Liz: (to Floyd about an apartment) By the hammer of Thor! Can you afford this place?
|
Phoebe: I'm Phoebe, we've met before. Jack proposed to me outside your office? I have hollow bones like a bird?
Liz: Yes, no, I remember you. Hi.
|
Jack: (giving Liz his credit card) Here, take my gold card.
Liz: Ooh, it’s heavy.
Jack: It’s...made of gold.
|
Tracy: I need a loan to finance my Thomas Jefferson movie. It's gonna be at least thirty million dollars with all the Claymation sex scenes in it.
|
Tracy: I'm gonna have so much money, my grandkids are gonna play lacrosse. Lacrosse, Liz Lemon.
|
(Jack talks to Floyd about the other guy going after the promotion)
Jack: Plus, his name is Alan Garkel. (laughing) You're never gonna lose a job to a guy named Garkel.
(a black man in a wheelchair comes out of the elevator)
Alan: Did someone say my name?
Jack: (to Floyd, hushed) No, you're not gonna beat that. (to Alan) Well played, Garkel.
|
Jenna: I'd marry Jack in a heartbeat. I would have a three-way with two Jacks!
|
Jenna: Wow, how Sex and the City are we right now? I'm Samantha, (to Phoebe) you're Charlotte, (to Liz) and you're the lady at home who watches it.
|
(Liz tries to convince Floyd how wonderful New York is)
Liz: Come on, this is the capital of the world. The culture, the diver—
(a man walking by spits at her; Liz yells in disgust)
Floyd: Are you all right?
Liz: He spit in my mouth! Ugh! Let's go to Cleveland.
|
Tracy: The Black Crusaders are a secret group of powerful black Americans. Bill Cosby and Oprah Winfrey are the chief majors, but Jesse Jackson, Colin Powell, and Gordon from Sesame Street? They're members, too, and they meet four times a year in the skull of the Statue of Liberty. You can read about that on the Interweb.
Liz: Ah, well, it must be true if it's on the "Interweb."
|
Jack: Who taught Tracy about anagrams?
(Dot Com quickly points to Grizz)
|
(Liz and Floyd walk around Cleveland)
Woman: Excuse me, are you a model?
Liz: (laughs) Uh, no.
Woman: Oh, you are so skinny! You really should eat something.
|
Liz: Kenneth, have you tried to call Tracy?
Kenneth: Yes, ma'am. I tried all six of his cell phones. (eerily) It's almost as if he never existed. (normal voice) Or maybe he's not answering.
|
Liz: In Cleveland, I'm a model.
Jenna: Yeah, we're all model's west of the Allegheny.
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Phoebe: You know how John Lennon was better than the rest of the Beatles but didn't realize it until he met Yoko Ono? Well, I'm Jack's Yoko.
Liz: You want to be Yoko?
|
(Jack and Liz talk to Tracy on the phone)
Jack: For God's sake Tracy, where are you?
Tracy: Starting a new life.
Liz: Because of the Black Crusaders? That's crazy. Tray?
Jack: Dammit, Lemon, why didn't you tell me the Black Crusaders were after Tracy? (he sprints toward the exit)
Liz: (to Kenneth) Surprisingly fast.
|
Floyd: (to Liz) If the whole world moved to their favorite vacation spots, then the whole world would live in Hawaii and Italy and Cleveland.
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Liz: Don't mention Floyd. Floyd is not happening. Floyd is moving.
Jack: Floyd is moving? (she nods) What did you do?
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