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Season 1 |
| 1 :01x01 - Brains and Eggs (Jan/09/1996) | | The Solomons land on Earth taking human form. Dick discovers feelings. Tommy discovers girls and complains of side of effects from puberty. Sally explores the power of her body. Harry has a phallic attachment to a flashlight. Dr. Albright is both frustrated and intrigued by Dick, her new officemate. | | Guest Stars: Susan Leslie as Kissing Woman, Marnette Patterson as Volleyball Girl, Dan Gilvezan as Radio DJ, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Jennifer Rhodes as Mrs. Sumner, Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Simbi Khali as Nina | Director: James Burrows (1)
Writer: Bonnie Turner, Terry Turner | | Songs: James Taylor -- Secret O' Life | | | |
| 2 :01x02 - Post Nasal Dick (Jan/16/1996) | | Dick invites himself to a wedding with Dr. Albright. Unbeknownst to him, he has the flu and gets intoxicated on cough medicine, creating chaos. Tommy, Sally and Harry experience symptoms of the flu. Thinking they are going to die, they bond. | | Guest Stars: Wayne Thomas Yorke (1) as Best Man, Pat Lach as Mother, Marijane Cole as Sshh Lady, Martha Stewart (1) as Herself, Marla Sokoloff as Dina, Simbi Khali as Nina | Director: Robert Berlinger
Writer: Andrew Orenstein, Michael Glouberman | | | |
| 3 :01x03 - Dick's First Birthday (Jan/23/1996) | | Through Nina's request for Dick's birthday date, Dick learns there is a stigma to being old. He attempts to counteract his age by wearing leather pants and dying his hair black. Harry tries to fix his low self-esteem through a self-help tape. Tommy gets a sex-ed talk from the coach. Sally discovers that she is the perfect age. | | Guest Stars: Dee Freeman as Waitress, Benjamin King as Man in Bar, Robert Lynch as Doug, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Michael Milhoan as Coach, Lauren Graham as Laurie, Simbi Khali as Nina | Director: Robert Berlinger
Writer: Andy Cowan | | | | | | |
| 5 :01x05 - Dick, Smoker (Feb/06/1996) | | Pitman teaches Dick to smoke. Dick, wanting a drag, gets stuck in a hallway for a couple days. Sally assumes command and realized that she is not ready for it. Tommy does an experiment reanimating a frog, with Jack, his lab partner. | | Guest Stars: David Dunard as Mechanic, Eddie Allen (1) as Dr. Bankson, Dee Freeman as Waitress, Ian Lithgow as Leon, Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Jane Lynch as Ms. Koppel, Laurel Green (1) as Moviegoer, Simbi Khali as Nina | Director: Robert Berlinger
Writer: Bill Martin (1), Mike Schiff | | | |
| 6 :01x06 - Green-Eyed Dick (Feb/13/1996) | | Dick experiences jealousy and competition when an old boyfriend of Albright's shows up. Harry befriends a dog and becomes upset when having to find him a home. Dick assigns Sally the task of researching how to establish an "intimate relationship" with a woman. | | Guest Stars: Eric Saiet as Pleasant Man, Richard Gilbert-Hill (2) as Jeff's Brother, Darlene Kardon as Old Woman, Katherine La Nasa as Kate, Lindsey Haun as Lisa, Katie Layman (1) as Muriel, Nancy LeSuk as Female Necker, Mark Bedard as Naked Guy, Steve Yiali as Male Necker, Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, Ed Begley, Jr. (1) as Jeff, Simbi Khali as Nina | Director: Robert Berlinger
Writer: Joe Fisch | | | | | | |
| 8 :01x08 - Body & Soul & Dick (Feb/27/1996) | | The Solomons deal with death when a professor dies and asks Dick, in his will, to arrange his eulogy. Tommy finds himself torn between Cheryl, the cheerleader and August. | | Guest Stars: Bruce Morrow as Father Rice, Jennifer Rhodes as Mrs. Sumner, Anna Slotky as Cheryl, William Bogert as Dean Sumner, Harry S. Murphy (1) as Professor, Steven Barnett (2) as Cable Man, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Shay Astar as August, John Mahoney (1) as Dr. Henlin, Simbi Khali as Nina | Director: Robert Berlinger
Writer: Bonnie Turner, Terry Turner | | | |
| 9 :01x09 - Ab-Dick-ted (Mar/04/1996) | | Albright's brother, Roy, comes to visit. He tells the Solomons he was abducted by aliens. Sally, being the defense specialist, attempts to kill Roy in a cornfield until he confesses that he made it all up. Harry works on getting a promotion by doing odd job s around the house. August threatens to break up with Tommy. | | Guest Stars: Shay Astar as August, Bronson Pinchot as Roy Albright, Simbi Khali as Nina | Director: Robert Berlinger
Writer: Bob Kustel, Christine Zander | | | |
| 10 :01x10 - Truth or Dick (Mar/12/1996) | | Dick learns the hard way the difference between a good and bad lie. Sally and Harry go through the ridiculous process of getting drivers' licenses. Tommy, depressed by being "pimple boy,", finds his calling hanging out in a mall. | | Guest Stars: Andrew Hill Newman as DMV Agent, Dee Freeman as DMV Clerk, Mailon Rivera as Campus Cop, Kristin Morley as Waitress, Ian Lithgow as Leon, Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Richard Roat as Dr. Byron, Simbi Khali as Nina | Director: Robert Berlinger
Writer: Bonnie Turner, Terry Turner | | | | | | |
| 12 :01x12 - Frozen Dick (Mar/26/1996) | | Dick discovers his fear of flying when he and Albright get on a plane to Chicago for Albright's Leaky award. Resolved to driving, Dick spins the car out into a snow bank. They find shelter at truck stop where Dick cheers up Albright by singing "Oklahoma." Harry gets a job at a video store. Tommy does a book report on the magician David Copperfield. Sally offers Leon shelter from the snow, almost having sex with him. | | Guest Stars: Carolyn Pemberton as Customer #2, Robert Knott (2) as Ellis, Teresa Tudury as Connie, Rex Linn as Chuck, Tami Tappan Damiano as Barbara, Patrick Thomas as Customer #1, Skye McKenzie as Last Customer, Gigi Bermingham as Singing Trucker, Martin Hilton as Singing Trucker, Linda Dangcil as Singing Trucker, Ian Lithgow as Leon, John Raitt as Trucker, Karl Hamann as Singing Trucker, Simbi Khali as Nina | Director: Robert Berlinger
Writer: Linwood Boomer | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| 19 :01x19 - Selfish Dick (May/14/1996) | | Albright gets a better office. Dick selfishly tries to sabotage her good fortune so he has to come back to share his office. Sally cuts herself and ends up in the hospital. She, Tommy and Harry pose as doctors, learning the power of healing and the miracle of birth. | | Guest Stars: Tom Simmons as Peter, Bruce Morrow as Father Rice, Lily Knight as Nurse Turner, Tom Jourden (1) as Doctor, Jan Clarke as Nurse Woods, Steven Porter as Roger, Harry Morgan as Professor Suter, Richard McGonagle as Head Doctor, Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, D. Elliot Woods as Doctor Ladyport, Simbi Khali as Nina | Director: Robert Berlinger
Writer: David Sacks | | | | | | |
Season 2 | | | | | | |
| 23 :02x03 - Hotel Dick (Sep/29/1996) | | Dick feels he is deceiving the woman he loves by not being truthful with her about being an alien. He decides to confide to Dr. Albright his true form at a sci-fi convention. When Albright acts out an alien fantasy, Dick seizes the moment and tells her everything - she thinking he's just playing along. The rest of the Solomons discover the many services provided by the hotel they are staying at. | | Guest Stars: Tim Bagley as Frank, Larry Sousa as Valet, Tim Pulice as Guy in Line, David Goetsch as Leaflet Guy, George Takei as Himself, Simbi Khali as Nina | Director: Robert Berlinger
Writer: Bob Kushell | | | | | | |
| 25 :02x05 - Much Ado About Dick (Oct/13/1996) | | When Albright is afraid to be seen with Dick in public as a couple, the Solomons discover the human obsession with what other people think. In the end, Dick and Albright come out with their relationship at a faculty party. Sparks once again fly when Sally runs into Officer Don. Sally decides she is going to be a cop, but Dick forbids it. Tommy is frustrated by not having transportation. | | Guest Stars: Bruce Morrow as Father Rice, Harry Morgan as Professor Suter, Steven M. Gagnon as Cop, Wayne Knight as Officer Don, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Jennifer Rhodes as Mrs. Sumner, Simbi Khali as Nina | Director: Robert Berlinger
Writer: Michael Glouberman, Andrew Orenstein | | | |
| 26 :02x06 - Dick the Vote (Oct/27/1996) | | When Harry runs for city councilman, Dick discovers the complexity of the democratic system and struggles to make the right vote. Sally meets up with Officer Don. | | Guest Stars: Michael Adler as Handler, Angela Robinson (1) as Voter #2, Wendy Schenker as Reporter, Dan Gilvezan as News Anchor, Christine Zander as Voter #1, Al Franken as Frank Gansmiller, John Aylward as Registrar, John Henry Kurtz as Commercial Voice, Simbi Khali as Nina, Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, Wayne Knight as Officer Don, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Thomas Barkowski as Protestor | Director: Robert Berlinger
Writer: David Goetsch, Jason Venokur | | | |
| 27 :02x07 - Fourth and Dick (Nov/03/1996) | | During Pendleton's Homecoming weekend, Dick learns firsthand the importance people place in competition. Tommy has a crush on his Glee Club teacher. Sally makes Nina her best friend. Harry gets a job as a security officer. | | Guest Stars: Jennifer Rhodes as Mrs. Sumner, Brenda Strong as Mrs. Frost, Matthew M. Mahaney as Fan #1, Brian Matthew Carr (1) as Fan #2, James Grace as Fan #3, Tatum Shank as Football Player, Clifford R. Bernay (2) as Assistant Coach, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Mike Ditka as Himself, Simbi Khali as Nina | Director: Robert Berlinger
Writer: Michael Glouberman, Andrew Orenstein | | | |
| 28 :02x08 - World's Greatest Dick (Nov/10/1996) | | Fueling his own ego, Dick forces Tommy into a special school for gifted students. Sally is mistaken for a drag queen. Harry dabbles in magic. | | Guest Stars: J. Patrick McCormack (1) as Victor's Dad, John Patrick White as Victor, Paxton Whitehead as Dr. Menard, Kimberlee Kramer as Brianna, Burke Moses as Glenn, Danny Strong as Aramis, Trevor Bullock as Porthos, Craig Olsen as Drag Queen, Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, Laraine Newman as Candace, Simbi Khali as Nina | Director: Robert Berlinger
Writer: David Goetsch, Jason Venokur | | Songs: Gloria Gaynor -- I Will Survive | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| 32 :02x12 - Jolly Old St. Dick (Dec/15/1996) | | The Solomons experience their first Christmas. Dick is disillusioned but finally gets the Christmas spirit. Sally gets a job wrapping presents at the mall. Harry takes a job as a mall Santa's assistant and discovers that he isn't the real Santa. Tommy tries to find the perfect present for August. Albright gets drunk on rum balls. | | Guest Stars: Edward Evanko (1) as Homeowner, Peggy Mannix as Charity Woman, Michael McCarty as Santa Claus, Ken Polk as Santa #2, Jack Lindine as Santa #3, Jason Horst as Jason, George Hertzberg as David, Martin Braverman as Izzy, Amy Arnelle as Marie, Shay Astar as August, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Nikki Tyler-Flynn as Christine, Simbi Khali as Nina | Director: Robert Berlinger
Writer: Mike Schiff, Bill Martin (1) | | | | | | |
| 34 :02x14 - Romeo & Juliet & Dick (Jan/12/1997) | | Tommy asks Dick to direct his high school play "Romeo and Juliet" and Dick takes the role a little too seriously. Tommy works as the prop guy and when Mrs. Dubcek drinks Juliet's sleeping potion, Harry impersonates her and entertains her friends. Sally tries to get Officer Don to fix Albright's parking tickets and learns that he can't really do it. | | Guest Stars: Mary-Pat Green (1) as Diane, Bart McCarthy as Hamlet VO, Richard Fancy as Judege DeBelko, Anna Slotky as Cheryl, Robert Lyon Rasner as Timothy, Richard Karron as Jimmy, Josh Ekblom as Benvolio, Wayne Knight as Officer Don, Shay Astar as August, Mike Ditka as Coach Mafferty, Simbi Khali as Nina | Director: Robert Berlinger
Writer: Kenny Turner, Bonnie Turner | | | | | | |
| 36 :02x16 - Dick on One Knee (Feb/16/1997) | | A Frenchman asks Sally to marry him, so he can stay in the country. Sally plans her wedding and assigns duties to the family. Tommy discovers he has a talent for flower arranging and styling. Dick is inspired to discuss marriage with Albright. | | Guest Stars: Raye Birk (1) as Jeweler, David Kirkwood as Yellin' Joe Slocum, Lisa Simms as Gabby, Lewis Saunders as INS Man, Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, Shay Astar as August, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Jim Pirri as Michel, Simbi Khali as Nina | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Christine Zander | | | |
| 37 :02x17 - Same Old Song and Dick (Mar/09/1997) | | When Dick attempts to get the magic back in his relationship, he learns it was never missing - their rut is really comfort. Sally and Harry switch jops. Sally discovers Harry's job is more difficult that it appears, while Harry finds himself enjoying the housework and having a purpose. Tommy finds, to his delight, that August is not perfect. | | Guest Stars: P. B. Hutton (1) as Teacher, Marcy Goldman as Woman, Shay Astar as August, Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Frank Kopyc as Charlie | Director: Robert Berlinger
Writer: Katy Ballard | | | | | | |
| 39 :02x19 - Dick Behaving Badly (Mar/23/1997) | | When the family accuses Dick of being "whipped" by Albright, Harry helps him become his own man. Sally and Tommy have a showdown with the game Monopoly. | | Guest Stars: India Dupre as Christina, Tim Truby as Dr. Talbert, Darlene Levin as Darlene, Maureen Sue Levin (1) as Maureen, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, J. J. Rodgers (2) as Bambi | Director: Robert Berlinger
Writer: Bob Kushell | | | |
| 40 :02x20 - Dickmalion (Apr/13/1997) | | When Albright fails to get "in" with Rutherford's high society, Dick ends up making the cut, but discovers it's not what it's cracked up to be. Sally and Harry try wrestling. To impress a girl, Tommy becomes a punk at school. | | Guest Stars: James Ingersoll as Mr. Patterson, Justin Urich as Romano, Nancy Lenehan as Mrs. St. Clair, Linda Cardellini as Lorna, John Craig (1) as Kid, Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, Blake Soper as Elman, Henry Woronicz as Mr. St. Clair, Sam Chew, Jr. (1) as Man | Director: Robert Berlinger
Writer: Michael Glouberman, Andrew Orenstein | | | |
| 41 :02x21 - Sensitive Dick (Apr/27/1997) | | Dick is forced to take sensitivity training after he comes down too hard on his students and they make a complaint against him. Harry escorts Vicki to her high school reunion. Officer Don tries to teach Tommy how to drive. | | Guest Stars: Harry Morgan as Prof. Suter, Winifred Freedman as Suzette, Layne Beamer as Jace, Kyle Colerider-Krugh as Elroy, Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, Wayne Knight as Officer Don, Jan Hooks as Vicki, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Greg Proops as Yasmine | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: David Sacks | | | | | | |
| 43 :02x23 - Fifteen Minutes of Dick (May/11/1997) | | Sally becomes a pseudo celebrity when she beats up Mark Hamill in a restaurant. Dick is jealous of Sally's fame. Tommy's school life is affected by Sally's newfound fame. As Sally's assistant, Harry becomes obsessed with keeping Sally on top. | | Special Guest Stars: Mark Hamill as Himself, | Guest Stars: Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, Shay Astar as August, Blake Soper as Elman, Justin Urich as Romano, | Co-Guest Stars: Rif Hutton as Bookstore Guy, Christopher Holloway (1) as Stage Manager, Michael Cervin as Reporter, Lori Hall (1) as Voice in Audience | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Jim O'Doherty, David M. Israel (1) | | | | | | |
| 45 :02x25 - A Nightmare on Dick Street (1) (May/18/1997) | | When Dr. Albright anounces she is going to Borneo for a year, Dick decides to ask her to marry him. Because of his anxiety Dick experiences his first nightmare leading the other aliens to believe that Dick's brain is breaking down creating more anxiety and nightmares for Sally and Tommy. | | Guest Stars: Jim Pirri as Antonio, Kevin Scannell as Dr. Goldberg, Randy Newman as Himself, Kevin Farley as Jehovah's Witness, James Willington as Borskey, John A. Huoy as Rico, Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, Wayne Knight as Officer Don, Ian Lithgow as Leon, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Brenda Strong as Miss Frost | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Bill Martin (1), Mike Schiff, Bob Kushell | | | |
| 46 :02x26 - A Nightmare on Dick Street (2) (May/18/1997) | | Harry contacts the Big Giant Head so they can return for emergency maintenance. Dick decides to stay behind and risk dying as a human than to go back and chance not returning in Mary's lifetime. | | Guest Stars: Jim Pirri as Antonio, Kevin Scannell as Dr. Goldberg, Randy Newman as Himself, Kevin Farley as Jehovah's Witness, James Willington as Borskey, John A. Huoy as Rico, Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, Wayne Knight as Officer Don, Ian Lithgow as Leon, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Brenda Strong as Miss Frost | Director: Phil Joanou
Writer: Bill Martin (1), Mike Schiff, Bob Kushell | | | |
Season 3 |
| 47 :03x01 - Fun with Dick and Janet (1) (Sep/24/1997) | | Sally, Harry, and Tommy return from the Home Planet with a surprise -- The Big Giant Head has sent his niece Janet, to be Dick's wife. Sally, Harry, and Tommy forget to cover up their landing site, and Officer Don thinks that aliens have landed in Rutherford. Tommy turns himself in for vandalism to keep Don from reporting his findings to the FBI. | | Guest Stars: Lee Ryan (2) as Minister, David Bickford as Professor #1, Brandi Brown (1) as Professor #2, Matthew Fonda as Professor #3, Don Gettinger as Professor #4, Roseanne as Janet, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Mark Brazill, Bob Kushell | | | |
| 48 :03x02 - Fun with Dick and Janet (2) (Sep/24/1997) | | Albright learns about Janet and breaks ups with Dick. Janet dumps Dick and hits the road in search of a younger, better guy. Although Janet's gone, Albright's going to need some time to think about taking Dick back. | | Guest Stars: Lee Ryan (2) as Minister, Roseanne as Janet | | | |
| 49 :03x03 - Tricky Dick (Oct/08/1997) | | Still angry after their split, Dick and Mary play a series of practical jokes on each other that goes a little too far--and then gets really nasty. After August says she's attracted to musicians, Tommy agrees to join Elman and Romano's rock band, and Harry becomes their roadie. Sally, incensed that their yoga instructor is attracted to Albright instead of her, wages an all-out war to make the guy want her. | | Guest Stars: Justin Urich as Romano, Chip Chinery as Maintenance Guy, Carlos Cervantes as Mechanic, Stephen Wilens as Painter, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Blake Soper as Elman, Spencer Vrooman as Dukes, Leigh J. McCloskey as Yoga Instructor) | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Bill Martin (1), Mike Schiff | | | |
| 50 :03x04 - Dick-In-Law (Oct/15/1997) | | Dick convinces Albright that since she hasn't yet told her parents the engagement's off, he should accompany her when she visits home. Soon, however, he's wishing he never ingratiated himself with the acerbic and dysfunctional Albright family. When Harry, Tommy, and Sally set out to help Nina move, Sally decides to move in with Nina instead--which lasts about an hour and half. | | Guest Stars: George Grizzard as George Albright, Jodi Johnson as Young Mary, Elaine Stritch as Martha Albright | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Christine Zander | | | |
| 51 :03x05 - Scaredy Dick (Oct/29/1997) | | It's Halloween, and the thing Dick is most afraid of is going to the doctor for a routine physical, until back home, he and Harry face off against what seems to be a genuine ghost -- and turns out to be Mrs. Dubcek trapped in a crawlspace behind the wall. Sally and Tommy tangle with trick-or-treaters at Albrights house, leaving Mary to deal with the aftermath. | | Guest Stars: Emile Hirsch as Punk, Paige Segal as Princess, Linde Gibb as Nurse, Richard McGonagle as Dr. Howard, Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, David DeLuise as Bug, Ian Lithgow as Leon, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: David Sacks | | | | | | |
| 53 :03x07 - Eleven Angry Men and One Dick (Nov/12/1997) | | Dick confronts the inadequacies of the American judicial system when he's called for jury duty. Sally is intrigued by a moody British artist named Seth, and begins emulating his lifestyle. Tommy and Harry volunteer for Albright's classroom demonstration, which entails communicating without words for five days. | | Guest Stars: Joyce Guy as Claire, Richard Fancy as Judge Debelko, Stephen Rockwell as Attorney #5, Patrick Kerr (1) as Irving, Jim O'Doherty as Bailiff, Jack Hallett (1) as Jury Foreman, Amy Bryden as Gretchen, Joe Bays as Foster, Damon Chandler as Attorney #1, Jason Carter as Seth, David DeLuise as Bug, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Mary Portser as Attorney #6 | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: David Goetsch, Jason Venokur | | | |
| 54 :03x08 - A Friend in Dick (Nov/19/1997) | | Dick, friendless after his breakup with Albright, tries to shoehorn Officer Don into his life as best friend and constant companion... with mixed results. Sally shaghais the slickly popular dancer Peter Connelly ("King of the Jig") to Johnny Foam's Cafe as a sacrificial lamb for her moody artist boyfriend Seth, and is horrified to learn that rather than the dark and tortured soul she fell for, Seth is a poseur... and a jig fan. Harry tries to get a job so he can buy Tommy some rollerblades, but lacking the required diploma, he must first weather the indignities of night school. | | Guest Stars: Sean Moran as Ernie, Jason Carter as Seth, Steve Larson (1) as Larry, Brian Jacobs as Handler #1, Nancy Lee (1) as Mrs. De Guzman, Spencer Vrooman as Dukes, Susanne Wright as Woman, Wendy Philpott as Waitress, Chad Enbinder as Police Officer, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Peter Krause as Peter Connelly, Lauren Tyreck as Ms. Piazza | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Gregg Mettler | | | | | | |
| 56 :03x10 - Tom, Dick and Mary (Dec/03/1997) | | Tommy, despairing that he never gets to meet interesting women his own age, forms an attachment to Albright that incites Dick's jealousy. Sally gets an office job, then mistakenly thinks that her physical appearance is causing her boss' lewd advances and that she's sexually harrassing him. Dick orders Hary to stop watching television for a week. After multiple attempts to sidestep Dick's order, Harry uses his spare time to actually start thinking, which annoys the family to the point where they give him back his TV. | | Guest Stars: Rex Linn as Webber, Shay Astar as August, Cathrine Grace (2) as Veronica | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Bonnie Turner, Terry Turner | | | |
| 57 :03x11 - Jailhouse Dick (Dec/17/1997) | | Dick bets Officer Don he can rehabilitate a petty criminal more effectively than Rutherford's justice system can, but the project is torpedoed by Dick's own inability to trust the guy. Albright decides to give away the dog Dick gave her when they were still going out, then regrets her decision to take Pepper to the pound. Tommy convinces Harry that writing his night school book report will be easier if he takes a few "shortcuts" -- which wind up taking far more time and effort than simply reading the book. | | Guest Stars: Chad Einbinder as Rocco, Tom Ayers as Clerk, Steve Larson (1) as Larry, Nancy Yee as Mrs. Deguzman, Mark Burnham as Cooper, Larry De Russy as Schiffy, Sam Lloyd as Eddie, David Chandler (3) as Mr. Wexler | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Jim O'Doherty, David M. Israel (1) | | | |
| 58 :03x12 - Dick on a Roll (Jan/07/1998) | | Dick hurts himself playing in a wheelchair, which puts him in one for real -- and turns him into an angry advocate for handicapped rights. Meanwhile, Dubcek's daughter Vicki visits but decides to become celibate, much to Harry's chagrin. | | Guest Stars: John Platt as Passerby, Nancy Becker-Kennedy as Billnitzer, Joseph G. Medalis as Chancellor, Jan Hooks as Vicki, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Blake Soper as Elman, Justin Urich as Romano | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: David Goetsch, Jason Venokur | | | |
| 59 :03x13 - The Great Dickdater (Jan/21/1998) | | Dick decides that it's time to date again, so he goes to Sally and Officer Don for advice; Harry and Tommy find a wallet with $200 in it, and return the money to the owner. | | Guest Stars: Kathleen Garrett as Celia, Wendy Philpott as Jena, John Benjamin Hickey as Rick, Suanne Spoke as Bibi, Brynn Harris as Woman #1, Lesley Fera as Woman #2, George Hale as Guy #1, Paul DiMeo as Guy #2, Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, Patrick Finn (1) as Paul | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: David Sacks | | | |
| 60 :03x14 - 36! 24! 36! Dick! (1) (Jan/25/1998) | | When hordes of beautiful women start showing up in sleepy Rutherford, Ohio -- and seem enthusiastic about dating average joes like Dick, Harry, Tommy, and Officer Don -- Sally suspects that something's amiss. Before she can warn anyone that the women are really Venusians bent on dominating Earth, they discover her and force her to become one of them. | | Guest Stars: Alex Kubik as Counterman, Shonda Whipple as Perky Idiot #2, Sonya Eddy as Ticket Taker, Beverly Johnson as Prell, Shireen Crutchfield as Kirsta, Frank Clem as Waiter, Diana Castle as Saleswoman, Jourdain Chapdelaine as Perky Idiot #1, Roger Hewlitt (1) as Security Guard #1, Cindy Crawford (2) as Mascha, Chad Einbinder as Rico, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Patrick Kerr (1) as Irving, Al Foster as Security Guard #2, Brynn Hartman as Venusian #1, Irina Pantaeva as Gabriella, Angie Everhart as Chloe, Greg Gumbel as Himself | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Bill Martin (1), Mike Schiff, Christine Zander | | | |
| 61 :03x15 - 36! 24! 36! Dick! (2) (Jan/25/1998) | | The Solomon men embark on a country-wide search for Sally that ends at the Super Bowl, where the lethal lovelies have planned to unleash their most devastating weapon yet -- the ultimate beer commercial, designed to enslave mankind into coughing up the rest of their pricy consumer goods. In the supervixens' lair, the Solomon men seem defeated, but with the help of Sally, who only pretended to turn against them, and Venusian Mascha (Cindy Crawford), who's been won over by Harry's simple charms, Dick and company jam the commercial broadcast, explode the mother ship, and convince the supervixens that a career in modeling might suit them. Meanwhile, Albright and Nina's plans to attend the Super Bowl are thwarted when the Solomons steal their tickets to gain access to the Venusians, and back in Rutherford, Officer Don throws a decidedly low-key Super Bowl party. | | Guest Stars: Alex Kubik as Counterman, Shonda Whipple as Perky Idiot #2, Sonya Eddy as Ticket Taker, Beverly Johnson as Prell, Shireen Crutchfield as Kirsta, Frank Clem as Waiter, Diana Castle as Saleswoman, Jourdain Chapdelaine as Perky Idiot #1, Roger Hewlitt (1) as Security Guard #1, Cindy Crawford (2) as Mascha, Chad Einbinder as Rico, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Patrick Kerr (1) as Irving, Al Foster as Security Guard #2, Brynn Hartman as Venusian #1, Irina Pantaeva as Gabriella, Angie Everhart as Chloe, Greg Gumbel as Himself | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Bill Martin (1), Mike Schiff, Christine Zander | | | |
| 62 :03x16 - Pickles and Ice Cream (Jan/28/1998) | | Sally, intrigued by the "cult of pregnancy" and the strange bonding rituals that occur between its members, pretends to be pregnant in order to share the experience. Dick, inititially skeptical, is entranced by the power of ushering in a new human life when he helps to deliver the baby of a woman in Sally's Lamaze class. Sally, however, is struck by the immense responsibility that motherhood entails, and vows to wait until she's ready before experiencing it for herself. Harry's pet from the home planet, Pickles, tracks him down across galaxies, with one big change -- he's assumed human form. Harry, initially thrilled at the reunion, decides that Earth might be too dangerous a place for his pet, and sends him home -- but not before Pickles has a close encounter with Mrs. Dubcek. | | Guest Stars: Scott Kloes as Mark, Jim O'Doherty as Clem, Denise Poirier as Judy, Audrey Kissel as Angela, Barbara Lee Bragg as Karen, David Q. Combs as Dr. Harris, Mariah Nunn as Jacque, Cynthea Forbes (1) as Cindy, Bill Irwin (3) as Pickles, Trisha Debski as Wendy | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Bob Kushell | | | |
| 63 :03x17 - Auto EuroDicka (Feb/04/1998) | | Dick has casual sex with a woman he meets in line at the movies, then doesn't understand why Dr. Albright gets upset when he keeps talking about the encounter. Dick learns that the woman is the mother of one of his students, Bug (David Deluise), whose father and brothers (Dom, Peter, and Michael Deluise) pay a visit to Dick in an effort to teach him to show a little more respect. Sally decides she needs her own car, and she, Harry, and Tommy learn about the joys of shopping at a used car lot, where they learn that the salesman is decidedly not a "friend who's there to help." | | Guest Stars: Peter DeLuise as Frank, Karen Austin (1) as Anita Palone, Dom DeLuise as Mr. Palone, Terry Rhoads as Bill, Marguerite Moreau as Tina, Christine Zander as Woman, David DeLuise as Bug, Ian Lithgow as Leon, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Shay Astar as August, Michael DeLuise as Paulie Pollone | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Mark Brazill | | | |
| 64 :03x18 - Stuck with Dick (Feb/25/1998) | | Dick's attempts to woo Mary back falter when the two of them become trapped in the university library for the weekend. Mary's initial resistance to rekindling her romance with Dick begins to melt because of (a) several magnums of cheap champagne, and (b) her realization that Dick was the only person to check her dissertation out of the library in the last fifteen years. Realizing Dick is missing, and fearing the worst, Sally, Harry, and Tommy break into Albright's house to look for him and, if necessary, physically drag him away from Mary. Instead, Sally winds up hosting a Tupperware party for all of Mary's friends, filling what had been a void in her life with her first experience at being a hostess. | | Guest Stars: Jerry Lambert as Shop Owner, Rebecca Roy as Guest #1, Miriam Flynn as Suzie Martin | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: David M. Israel (1), Jim O'Doherty | | | |
| 65 :03x19 - Portrait of Tommy as an Old Man (Feb/25/1998) | | Tommy, tired of having to handle all of the "kid" duties (when in reality he's the oldest member of the mission), decides to retire. After he spends some time at a retirement home, he changes his mind, realizing that a big part of what makes you old is acting -- and being treated -- like your old. Dick, thinking that Mary is anguished because she never got a chance to fulfill her fantasy of becoming a torch singer, tries to help her to realize that dream. He learns that sometimes the choices we make between two career paths can be right on the money. In a moment of weakness, Officer Don steals a pair of Sally's panties, and makes a series of vain attempts to return them without being caught in the act. | | Guest Stars: Ken Thorley as Artie, Charles C. Stevenson, Jr. (1) as Lester, Gloria LeRoy as Dolores, Fred Pinkard as Louis, Gene Elman as Stan, John Webber as Diner, Everett Greenbaum as Norman | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Bob Kushell, Gregg Mettler | | | |
| 66 :03x20 - My Daddy's Little Girl (Apr/01/1998) | | Albright's father, George, visiting during a separation from Mary's mother, falls for Sally. Sally, in return, is intrigued by George's charming, old-school ways, his gentlemanliness, and his tales of World War Two exploits. Mary is both mortified by their mutual attraction, and fearful that this new relationship will lessen her dad's affections for her. Sally ultimately breaks things off with George to spare Mary's feelings. Meanwhile, Harry becomes a shock-talk jock at the Pendleton University radio station, but when his caustic ways spread from his listeners to Tommy, Nina, and Officer Don, he finds himself with neither audience nor friends. | | Guest Stars: Sam Lloyd as Eddie, George Grizzard as Mr. Albright | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Christine Zander, Mark Brazill | | | |
| 67 :03x21 - The Physics of Being Dick (Apr/15/1998) | | When Dick attempts (and fails) to convince the students at Tommy's high school Career Day that physics is exciting, he reconsiders his choice of occupations. When Don lets him participate in a police interrogation, however, Dick learns that an education in physics can be used to succeed in a variety of pursuits -- for instance, baffling a suspect into confessing. Also, Dick orders Sally and Harry to get their own jobs. Harry tries his hand as a sympathetic bartender who ministers to his customers' psyches as much their thirsts. Sally becomes a research assistant for Albright, but concentrates more on buttering up her new boss than on doing thorough work, a skill that keeps her from getting fired when her shoddy translations cause embarrassment when Albright uses them in a speech. | | Guest Stars: Dublin James as Vinny, John Platt as Man, Jeff Doucette as Chet, Jordan Brower as Steve, Shay Astar as August, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Jim Beaver (1) as Doug, Jim O'Doherty as Carl, Wayne Pére as Jonesy | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: David Schiff | | | |
| 68 :03x22 - Just Your Average Dick (1) (Apr/28/1998) | | After research shows them that they've failed in their mission of blending in as a normal, average American family, the Solomons strive to correct the problem by moving into a bland, beige apartment, dressing less oddly, and eschewing all that has made them stand out. Sally joins the tenants' association and becomes obsessed with making everyone in the complex adhere to the strict guidelines imposed by the group. When Dick meets a visiting professor whom Mary finds charming because of his eccentricity, Dick realizes he has erred in abandoning his individuality. He, Tommy, and Harry conspire to get Sally to hoist herself on the petard of her own narrow-mindedness, getting them all evicted so they can return to their beloved attic apartment. | | Guest Stars: Amanda Carlin as Flora, Christopher Liam Moore (1) as Waiter, John Hillner as Steve, Carey Eidel as Jeff, John Cleese as Dr. Liam Neesam, Shay Astar as August, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Michael Glouberman, Andrew Orenstein | | | |
| 69 :03x23 - Dick and the Other Guy (2) (Apr/28/1998) | | Visiting professor Liam Neesam (John Cleese) is better than Dick at everything -- darts, physics, golf, cooking, and especially romancing Mary. Dick gets more and more frustrated until he realizes that the reason Liam's so good at everything is that he's an alien. Dick is on the verge of telling Liam that he's an alien, too, when Liam tells Dick he's decided not to vaporize the Earth because Dick is such a shining example of the human race, To save the Earth, Dick keeps his mouth shut -- no easy feat. Sally has a series of dating woes that come to a head when she thinks that even Officer Don has lost interest in her. Harry and Tommy try to help her find another man, but Sally, obsessed with finding out what has replaced her in Don's affections, presses on -- only to learn that his new mistress is a gal called "karaoke." | | Guest Stars: John Cleese as Dr. Liam Neesam, Jill Matson as Jill, Tangie Ambrose as Lisa, Steve Larson (1) as Larry | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Bonnie Turner, Terry Turner | | | |
| 70 :03x24 - Sally and Don's First Kiss (May/06/1998) | | Sally turns to romance novels for inspiration when it's time for her first kiss with Officer Don. Unfortunately, whether they try it on a windy, moonlit bluff or in the Solomons' kitchen, the kiss just isn't special enough. Sally becomes resigned to breaking up with Don, but when she goes to the police stable to tell him, the magical combination of horses, thunder, lightning, and Don's newfound forcefulness combine to make Sally realize Don's the guy for her after all. Dick is perturbed because the cafeteria lady charges him -- and only him -- for crackers. Realizing he has no control over her inexplicable dislike for him allows him to free himself from being bothered by her unjust treatment. Harry graduates from night school, and he and fellow classmates Mrs. DeGuzman and Larry reminisce about all the great times they had together during their ten-week enrollment. | | Guest Stars: Nancy Yee as Mrs. DeGuzman, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Marianne Muellerleile as Lucy, Steve Larson (1) as Larry | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: David Sacks | | | |
| 71 :03x25 - When Aliens Camp (May/13/1998) | | Dick takes the family camping as a mission bonding activity. At the campsite, the family and Mary all become angry with Dick -- the family because he lies about bringing Mary along after he tells them it's "family only," and Mary because he tells her the family doesn't mind she's coming along. After they all cast him out, Dick goes off by himself and attempts to form a new society with a troop of Beaver Scouts he encounters. The Solomons assume Dick is lost and set out to find him. They (especially Sally, who resents her command being usurped) initially reject Mary's offers of help in finding Dick... until they realize she knows a lot more about the outdoors than they do. | | Guest Stars: Andrew Ducote as Todd, Miles Marsico as Freddy, Marcus T. Paulk as Jimmy, Jack Salvatore, Jr. as Roy | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Jim O'Doherty, David M. Israel (1) | | | |
| 72 :03x26 - The Tooth Harry (May/20/1998) | | Mary is asked to appear in a new Pendelton University promotional video. Dick whines until he is also allowed to participate. Unfortunately, neither of them shares the director's vision of what their "performances" should be like, and they are unceremoniously replaced by other "actors" (including Tommy). Harry volunteers to drive Nina to the dentist. A romance develops, but fizzles when the money Harry leaves under Nina's pillow as a Tooth Fairy reward is misinterpreted, and Nina, highly offended, throws him out. Officer Don gives Sally a key to his apartment, but his glee soon turns to gloom when she starts seeing the place as less of a love nest and more of a one-woman party zone that she can trash whenever she wants to. When Don calls her attention to her inconsiderate behavior, she apologizes -- but he still takes back his key. | | Guest Stars: Eddie Allen (1) as Dr. Bankson, Taylor Emerson as Ronnie, Andrea Walters as Mom, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Chad Einbinder as Rico, Jeff Doucette as Chet | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Joshua Sternin, Jeffrey Ventimilia | | | |
| 73 :03x27 - Eat, Drink, Mary (1) (May/20/1998) | | It's the second anniversary of the first time Dick slept with Mary, and love is in the air. Dick decides to throw a party for himself and Mary, Harry and Vicki Dubcek (Jan Hooks), who's back in town and ready to pick up their romance where it left off, and Sally and Officer Don. When the family realizes that Tommy's been hiding some serious gourmet cooking skills from them, Dick insists that Tommy prepare a festive menu for the lovers. At the party, Dick realizes that Mary has no idea what they're celebrating, and he begins to have doubts about the future of their relationship. Just as Dick and Mary are settling their problems in one room, and Sally and Don are about to consummate their love in another, they're all interrupted by Vicki, screaming that Harry's been abducted by her psychotic ex-boyfriend, Randy (Phil Hartman), who's come to town to eliminate his competition by kidnapping him. In Randy's car, Harry receives a transmission from the Big Giant Head, potentially compromising the aliens' identities. | | Guest Stars: Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, Jan Hooks as Vicki, Shay Astar as August, Phil Hartman as Randy | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Jason Venokur, David Goetsch | | | |
Season 4 |
| 74 :04x01 - Doctor Solomon's Traveling Alien Show (2) (Sep/23/1998) | | Harry's still missing, and the other Solomons and Vicki Dubcek (Jan Hooks) set out to find him. There's only one problem - due to Dick's failure to turn in his status reports, the Big Giant Head is punishing him by impairing his brain functions, making him quite confused and quite a handful to look after. Harry has been sold to a sideshow, where its Svengali-like owner (Larry Miller) convinces him that his family doesn't care about him, but here, he will be beloved by the crowd, and embraced by his new family: his fellow freaks. The solomons find Harry and try to convince him to send the status report - which would return Dick to normal- and come home with them. Harry, realizing that to send the report is kiss his act - and his new family - goodbye, is hesitant, but finally does the right thing. Back at home, Albright and Officer Don commiserate over the difficulties involved in loving a Solomon. | | Guest Stars: Arturo Gil as Lars, John Valdetero as Giganticus, Ed Gale as Oscar, Teresa Parente as Dahlia, Jan Hooks as Vicki, Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, Larry Miller (1) as Garvin, Alex Alexander (1) as Tiffany | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Christine Zander | | | |
| 75 :04x02 - Power Mad Dick (Oct/07/1998) | | Albright is promoted to dean, and Dick assumes that he has acquired power by association, which he immediately begins to abuse. When Dick goes too far by firing cafeteria lady Lucy, with whom he has a long-standing feud, Albright appeases Lucy by hiring her as her secretary - and gatekeeper in charge of keeping Dick out of Mary's office, much to Dick's dismay. Also, it's finally time for Sally to lose her virginity to Officer Don, and afterwards, she's confused by the fact that for the first time, there's something in her life she wants to keep private from the family - no matter how hard they try to pry the juicy details out of her. | | Guest Stars: Lawrence Mandley as Carlos, Jorge Luis Abreu as Ron, Bill Chott as Fredf, Jim Jackman (1) as Vanetta, Chad Einbinder as Rico, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Marianne Muellerleile as Lucy, Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, Sid Newman as Phelps | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: David Sacks | | | |
| 76 :04x03 - Feelin' Albright (Oct/14/1998) | | Now that Mary is dean, Dick's intoxication with his access to her power gives way to frustration that he's just her "spouse," powerless and ornamental. To appease him, she puts him in charge of a meaningless vanity project - a charity fashion show. When the other professors praise him effusively even though his fundraiser fails, Dick realizes that they're only using him to suck up to Mary, and he demands that they treat him with the contempt that he actually deserves. Sally freaks out when she realizes that she's not Don's first serious girlfriend, and becomes obsessed with seeing how she measures up to his past paramours, until she finally realizes that nothing matters but what the two of them have now. Harry and Tommy try to strike it rich with a neighborhood lemonade stand, then quit when they realize it's a cute thing for kids to do, but a creepy thing for adults. | | Guest Stars: Nicolas Coster (1) as Chancellor Stevens, Ruth de Sosa as Laura, Carol Mansell as Mrs. Smith, Susan Bjurman as Mrs. Guthridge, Andrea Harper as Saleswoman, Marianne Muellerleile as Lucy, Elizabeth Anne Smith as Tina | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Bob Kushell | | | |
| 77 :04x04 - Collect Call for Dick (Oct/21/1998) | | The Solomons confront the collector mentality when they discover Fuzzy Buddies - highly collectible small plush animal toys. Sally enjoys the thrill of the hunt and the prospects for financial rewards, Harry just thinks they're cute, but for Dick it's deeper - he enjoys the sensation of collecting until it gets to be like a drug for him, and his family and friends have to do an intervention. In an effort to instill "pep" into Tommy, the basketball coach forces him to become the team mascot, "Hootie the Owl." Initially contemptuous, Tommy finds that folks (especially cute cheerleaders) dig him when he's in costume, and the power goes to his head. When the team loses, Tommy, high on school spirit, tackles the coach, landing him in the principal's office. | | Guest Stars: J. P. Manoux as Clerk, Peggy Miley as The Columbian, John Platt as P.A. Announcer, Christine Zander as Herself, Erika Christensen as Brianna, Dorian Frankel as Customer, Michael Milhoan as Coach, Peter Jurasik as Principal | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: David M. Israel (1), Jim O'Doherty | | | |
| 78 :04x05 - What's Love Got To Do, Got To Do With Dick? (Oct/28/1998) | | Dick, frustrated because busy dean Mary never seems to have time for him, finds himself increasingly enchanted with his new officemate, Jennifer (Laurie Metcalfe). Confused by his feelings, he vows to resist the attraction, but it's too much for him - they kiss. Sally tries to fix Nina up with Don's friend Eric, then takes it as a personal insult when it doesn't turn out to be a love match. She schemes to bring them back together, but the only passion she manages ito ignite between them is their rabid dislike for each other - hardly a satisfying victory for Sally. Tommy fixes up the "Love Tester" machine at the bar where Hary works, then is miffed that he can't make it go higher than "Cold Fish." | | Guest Stars: Obi Ndefo as Eric, Chip Chinery as Workman, Laurie Metcalf as Jennifer, Marianne Muellerleile as Lucy, Jim Beaver (1) as Doug | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Bill Martin (1), Mike Schiff | | | |
| 79 :04x06 - I Am Dick Pentameter! (Nov/04/1998) | | Dick tells Mary he thinks they should see other people, and she laughingly agrees, not knowing he already has a candidate lined up--new officemate Jennifer (Laurie Metcalf). Dick is fascinated by Jennifer's intoxicating giggle, her adorable penchant for rhyming, and the braveway she copes with her numerous food allergies. Just as a furious Albright learns of Dick's new dalliance, he begins to grow less and less enchanted with Jennifer's eccentricities (particularly the rhyming), and to regret ever having ended things with Mary. Meanwhile, Sally, Harry, and Tommy question the limited functions of the kitchen and the living room, and decide to design an uber-room with the best elements of each--"the Klivingtchen." | | Guest Stars: Laurie Metcalf as Jennifer | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: David Goetsch, Jason Venokur | | | |
| 80 :04x07 - D3: Judgement Day (Nov/11/1998) | | Dick's lack of enchantment with Jennifer (Laurie Metcalf) has grown into full-blown loathing. Just as he's about to break up with her, however, he discovers that his romantic unavailability is making Albright want him back. He decides to continue playing Jennifer against Mary, not only to get Mary back, but to make her want to spend even more time with him than before their breakup. Finally, Jennifer breaks up with him, but Dick pretends they're still dating--a tactic that blows up in his face when Jennifer and Albright compare notes. When Officer Don's atttempts to teach Sally how to bowl are met with her alarming disregard for the rules and traditions of the sport he loves, he resorts to sneaking behind her back to bowl with Tommy and Harry. | | Guest Stars: Chip Chinery as Guy, John Platt as Man, William Mesnik as Maitre d', Doug Appleoff as Chad, Dina L. Bennett (1) as Lily, Mandy Vejar as Velma, Scott Dicken as David, Laurie Metcalf as Jennifer | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Michael Glouberman, Andrew Orenstein | | | |
| 81 :04x08 - Indecent Dick (Dec/09/1998) | | Sally, intrigued by the money and glamour, decides to pose nude for ³Playpen² magazine, a decision that doesn¹t sit well with her policeman boyfriend, Don. Ultimately, though, she¹s depressed when she¹s rejected as too ³old-looking² to be a co-ed. Dick is mortified to learn that Mary posed nude for art photos twenty years ago, and vows to track down every last print so no one can see her naked but him. When he goes to destroy the pictures, however, he¹s taken by how beautiful Mary looks in them, and can¹t go through with it. Harry wants to know what all the fuss over nudity is about, and decides to try going naked twenty-four hours a day. Tommy becomes infatuated with his pretty new biology lab partner, Alissa, and fears that he¹s made a fool of himself by bringing soup to her house when she¹s sick. Fortunately for him, she seems charmed by the gesture. | | Guest Stars: Dave Allen (1) as Arthur, Larisa Oleynik as Alissa, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Tim Haldeman as Mr. Kraft | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Bob Kushell | | | |
| 82 :04x09 - Happy New Dick! (Dec/15/1998) | | Dick, pondering the significance of New Year¹s Eve, fears that he¹s done nothing of consequence in 1998. When he mistakenly thinks it¹s midnight a few minutes early, he embraces Mary and dances with her in the snow -- a perfect moment that he later realizes was not only his most meaningful act of 1998, but also a lovely way to start 1999. Harry hires Larry and Mrs. DeGuzman to work at Happy Doug¹s Bar with him, but they¹re both so dang lazy, he fires them both on New Year¹s Eve. Officer Don gets upset that Sally takes advantage of his nice-guy nature, and he lays down the law -- her cutesy, little-girl cajoling will no longer work on him. Sally realizes that with her feminine appeal comes a great deal of responsibility for using it benevolently, and she vows to do better in the new year. Tommy, the party coordinator for Happy Doug¹s big celebration, is completely frazzled by the enormous responsibility of helping Rutherford ring in the new year. | | Guest Stars: Jeff Doucette as Chet, Nancy Yee as Mrs. Dagarmau, Jim Beaver (1) as Doug, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Steve Larson (1) as Larry | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Christine Zander | | | |
| 83 :04x10 - Two-Faced Dick (Jan/05/1999) | | Responding to a three-year-old request from Sally that she be given a male body, the Big Giant Head switches Sally¹s body with Dick¹s. Each of them has to cope with all the thorny details of gender reassignment, including such specifics as how to deal with men¹s catcalls, and where to find cute shoes in Dick¹s size. Plus, each of them has to successfully maintain the other¹s romantic relationship. They each get as far as a kiss, but before things go any further, their request to switch back is granted, leaving them both far more knowledgeable about what it¹s like to be a member of the opposite sex. Also, vacationing Doug leaves Harry in charge of the bar, which turns ugly when some tough-looking bikers start hanging out there. Just when Harry and Tommy have decided that the bikers aren¹t such bad fellows after all, they rob the place, leaving it in a shambles. | | Guest Stars: Jim Maniaci as Raff, Chad Einbinder as Rico, Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, Jim Beaver (1) as Doug, Ian Lithgow as Leon, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Mike Grief as Riff | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Gil Goldberg | | | |
| 84 :04x11 - Dick Solomon of the Indiana Solomons (Jan/12/1999) | | When Dick gets a misaddressed invitation, he decides to pack up Mary and the family, head to Indiana, and experience what a family reunion is like. Expected to find warmth, love, and support, he is upset to learn he's walked into the middle of a forty-year-old feud. After Mary's suggested strategy of repression fails, Dick realizes that family isn't always perfect, but they're all you've got, so you might as well like it. Harry bonds with Uncle Abe (Jack Carter) to the point where he absorbs his knowledge of family history, his love of cigars, his raspy voice, and his worldly wisdom. Sally is thrilled when she develops a sisterly relationship with cousin Michelle, and dejected when Michelle's real sister arrives to usurp her. Tommy thinks he's found a love connection with cousin Janine, but doesn't understand why she's creeped out by his advances--and devastated when he tells her their love isn't forbidden because she's actually adopted. | | Guest Stars: Christine Lakin as Michelle, Kurtwood Smith as Jacob, Courtney Peldon as Janice, Jeanine Jackson (1) as Claire, Julie Claire as Jenny, Cynthia Frost as Aunt Sylvia, Elsa Raven as Aunt Florence, Jack Carter (1) as Uncle Abe | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Gregg Mettler | | | |
| 85 :04x12 - Dick and Taxes (Feb/02/1999) | | Dick¹s never paid taxes, and after trying to fill out the forms himself, he enlists Mary¹s help. When he sees how much he owes, he decides to be the only American ever to think of the brilliant idea of cheating on his taxes. When Dick gets an audit notice, Tommy has to fudge an explanation for what each family member has been doing for the past six years. The auditor, however, doesn¹t buy any of it -- even the ³we¹re aliens² defense, which he¹s heard before. The Solomons agree to pay their hefty tax bill, and thank their lucky stars their true identities are still a secret. As part of the tax deception, Sally pretends she had a failed home business -- a hair salon -- but when she puts up the sign, women start pouring in. Sally enjoys the camaraderie and the gossip, but never quite gets the hang of cutting hair, and with no repeat business, the salon fails for real. | | Guest Stars: Sally Ann Brooks as Verna, Susan Ilene Johnson (1) as Linda, Melissa Egan as Nellie, Sherry C. Brown (1) as Splendida, Marianne Muellerleile as Lucy, Jim Jansen (1) as Mr. Ginder | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Michael Glouberman, Andrew Orenstein | | | |
| 86 :04x13 - Sally Forth (Feb/09/1999) | | When Sally tells Officer Don she can¹t take living with Dick, Harry, and Tommy anymore, he assumes that she wants him to propose. Sally realizes, however, that what she really wants is to start living as an independent woman, and they tearfully break off their engagement. When Dick has a tenant-landlord dispute with the Dubceks, he casts Harry out of the family for consorting with the enemy. The situation escalates to the point where Dick, frozen and filthy, is reduced to squatting in his apartment without benefit of heat or lights. The feud ends when Dick realizes he was so preoccupied that he didn¹t pay attention to an important milestone in Sally¹s life -- her all-too-brief engagement. When Alissa, the girl of his dreams, gets detention, Tommy works hard to get punished as well, in the hopes that it will provide him with the perfect opportunity to ask her out. | | Guest Stars: Blake Soper as Elman, Larisa Oleynik as Alissa, Jan Hooks as Vicki, Tim Haldeman as Mr. Kraft | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: David Sacks | | | |
| 87 :04x14 - Paranoid Dick (Feb/16/1999) | | Albright¹s feeling a little uncertain about her waning power at the college, and Dick eggs her on into full-blown paranoia. As a result, she gets caught breaking into another professor¹s office looking for evidence of a nonexistent conspiracy against her, and winds up losing her deanship. Meanwhile, Vicki Dubcek convinces Sally that the perfect thing to help her get over her breakup with Don is a weekend of riverboat gambling on the Cincinnati Queen. Vicki and Sally engage in the rituals of backstage flirtation with a seductive Neil Diamond impersonator. Harry manages to win big at gambling without getting hooked, but loses all of his winnings to the lure of the casino gift shop. | | Guest Stars: Bryan Cranston as Neil, Diane Delano as Lorraine, Jill Matson as Ginger, Kelly Sells as Lounge Person, Marianne Muellerleile as Lucy, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Jan Hooks as Vicki, Nicolas Coster (1) as Chancellor Stewart | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: David M. Israel (1) | | | |
| 88 :04x15 - The House That Dick Built (Feb/23/1999) | | Dick feels like his control over the mission is falling to pieces when Sally decides to move out, and Harry considers having a baby with Vicki Dubcek. Dick tries to sabotage Sally¹s attempts to find a new place, but Sally decides to rent the apartment over Mrs. Dubcek¹s garage, Dick breaks in, posing as an intruder, to scare Sally into moving back home, but she beats the tar out of him. Meanwhile, Harry¹s debating whether or not he should have a baby with Vicki because he¹s unsure, both of his and Vicki¹s parenting abilities, and of the consequences of human/alien interbreeding. The two of them drop in on the house where Tommy¹s helping Alissa baby-sit so Harry can take the baby for a 'test drive.' When he sees how good Vicki is with the baby, he knows everything¹s going to be fine. Also, Tommy tries to figure out whether or not he's officially Alissa's boyfriend. | | Guest Stars: Matt McKenzie (1) as Mr. Wheeler, Larisa Oleynik as Alissa, Jan Hooks as Vicki, Sara Ballantine as Mrs. Wheeler | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Bill Martin (1), Mike Schiff | | | |
| 89 :04x16 - Superstitious Dick (Mar/02/1999) | | Dick receives a chain letter, but hesitates to discard it when he sees all of the ill fortune that befalls Mary after she scoffs and tosses hers out. When Dick does throw his away, he worries that he won't receive the prestigious physics grant he's applied for, and becomes obsessed with oddball charms and superstitious behaviors he thinks will bring him luck. What he doesn't realize until too late is that his weird behavior itself has caused him to lose the grant. Sally discovers the wonders of the Hardware Stop Superstore with the help of hunky and extremely competent employee Justin, and begins concocting problems just to spend time with him. Harry, whose orange shirt looks exactly like the Hardware Stop uniform, is baffled when other customers keep asking him to help them make keys, weigh bags of nails, and answer hardware questions. Also, chagrined that Alissa seems to have a massive crush on the Rutherford Ice Hogs' star hockey player, Tommy becomes concerned that he's not manly enough. | | Guest Stars: Michael Ensign as Fordham, Van Epperson as Bill, Rick Cramer (1) as Stenstrom, John Platt as Vendor, Mimi Cozzens as Hamilton, John Eric Bentley as Todd, Lindsey Fields as Louise, Kim Robillard as Howard, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Larisa Oleynik as Alissa, Chip Chinery as Janitor | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Gregg Mettler | | | |
| 90 :04x17 - Y2dicK (Mar/16/1999) | | Dick, who's never figured out computers, decides it's time to get plugged in. He discovers e-mail and the internet, and withdraws completely from the physical world, relying on take-out food, chat rooms, and live video feeds, and shutting out people, fresh air, and sunlight. When Mary tries to drag him away, he knocks over a Big Gulp cup, shorting out his system. Venturing outside to find the fuse box, Dick realizes that his computer wasn't keeping him connected to the world -- it was keeping him separated. Sally and Tommy go to buy a new TV set, but the more they learn about the available technology, the less satisfied they are with each purchase they make, until they've upgraded themselves into near-bankruptcy. Sadder but wiser, they return their expensive audiovisual equipment to the store. Also, Harry's all for trying to have a baby with Vicki, until the whole medical-science part of it makes it impossible for him to get in the mood. He tells Vicki it's the natural way or no way, and, turned on by his primal-ness, she agrees. | | Guest Stars: Christopher Newman (2) as Caleb, John Hudy as Salesman, Jake Thomas as Kid, Richard McGonagle as Dr. Howard, Jan Hooks as Vicki, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Larisa Oleynik as Alissa | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: David Goetsch, Jason Venokur | | | |
| 91 :04x18 - Dick the Mouth Solomon (Apr/06/1999) | | Sally meets a suave Italian-American man at a restaurant. He woos her, and when she learns he goes by the name of Sammy 'The Butcher' Marchetti, she and Tommy are thrilled because they assume he's a mobster. Sammy asks Tommy to run errands for him, and Tommy's excited to be working as -- he assumes -- a bag man for the Mob. When Sally and Tommy learn that Sam's not actually a Mafioso but a real butcher, his appeal fades, and they both lose interest in him. Mary, concerned that she and Dick need to work on their communication skills, convinces him to go to a couples retreat. To her dismay, her good intentions get turned around as everyone there -- including Harry and Vicki, the poster children for public displays of affection -- embraces Dick for his openness, and criticizes Mary for her emotional unavailability. | | Guest Stars: Anthony Tyler Quinn as Sam the Butcher Marchetti, Jonathan Nichols as Bartender, Donna Ponterotto as Waitress, Jan Hooks as Vicki, Kevin Nealon as Dennis Caslow | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Bob Kushell, Christine Zander | | | |
| 92 :04x19 - Citizen Solomon (Apr/29/1999) | | Now that Sally's moved out and won't clean for them anymore, the male Solomons decide that it's time to get a maid. They hire Mary's cleaning woman, Cathy, an inscrutable woman who makes their place sparkle. Overwhelmed by the results, the Solomons begin thinking of Cathy less as help and more as a treasured family member -- despite the fact that Cathy gives them no encouragement to do so. Meanwhile, Sally, jealous of the guys' affection for Cathy, decides that she'll turn the tables -- if Cathy can 'steal' Sally's family, Sally can steal Cathy's. Finally, Cathy, tired of the Solomons' intrusion into her private life, quits. Also, Tommy joins the staff of the school paper and is made editor, displaying a penchant for unearthing scandals both real and imagined. Busy with his new duties, Tommy assigns ex-girlfriend August to review Alissa in 'My Fair Lady.' August's review is unflattering but honest, and Tommy, true to his journalistic ideals, decides to run it. When confronted by a tearful Alissa, however, Tommy buckles, shifting blame to his 'biased' ex-girlfriend's desire to destroy his happiness. | | Guest Stars: Mark Ankeny as Husband, Eric Jungmann as Jerry, Peter Jurasik as Principal Greschner, Blake Soper as Elman, Larisa Oleynik as Alissa, Shay Astar as August, Susan Ruttan as Cathy | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Chris Haywood | | | |
| 93 :04x20 - Alien Hunter (May/04/1999) | | A mysterious woman, Charlotte (Kathy Bates), turns up in Dick's life, claiming first to be auditing his class, then to be writing an article about him, then to be an 'intellectual groupie.' She charms Sally, Tommy, and Harry, who are happy to oblige when she offers to help plan the surprise birthday party that Dick has demanded they throw him. Dick is too busy having his ego stroked, and the family is too busy being grateful for her help, to wonder what Charlotte's real story is -- which they regret when they learn she's an alien hunter, come to dissect Dick's brain with the help of her hulking son, Ned. Although Charlotte's called all the invitees to tell them the party's canceled, they begin showing up anyway, interrupting the skull-cutting process. Ned ties them all up in Mrs. Dubcek's basement. Sally, Harry, Tommy, Don, and the others run upstairs just as the FBI arrives to capture Charlotte, a well-known crackpot who has mistakenly thought any number of innocent citizens to be aliens. The Solomons remain unharmed and undetected... for now. | | Guest Stars: Dorian Gregory as Byron, Chuck Roy as Ned, Ian Lithgow as Leon, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Shay Astar as August, Kathy Bates (1) as Charlotte Everly | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Terry Turner, Bonnie Turner | | | |
| 94 :04x21 - Dick vs. Strudwick (May/11/1999) | | Dick's faculty nemesis, Dr. Vincent Strudwick, writes a physics book that's hailed as a work of genius. When Dick realizes that writing a better book would expose him as a superior alien being, he seeks another means of getting even, finally seizing on Strudwick's displeasure at learning that his teenage daughter Alissa is dating dreaded Solomon spawn Tommy. Dick manipulates Alissa to cause trouble between her and her father, and the conflict comes to a head at the taping of a TV panel show about Strudwick's book, which erupts into Jerry Springer-style fisticuffs. Meanwhile, Sally and Don, feeling 'lonely' since their breakup, find themselves succumbing to 'ex sex.' Also, once Albright befriends a group of misfit Nobel laureates who are in town to hail the publication of Strudwick's book, she can't shake them -- they've imprinted on her like a litter of helpless kittens. | | Guest Stars: E. J. Callahan as Sid, Jonathan Palmer as Herve, Alexander Folk as Jack, Jack Kutcher as Chester, Chad Einbinder as Rico, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, David Youse as Stage Manager | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: David M. Israel (1), Jim O'Doherty | | | |
| 95 :04x22 - Near Dick Experience (May/18/1999) | | When Sally, Harry, and Tommy narrowly miss being crushed by a chandelier at a restaurant, their near-death experience fills them with a new reverence for life -- and fills Dick with jealousy that he wasn't able to share this deep experience. The newly enlightened trio volunteers at a soup kitchen for the homeless, and Dick signs up for a wilderness hiking trip with Mary, hoping like the dickens that he'll lose his footing and find serenity via a near-death experience of his own. While Dick is trying desperately to have his own near-miss with death, the others learn that their new appreciation for every leaf, every bird, and every fellow man is fading rapidly with the passage of every hour. Sally, Tommy, and Harry have just about returned to being their blasé, uncaring selves just as Dick joins them on the roof, bursting with news about how he's just managed to escape death's clutches in a car accident. Now Dick's found a new love for life, but he's still the odd man out. | | Guest Stars: E. J. Callahan as Sid, Alexander Folk as Jack, Jack Kutcher as Chester, Allie McCall as Girl Scout, Chad Einbinder as Rico, Larisa Oleynik as Alissa, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Jonathan Palmer as Herve | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Jason Venokur, David Goetsch | | | |
| 96 :04x23 - Dick's Big Giant Headache (1) (May/25/1999) | | The Big Giant Head announces his plans to visit the Solomons in person to chastise them for their poor mission performance. Dick tells Sally to move back in, orders Harry to stop trying to father a baby with Vicki, and tries to prepare Mary for the arrival of his old 'college chum,' worrying privately that the supreme leader might not find her to have been a suitable use of his time. The family goes to the airport to meet the Big Giant Head (William Shatner), a drunken good-time charlie who's taken the name of 'Stone Phillips,' and who, in short order, moves in and takes over their lives. Dick quickly loses favor with Stone, who's unimpressed both by his choice of girlfriend and his leadership skills. Stone is, however, quite taken by everything about Sally, especially the length of her legs and the shape of her torso, and decides to make her the High Commander instead of Dick. Meanwhile, Harry keeps trying to avoid Vicki, but eventually he tells her that they need to cool the baby thing for awhile, and she runs away from him in tears. Also, although he's initially unenthusiastic, Tommy plans to attend the junior prom because it's so important to Alissa. Vicki is sad to hear all the prom talk -- she never got to go to hers, and she's felt the lack ever since. | | Guest Stars: Aaron Paul as Student, Rick Hall (1) as Limo Driver, Bill Chott as Cable Guy, Laura Wernette as Tasha, Amy Smallman as Nurse, William Shatner as Big Giant Head, Jan Hooks as Vicki, Jim Beaver (1) as Doug | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Bill Martin (1), Mike Schiff | | | |
| 97 :04x24 - Dick's Big Giant Headache (2) (May/25/1999) | | Reeling in the aftermath of his demotion, Dick has to get used to taking orders from everyone else in the crew -- even Harry -- a humiliating experience that makes it difficult for him to perform sexually. Even though she didn't want to believe the family's taunts about the reasons for her promotion, Sally finally realizes Stone only made her High Commander because of her looks. Stone makes a pass at Albright, who declines and tells Dick, who's psyched that Stone's changed his mind about Mary. Stone goes to the prom with Tommy and Alissa, where a drunken Stone dumps a punchbowl over Alissa's head, then serenades the promgoers -- including a bedazzled Vicki, who decided it was finally time to attend her junior prom -- with 'Close To You.' In the high school hallway, Stone encounters Vicki and 'beams' her up to his 'bachelor pod' for some lovin'. The next morning, Vicki turns up pregnant, and her pregnancy develops to full term in a matter of moments. Stone, who had been planning to make Earth his base of operations, gets the uncontrollable urge to flee once he learns of Vicki's pregnancy, leaving Sally in charge. The Solomons and Albright rush Vicki to the hospital, where the nurse proclaims, 'I can see the head. Boy, is that a big head...' | | Guest Stars: Aaron Paul as Student, Rick Hall (1) as Limo Driver, Bill Chott as Cable Guy, Laura Wernette as Tasha, Amy Smallman as Nurse, William Shatner as Big Giant Head, Jan Hooks as Vicki, Jim Beaver (1) as Doug | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Andrew Orenstein, Michael Glouberman | | | |
Season 5 | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| 103 :05x06 - Dick, Who's Coming to Dinner (Nov/23/1999) | | The Solomons learn about racism when they mistakenly attend a white power rally, then enter a poetry contest for elementary school students. | | Guest Stars: Larry Dorf as Waiter, Emily Osment as Dahlia, The Brookinaires as Church Choir, Larisa Oleynik as Alissa, David DeLuise as Bug, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Ian Lithgow as Leon, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Jane Morris as Mrs. Goltra | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Jason Venokur, David Goetsch | | | | | | | | | |
| 106 :05x09 - The Loud Solomon Family: A Dickumentary (Jan/11/2000) | | Albright gets a grant to make a documentary about the Solomons, whom she admits she has been studying for the past four years and has concluded are "the typical American family." Taking this as the ultimate tribute to the success of their secret mission, Dick orders everyone to cooperate, but when the action begins, all sorts of dramatic revelations occur. To cover up their true secret, the aliens find themselves inventing escalating cover stories: Sally is really a lesbian, Tommy wets his bed (but only because Dick beats him), Harry is an alcoholic, and Dick -- well, Dick is a posturing, authoritarian fool. Who'd have thought it? | | Guest Stars: Lisa K. Wyatt as Hannah, Theresa Mulligan as Triple A Lady, John A. Huoy as Rico, Larisa Oleynik as Alissa, Bob Morrisey as Mr. Malone | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Valerie Watson | | | |
| 107 :05x10 - Gwen, Larry, Dick and Mary (Jan/25/2000) | | When the aliens' washer and dryer break down, Harry, Tommy and Sally discover a whole new world at the laundromat: the men flirt outrageously, while Sally becomes the Judge Judy of laundry offences. Meanwhile, Mary suggests that she and Dick expand their social lives by finding another couple to spend time with, and when the other couple starts to avoid them, they assume it is because of Dick's bizarre behavior -- only to discover it's she they don't like. | | Guest Stars: Tom Kiesche as Large Man, Heidi Mark as Miranda, Steve Bean as Man, Jonathan Frakes as Larry, Jeanette O'Connor as Housewife, Jeff Lewis (1) as Young Man, Genie Francis as Gwen | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Christine Zander | | | | | | |
| 109 :05x12 - The Big Giant Head Returns (Feb/22/2000) | | William Shatner reprises his role as the Solomons' supreme leader, the Big Giant Head, who returns to Earth to claim his son. Even though he's startled at first that the 6-month-old doesn't resemble a warrior, Stone Phillips (the Big Giant Head's earthling name) quickly becomes a proud papa. He also falls head over heels for the infant's mom, Vicki, who has abandoned her trashy look. But she despises him and has no plans to give up his heir. This causes a frightened Dick (to find himself between a Stone and a hard place when ordered to either make Vicki love the leader--or die! | | Guest Stars: Doug Maida as Waiter, William Shatner as Big Giant Head, Jan Hooks as Vicki | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: David Sacks | | | | | | |
| 111 :05x14 - This Little Dick Goes to Market (Mar/14/2000) | | Dick decides that since the Solomons have come to Earth during the greatest bull market in history, he should get in on the action. But when Dick and Tommy realize they've only made a measly 35 percent on their investments, greed takes over and they take matters into their own hands. Meanwhile, Sally feels "emasculated" by (and Harry falls in lust with) Rutherford's newest rookie cop Janice -- the largest, strongest, toughest woman they've ever seen. | | Guest Stars: David A. Kimball as Vice President, Francis X. McCarthy (1) as President, Steven Pierce as Executive, Michelle N. Johnson (4) as Receptionist, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Joanie Laurer as Janice | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Dave Boerger | | | |
| 112 :05x15 - Youth is Wasted on the Dick (Mar/21/2000) | | Dick tries to experience youth for the first time by partying with his students during spring break, but his drunken antics are wasted on Mary, who is trying to relive a favorite, and more relaxing, family outing instead. Meanwhile, Sally, Harry, and Tommy become enthralled with a no-nonsense state criminal investigator, who takes over Officer Don's command post when the police set up a stake-out in the Solomon's attic to spy on a suspected video pirate in the neighborhood. | | Guest Stars: Pat Crawford Brown as Mrs. Larson, Shane Powers as Video Pirate, Ian Lithgow as Leon, Chris Hogan as Pitman, David DeLuise as Bug, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Elmarie Wendel as Mrs. Dubcek, Miguel Ferrer as Cop | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Nastaran Dibai, Jeffrey B. Hodes | | | |
| 113 :05x16 - Dick Strikes Out (Mar/28/2000) | | When a new chancellor shakes things up at Pendleton, Dick gets a striking idea and convinces his fellow faculty members to resign en masse. Meanwhile, Tommy takes a job at a pretzel stand at the mall, but finds that working for girlfriend Alissa isn't as much fun as he expected. | | Guest Stars: Regan Burns as Security Guard, Lee Shackleford as Customer #1, Virginia McMath as Customer #2, Larisa Oleynik as Alissa, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Ian Lithgow as Leon, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Lane Davies as Chancellor Duncan | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Aron Abrams, Gregory Thompson (1) | | | |
| 114 :05x17 - Shall We Dick? (Apr/18/2000) | | Over Mary's objections that she can't dance, Dick insists that together they can win the school Badger Day dance contest. Meanwhile, Sally and Alissa become pals -- and when they go clothes shopping together, Tommy's frustrated because Sally has a chance to see Alissa naked in the dressing room. Meanwhile, when Harry and Nina join the contest, it soon becomes clear to Dick that if he wants to win, he'll have to change partners to dance. A competitive Dick enters the Badger Day dance contest but when his tangle footed partner Mary quits in disgust, he commandeers Harry's date, the more nimble Nina, out from under his nose. Elsewhere, just when it appears that Sally will finally become friends with Alissa, she turns vindictive when Alissa accidentally walks in on Officer Don and sees him "au natural." | | Guest Stars: Larisa Oleynik as Alissa, Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Chris Hogan as Pitman, | Uncredited: Bill Martin (1) as Dance Judge #2 | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Bill Martin (1), Mike Schiff | | | |
| 115 :05x18 - Dick and Harry Fall Down a Hole (May/02/2000) | | Dick and Harry tumble down an abandoned airshaft, prompting a televised search-and-rescue headed by an eccentric Scottish expert known as "the Hole," who promptly clashes with an agitated Sally over his unorthodox rescue method. Meanwhile, down in their dark prison, an excitable Dick finally loses control while Zen-like Harry remains cool and calm. Above ground, Tommy tries to make a fast buck by hawking souvenirs of his trapped friends. | | Guest Stars: Bonita Friedericy as Tourist #2, Jim Hanna (1) as Tourist #1, Irene White as Tourist #3, Kevin Ruf as TV Reporter #2, Trisha Simmons as TV Reporter #1, Larisa Oleynik as Alissa, Alan Cumming as Angus "The Hole" McDuff | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Aron Abrams, Gregory Thompson (1) | | | |
| 116 :05x19 - Frankie Goes to Rutherford (May/09/2000) | | Frank, a former student of Mary's, returns for a lecture series and makes Dick (unaware Frank is gay) jealous. When Frank confesses he has a secret, Dick jumps to the conclusion that Frank is also an alien, "comes out" to Frank, and is soon cavorting in Rutherford's finest gay bar while thinking it is a hangout for other covert aliens. Meanwhile, the other Solomons plan a bank robbery, but fall prey to mutual suspicion. | | Guest Stars: Michael Dempsey (1) as Security Guard, Larry Cox as Taylor, Enrico Colantoni as Frank | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Will Forte, Gregg Mettler | | | | | | |
| 118 :05x21 - The Big Giant Head Returns Again (1) (May/23/2000) | | It's troubled relationship time in the season closer. The Solomons' supreme commander arrives with a troubled marriage to Vicki and a surprise for one of the gang: he's in love. Meanwhile, Harry summons up the courage to ask new police recruit Janice out on a real date; and Sally becomes convinced that Alissa is preparing to dump Tommy. | | Guest Stars: Scott Torrence as Student #1, Joanie Laurer as Janice, Shiloh Strong as Student #2, Paul Connor as Student #3, William Shatner as Big Giant Head / Stone Phillips, Jan Hooks as Vicki, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Jason Venokur, David Goetsch | | | |
| 119 :05x22 - The Big Giant Head Returns Again (2) (May/23/2000) | | It's troubled relationship time in the season closer. The Solomons' supreme commander arrives with a troubled marriage to Vicki and a surprise for one of the gang: he's in love. Meanwhile, Harry summons up the courage to ask new police recruit Janice out on a real date; and Sally becomes convinced that Alissa is preparing to dump Tommy. | | Guest Stars: Scott Torrence as Student #1, Joanie Laurer as Janice, Shiloh Strong as Student #2, Paul Connor as Student #3, William Shatner as Big Giant Head / Stone Phillips, Jan Hooks as Vicki, David DeLuise as Bug, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Jeffrey B. Hodes, Nastaran Dibai | | | |
Season 6 | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| 139 :06x20 - The Thing That Wouldn't Die (2) (May/22/2001) | | As a result of the manner in which Dick settled his dispute with Liam, the group is ordered home. Of course, there are always loose ends to tie up before a long space trip. Dick wants Mary to accompany them, and Sally decides to instill confidence in Don. They organize a farewell party, and Harry and Tommy decide to charge everything and not worry about being around to pay the bill. They even hire Elvis Costello to sing "Fly Me to the Moon." | | Guest Stars: Ileen Getz as Judith Draper, Chad Einbinder as Rico, David DeLuise as Bug, Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, Ian Lithgow as Leon, Chris Hogan as Pitman, Elvis Costello as Himself | Director: Terry Hughes
Writer: Christine Zander | | Songs: Elvis Costello -- Fly me to the moon | | | |
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