need more animal blood. It keeps the spine straight.

Dr. Spaceman: You boys need anything while you're here? (pointing to some pill bottles) Some reds? Yellows? Just got some purples in from Peru.
Tracy: No, I'm good.
Jack: Well, it would be rude not to take, or two. (holds out both his hands)

Josh: I also looked on Liz's computer. Her last two Google searches were for "singles yoga" and "scalp pain."
Frank: That is grim.

Toofer: The Rural Juror?
Josh: Man, that's disappointing. I had to let Tony watch me pee to get that tape.

(Tracy does an infomercial for his Meat Machine)
Tracy: Dr. "Space Man," is it true that bread eats away at your brain?
Dr. Spaceman: We have no way of knowing, because the powerful bread lobby keeps stopping my research.
(audience gasps)
Tracy: Well, folks, bread will never maybe attack your brain again, because with the Tracy Jordan Meat Machine - say it with me, now - meat is the new bread!

Jenna: (referring to the Paris Hilton sketch) So, do I have to wear the nose tonight?
Liz: Yes, you do.
Jenna: OK, well then I hope you get bird flu and die.

Jenna: Well, let me tell you something. This "slut" slept with your brother.
Liz: (gasps) Mitch?
Jenna: Yeah, and let me tell you something about Mitch. He is disgusting in bed.
Liz: You know he's not right. He was in a really bad skiing accident!

Liz: (about being famous) It was my dream, too, Jenna.
Jenna: Yeah, but you couldn't have been serious about acting for a living. You have brown hair.

Barbara Walters: (to Jenna on The View) Let's get personal. Your father, Werner, was a burger server in suburban Santa Barbara.
Jenna: Yes, that's right.
Barbara: When he spurned your mother Verna for a curly-haired surfer named Roberta, did that hurt her?
Jenna: It was hard on all of us, yes.
Barbara: Mm, flerg merg. Glerg flerg merg merg merg tennis merg merg, was a merg merg...flerg?
Jenna: I'll always be his little girl. (cries)
Barbara: (comforting Jenna) Glerg. Glerg...

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