Ratings: 5.07 million viewers

Frank: I hate when you're in a good mood. It makes me feel unsafe, like when my mom used to make daiquiris and sing Tanya Tucker songs.
Liz: (laughing) That sounds awesome.

Kenneth: Mr. Donaghy would like to see you. He's across the street at Christie's auction house.
Liz: Oh, brother.
Frank: What's this?
Liz: Jack goes to Sbarro when he's angry, the New York Stock Exchange when he's horny, and Christie's auction house when he's depressed.

(Jack stares at a painting, his back to Liz as she enters the room)
Jack: You've been avoiding me, Lemon.
Liz: How do you do that without turning around?
Jack: To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you, but...here we are.

Jack: I wish I were a horse—strong, free, my chestnut haunches glistening in the sun.
Liz: Are you OK?

Jack: (about his failed television special) You left me dangling, Lemon. I'm not not a creative type like you, with your work sneakers and your left-handedness.

Liz: I guess I got caught up with this new guy.
Jack: Oh, right, Flower Guy.
Liz: His name is Floyd.
Jack: That's unfortunate.

Floyd: And on a personal note, sir, in my mind, the Foo Fighters song "Best of You" is about your managerial skills.
Jack: Lemon, I wanna kiss your boyfriend on the mouth.

(Liz walks into her office and finds Tracy feeding a horse)
Tracy: Hey, Liz Lemon. Could you go away for a while? I gotta get rid of Freddy's erection.

Liz: I'm Liz. (holds out her hand)
Phoebe: Oh, sorry. I don't shake hands. I have avian bone syndrome.
Liz: Oh, boy, OK.

Jack: He's a good man, the Floydster.
Liz: Aw, "the Floydster"? Don't give him a nickname before I do.

(Tracy is in character as Thomas Jefferson)
Frank: That horse ate your wig.
Tracy: Well, stand guard by his rump and await it in his droppings!
Lutz: Or we could probably just go get a new wig.
Tracy: Aha! I like you young man. You shall run my university.

(Liz walks out in her flannel pajamas)
Floyd: Wow. You are bringing it.
Liz: (laughs) Yeah, you like that? It's got pockets. Are you into that? Ooh, what's this? A used Kleenex, mm.
Floyd: I feel like I'm in a rap video.
Liz: Wait, let me turn on my humidifier. (bends over) Yeah...

Liz: (typing a text message on Floyd's phone) "Jack, I have taken a sleeping pill—"
Floyd: Mm-hm.
Liz: "—because I have a big lawyer meeting—"
Floyd: That's what we call 'em.
Liz: "—in the morning. Floyd."
(the phone beeps)
Liz: (reading) "Lemon, is that you?"
Floyd: I always sign it "Floydster."

Liz: The call is coming from inside the house!

(Don Geiss watches Tracy's Jefferson trailer; Tracy plays both Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemmings)
Narrator: He was a writer.
Jefferson: (writing the Declaration of Independence) Eat that, King George!
Narrator: Inventor.
Jefferson: (picks up a cup from a rotating tray) I shall call it Susan!
Narrator: Jungle fever-haver.
Sally: I'm with child!
Jefferson: What?
Sally: Will you free me and make me your wife?
Jefferson: Um, I'm gonna have to get back to you on that.

Liz: Don't you kinda feel like a third wheel, Jack?
Jack: (laughing) Oh, no, Lemon. You're the third wheel.
Liz: Excuse me?
Jack: Well, it's really quite simple. Men seek out the company of other men they admire and wanna be like. Floyd is me twenty years ago; I'm Don Geiss thirty years ago. Twenty years from now Floyd will be me, I'm gonna be Don Geiss, and Don Geiss will be dead.
Liz: Who thinks like that?
Jack: Men do. That's why you're the third wheel.

Liz: You can't use Floyd to feel better about yourself. It's not fair.
Jack: All right. How about some kind of a time-share arrangement. You can have him Monday, Wednesday, and Friday—
Liz: I don't want Friday. We have a show.

(Kenneth, Dot Com, and Grizz wait to hear if Don Geiss will back Tracy's film)
Tracy: He said no.
(everyone sighs)
Tracy: Then he offered me seven million dollars to reprise my role as Coco the dog.
Dot Com: (singsong) I'm gonna get an iPhone. Everybody's gonna be jealous.
Tracy: No! I turned him down.
Grizz: This is like a roller coaster ride of emotion in here.

Tracy: (about making his own movie) Now, who's with me?
Kenneth: We all are, sir!
Tracy: Good, good, good. Now, first order of business, get that dead horse out of my car.