(Jack proudly presents his wine to Liz)
Jack: This ought to prove my mother wrong, saying that Donaghy is Gaelic for failure. What the hell does she know? She's a Murphy. Bunch of mud farmers and sheep rapists.
Jack: Steven's a good man. He's on partner track at Dewey, and he's a Black.
Liz: A black? That is offensive.
Jack: No, no. That's his last name–Steven Black. Good family.
Liz: Oh, yeah, of course.
Jack: Remarkable people, the Blacks. Musical, very athletic, not very good swimmers. Again I'm talking about the family. Black is African-American though.
(Liz insists to Jack that she does not look at others in terms of race)
Liz: When I leave work at night, I am just riding on a subway car full of scary teenage people.
(Kenneth denies Ridikolus entry to Tracy's party)
Ridikolus: We're with Tracy Jordan.
Kenneth: And Mr. Jordan himself said, "Don't let no one in who's not on the list 'cause this mess is gonna get raw, like sushi. So, haters to the left."
Ridikolus: What's your game?
Tracy: (to Jack about his wine) If you get rich off of this stuff, just take care of my family. I don't want my kids to have to go to college.
Liz: So, how about Lost this season?
Steven: (laughs) Sorry, I don't own a TV.
Liz: Really? What do you...sit and look at?
Steven: I have hobbies. I participate in Vietnam War reenactments, and I take pictures of interesting doors. (laughs) And, uh, I spend a lot of free time blogging about Star Wars.
Liz: Oh, really, you like Star Wars?
Steven: I love it.
Liz: I was Princess Leia, like, four Halloweens in a row. Recently.
Steven: No, no, no, no, no, not the fantasy movie with the, uh, monsters. I'm talking about the Strategic Defense Initiative.
Jack: (to Ridikolus) Now, as you may have read in Robert Parker's wine newsletter, "Donaghy Estates tastes like the urine of Satan after a hefty portion of asparagus."
Jenna: (referring to Steven) Who cares if he thinks you're a racist?
Liz: I do, because I'm not.
(a page knocks on the door with something for Liz)
Liz: Ah, thank you, (reading her name tag) "Ah-mahn-da."
(Jack wants Tracy to host the Source Awards)
Tracy: Who else is gonna be at this thing?
Jack: Well, you're gonna be sharing the stage with Nas...
Tracy: Nope, he hates me! We used to date the same girl.
Jack: What about Young Jeezy?
Tracy: Forget about it. I called his pit bull a gaywad on 106 and Park.
Liz: That would do it.
Jack: The Game.
Tracy: Ain't nothin' happenin'.
Tracy: No can do.
Tracy: Won't do.
Jack: MC Scat Cat.
Jack: Raw Dog.
Tracy: Hell no! Me and his beef go way back. We were both cast members on a Nickelodeon show called Ray-Ray's Mystery Garage.
Tracy: (about hosting the source awards) If I don't go, Ridikolus is gonna kill me. If I do go, someone else is gonna kill me. See? It's a Catch-22. Aw, he's gonna be there, too.
Ridikolus: What color plane you wanna buy?
Jack: Clear...like Wonder Woman's.
Tracy: Ken, I'll be gone soon, but I just wanted you to know that I loved being your mentor, and it's been an honor having you be my manatee.
Tracy: I'm just going through the classic stages of grief–fear, denial, horniness, wisdom, sleepiness, and now depression.
Kenneth: What about anger?
Tracy: No! I don't wanna do anger and you can't make me!
Kenneth: Aren't you the man who told me to live every week like it's Shark Week? And that nothing's impossible except for dinosaurs? Don't give up on life, sir.
Tracy: Wow... The manatee has become the Mento.
Liz: I truly don't like you as a person. Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?
Steven: Liz, I wish it could be like that...and–and maybe someday our children or–or our children's children will hate each other like that, but it just doesn't work that way today.
Liz: (exasperated sigh) So what you're saying is any woman that doesn't like you is racist.
Steven: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Some women are gay.
(Liz wants Steven to come to the Source Awards with her)
Steven: Will there be a gift bag?
Steven: OK. Well, you can have everything in it. (Liz stares at him) Because I collect tote bags.
Tracy: (to Liz) I'm gonna find a homeless man, dress him up like me, set him on fire. Then I'm gonna start a brand new life in Arizona under the new name Ron Mexico.
Dot Com: (to Grizz) We're not doing that.
Liz: (to Jack) What is it with men and guns?
Tracy: Well, I think I speak for the both of us when I say, 'cause they're metal penises.
Liz: (to Tracy) Yeah, well you can't solve all your problems by shooting someone or setting a stranger on fire.
Ridikolus: (to Kenneth) Back away.
Jack: (to Ridikolus) Oh, he's harmless. Don't be ridiculous.
Ridikolus: I am Ridikolus.
Ridikolus: And you better be glad that Jack Donaghy has your back.
Kenneth: Well, I (reaches out) got your nose! (runs out of the room)
Ridikolus: Jay, go get my nose back.
(Kenneth accidentally bumps into Ridikolus)
Ridikolus: Aw, man, you did not just scuff these shoes. P. Diddy wears these.
Kenneth: Oh, will he be mad when you give them back?
Ridikolus: Son, to have you, your moms must be so stupid she thinks Grape Nuts is an STD.
Kenneth: Well, sir, your mother must not have raised you right, 'cause you're not saying very nice things.
(after all the bad things that happened, Ridikolus accuses Jack of making a mockery of the Source Awards)
Ridikolus: Wait till I tell Tupac about this. (pauses) Uh...uh...
Jack: I didn't hear anything.