<-- Previous EpisodeNext Episode -->

Action: Mr. Dragon Goes To Washington

Peter tries to clean up his image. Adam gets a new hotshot agent.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 1x5
Production Number: 108
Airdate: Thursday October 21st, 1999

Director: Danny Leiner
Writer: Ron Zimmerman

Guest Stars
Amy AquinoAmy Aquino
As Connie Hunt
Lee ArenbergLee Arenberg
As Bobby G.
Rene AshtonRene Ashton
As Remi Rey
Steve TomSteve Tom
As Senator
Steven GilbornSteven Gilborn
As Irwin Klein
Leah RowanLeah Rowan
As Waitress
Jeff WagnerJeff Wagner
As Marty
Felicity MarsFelicity Mars
As Irwin's Secretary
Main Cast
Jay MohrJay Mohr
As Peter Dragon
Illeana DouglasIlleana Douglas
As Wendy Ward
Jarrad PaulJarrad Paul
As Adam Rafkin
Jack PlotnickJack Plotnick
As Stuart Glazer
Buddy HackettBuddy Hackett
As Uncle Lonnie
Episode Quotes
Peter Dragon testifying at the U.S. Senate Hearing on Media Violence. Senator Powell presiding; Peter accompanied by Wendy and Stuart, one to either side.
Peter: In closing, Senator, let me state that by showing the horrors of brutality, we in Hollywood hope that we're helping to foster tolerance. People may not enjoy my movies, but, it is the freedom to make these movies that makes this such a great nation.
Senator: That's a big pile of bull-pucky Mr. Dragon. Now how can you sit there in that $3000 suit and seriously tell this committee that your films are not excessively violent?
Peter: With all due respect, Senator, my films simply reflect the prevaling culture. I'm not an advocate of violence; I never have been. I'm merely chronicaling events that happen to thousands of Americans every day.
Senator: Oh really? In your movie, entitled Blood Mother, you portray a young woman who has sexual relations with her domestic staff, kills them, and then cannibalizes their bodies. Is this the kind of thing that Americans experience on a daily basis?
Peter: If they work for my ex-wife, yes. (chuckles) Lighten Up. Come On. The reporters are laughing (looks to audience behind) I thought they were laughing. (sheepish) I'm sorry.
Senator: You would be wise, Mr. Dragon, to show a little respect! Your entire industry is under very close scrutiny now not only in matters of violence but in matters of di-versity [sic].
Peter: And we in Hollywood are attuned to your concerns, Senator.
Peter: (to Stuart) Stuart... (who passes a report very quickly) Rela-a-x-x.
Peter: Listen to these numbers. (quoting) In 1987, sir, 95% of all on-screen homicidal maniacs were played by white males, whereas, last year, 50% of on-screen homicidal maniacs were played by blacks, women, and Puerto Ricans. I, sir, am very proud of those numbers and that progress.
Senator: Uh-huh. Mr. Dragon, you have a young daughter, do you not?
Peter: Let's not go there.
Senator: Her name is Georgia. She's about 10 years old, I believe.
Peter: Don't do this.
Senator: Has little Georgia seen your film entitled Rip Cord...
Peter: She can't get in it, Senator, it's rated "R".
Senator: (voice rising to crescendo) ...which contains 357 acts of violence, 175 profanities, and 4 scenes of Lesbian Sex! She proud of her daddy for that one?
Wendy: (whisper) Look, I think we should just go!
Senator: How can you look that sweet little girl in the eye?
Peter: (snide - barely subdued anger) I manage. I never voted to subsidize the growing of tobacco while turning my back on food programs for starving kids. I've never vetoed a gun control bill. All my guns are FAKE, Senator. I've never rushed to the defense of Kuwaiti oil fields while ignoring genocide in Africa, because big oil companies that line your fat pockets aren't concerned with black Africa. Those are all productions of YOUR company, Senator, this company right here!
Senator: Now you are perilously close to being cited for contempt, Mr. Dragon!
Peter: I'm already in contempt! I'm in contempt of all you old whores and hypocrites! At least I'm giving the American people what they want!
Senator: And just exactly what is it that Y-E-W [sic] think THEY want?
Peter: I'll tell Y-E-W [sic] exactly what they want, Senator.
They want chase scenes and car crashes.
They want firm breasts and tight-assed Latino men.
They want their cowboys to be strong and silent.
They want the cops to bend the rules to get the job done.
They want the boy to get the girl.
They want the alien to be killed, (pause) unless he's cute.
They want the good guy to win.
They want the bad guy to die, hopefully in the biggest explosion that budget will allow.
But most importantly, Senator, they want to walk into a theater and for 90 minutes forget the fucking mess that you have left of this nation.
Senator: You. Sir. ARE A MALIGNANCY on America!
Peter: I'm a malignancy?!? Well, if I'm a malignancy, and my movies are cancer, I hope the whole damn country gets cancer! How's that?

Missing Information
Click here to add Episode Notes
Click here to add Music
Click here to add Episode Goofs
Click here to add Cultural References
Click here to add Episode References
Click here to add Analysis