Season 3

43 :03x01 - The Vacation Goo

Francine longs for a true family vacation after she discovers Stan has been implanting them with false memories of great vacations for years thanks to goo tanks from the CIA.

When Stan takes the family on a cruise Francine still doesn't believe it's real so she jumps overboard. After the Smiths along with cruise employee, Becky, rescue Francine they become marooned on seemingly deserted island.
Guest Stars: Elizabeth Banks as Becky Arangino | James Patrick Stuart as Eddie | Chris Diamantopoulos as Senor Hidalgo | Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein | Mike Barker (1) as Jerry | Patrick Bristow as Various | John DiMaggio as Various | Jeff Fischer as Jeff Fischer | Matt McKenna as Various | Daisuke Suzuki as Toshi Hirano | Eddie Kaye Thomas as Barry Robinson
Director: Albert Calleros

44 :03x02 - Meter Made

After Stan punches a male meter maid during a disagreement over a parking ticket, a judge sentences him to two weeks of community service, as a meter maid. However Stan & Francine find the lifestyle too seductive.

Meanwhile, Hayley poses in the nude for an art class, where one of the artists turns out to be Roger and in turns creates a portrait of Hayley that Steve enjoys.
Guest Stars: Forest Whitaker as Ron Turlington | Mike Barker (1) as Terry Bates | Chuck White | Meter Maid | Mike Rowe as Meter Maid | Shawn Michael Howard as Belmonpan | Eric Edwards as Bagel Shop Owner | Mike Henry (1) as Various | Brian Lally as Art Teacher | Rick Podell as Various | Molly Shannon as Christie White | Robby Takac as Various
Director: Bob Bowen
Writer: Dan Vebber
Songs: Antonio Vivaldi -- "Spring"

45 :03x03 - Dope and Faith

Stan finds the perfect guy to be friends with except for one small detail. Brett is an atheist, so Stan tries anything he can to get Brett to convert.

Meanwhile, to prank Steve, Roger makes him believe he has been accepted in Hogwarts Wizard's School which in reality is a crack house.
Guest Stars: Martin Mull as Father Donovan | Eartha Kitt as Fortune Teller | Jay Thomas as Brett Morris | Jocko Sims as Ice Pick | Eric Stonestreet as Short Order Cook (Voice Only) | Mike Barker (1) as Terry Bates | Scientist | Paget Brewster as Michelle Morris | Rolando Molina as Mex | Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock
Director: Caleb Meurer
Songs: Night Ranger -- Sister Christian

46 :03x04 - Big Trouble in Little Langley

After the lastest visit by Francine's adoptive parents, he decided he must find her real parents.
Guest Stars: Tzi Ma as Bah Bah Ling | Amy Hill as Mah Mah Ling | Teresa Rodriguez as Lindsay Coolidge | Jeff Perry as Nicolas Dawson | Holland Taylor as Cassandra Dawson | Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein | Michael Dunn (2) as Paramedic | Fred Tatasciore as Various | Daisuke Suzuki as Toshi Hirano | Eddie Kaye Thomas as Barry Robinson
Director: John Aoshima

47 :03x05 - Haylias

Stan finally must deal with the fact that as a little girl, Hayley was brainwashed and trained as a secret CIA sleeper agent. He activates her to keep her from boarding a plane to France but unless he disables her within a couple of days, she will try (and most likely succeed) to kill him.

Meanwhile, after being inspired by 70s detective shows, Roger and Steve create detective personas, Wheels & the Legman.
Guest Stars: John Ennis as Tex | Jeff Fischer as Jeff Fischer | Ying Liu as Female Announcer | Karen Maruyama as Woman | Rolando Molina as Mex | Martin Mull as Father Donovan | Niecy Nash as Angel | André Sogliuzzo as Dill | Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock | Fred Tatasciore as Bill Elliot | Senator
Director: Brent Woods

48 :03x06 - 42-Year-Old Virgin

Stan reluctantly reveals he has never actually killed anyone since he started working at the CIA, so his poker friends, along with Roger, help him make his first kill.
Guest Stars: Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock | Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein | Eddie Kaye Thomas as Barry Robinson | Timothy Taule as Blonde Spy | Daisuke Suzuki as Toshi Hirano | Don Lake as Bad Larry | Erik Durbin as Randy | Zargon Cult Member #2 | Victor Raider-Wexler as Ray | Matt McKenna as Zargon Cult Leader | Mike Barker (1) as Mugger | Zargon Cult Member #1 | Cashier | Security Guard | Maria Bamford as Randy's Mother | André Sogliuzzo as Spy | Young Father
Director: Pam Cooke

49 :03x07 - Surro-Gate

Stan puts his foot down on Greg and Terry having a baby, but despite that unknown to Stan, Francine agrees to be Greg & Terry's surrogate.

Meanwhile, after Steve and Roger send Klaus and fishbowl down a water slide, Klaus vows revenge.
Guest Stars: Mike Barker (1) as Terry Bates | Erik Durbin as Various | Leisha Hailey as Lily | Mike Henry (1) as Gang Leader | Jane Lynch as Al | Brian Lally as Nebraska Man
Director: Tim Parsons
Writer: Erik Durbin

50 :03x08 - The Most Adequate Christmas Ever

With Stan's dissatisfaction of the family's Christmas decoration, he takes them out in the dead of winter to find a more adequate Christmas tree.

Leaving the family in the car Stan heads out alone only to be crushed by the perfect tree. Having a near death experience he spends time in limbo in court so they can decide if he should get a second chance at life.

With no luck in court, he kidnaps his lawyer and heads to God's house to confront the only person who can save himself & his family.
Guest Stars: Paget Brewster as Michelle | Tim Dadabo as Waiter | Mike Barker (1) as Jesus | Chris Diamantopoulos as Various | John DiMaggio as Bouncer | The Dove | Erik Durbin as Various | Steve Hely as Jim Henson | Shawn Michael Howard as Homeless Man | Jane Lynch as ObGyn Doctor | Peter MacKenzie as Various | Matt McKenna as Various | J.K. Simmons as The Judge
Director: John Aoshima

51 :03x09 - Frannie 911

Stan finally convinces Francine to stop enabling and protecting Roger when he acts like a brat.
Roger makes an attempt to change his ways, even if it kills him.

Meanwhile, Klaus and Hayley play a game of truth or dare while and Steve decides he wants to become a backup dancer.
Guest Stars: Patton Oswalt as Ticket Taker
Director: Joe Daniello
Writer: Brian Boyle
Songs: Little River Band -- “Cool Change”

52 :03x10 - Tearjerker

In this James Bond parody, Agent Stan Smith must determine why Hollywood's biggest stars are intentionally making horrible movies with the worst director around, Tchochkie Schmear (Klaus).

The search leads him to Tearjerker (Roger) and with the help of Sexpun T'Come (Francine), they will thwart his diabolical plans to bring the world to tears.
Guest Stars: Mike Barker (1) as Mannie | Chuck White | Warren Derosa as Unknown | Erik Durbin as Various | Seth Green as Matthew McConaughey | David Hemingson as Bartender | Don LaFontaine as Himself | Matt McKenna as Captain Monte | Mr. Stashwick | Ivana Milicevic as Austrian Woman | Enn Reitel as British Spy | André Sogliuzzo as Johnny Depp | Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock | Jill Talley as Cocktail Waitress | Flight Attendant | Oscar's Mother | Charles White as Professor
Director: Albert Calleros
Songs: Night Ranger -- Rock In America (You Can Still)

53 :03x11 - Oedipal Panties

After her latest break up, Stan's mother come to cry on his shoulder. Francine & Roger attempt to break Stan's unnatural connection he has with his mother while trying to determine why Stan's mother never makes it past the third date.

Meanwhile, after holding Klaus Steve comes down with a case of Ick.
Guest Stars: Swoosie Kurtz as Betty Smith | Erik Durbin as Various | David Hemingson as Hercules | Ivana Milicevic as Various | André Sogliuzzo as Various
Director: Rodney Clouden

54 :03x12 - Widowmaker

When Stan shares too much with Francine, she can't handle it, especially when the truth comes out about what happened to the husband of her friend Julie.

Meanwhile, Steve has a hard time recovering after Hayley kills the queen bee he used for his science project.
Guest Stars: Sandra Bernhard as Woman on Bike | Christen Sussin as Julie
Director: Bob Bowen

55 :03x13 - Red October Sky

Former KGB agent, Sergei Kruglov, moves in next door to The Smiths in an attempt to make peace with Stan. However, once Sergei volunteers to help Steve with his model rocket, his true motives are revealed.

Meanwhile, Roger & Klaus travel around Europe.
Guest Stars: Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein | Travis Bowe as Various | Steve Hely as Jim Henson | Kevin Michael Richardson as Principal Brian Lewis | Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock | Daisuke Suzuki as Toshi Hirano | Eddie Kaye Thomas as Barry Robinson | Penelope Fortier as Airport Announcer
Director: Caleb Meurer
Writer: Steve Hely

56 :03x14 - Office Spaceman

After Stan finds out Roger has been selling photos of himself to the local paper, the CIA doubles their efforts in tracking him down. They ultimately hire Roger himself when it was discovered he was the one who took the photos.

Meanwhile, Hayley & Steve help Francine come to terms with being left-handed.
Guest Stars: Raven-Symone as Katie | J. Lee as Various | Mike Barker (1) as Sanders | Mike Henry (1) as Jackson | Amy Hill as Mah Mah Ling | David Koechner as Dick Reynolds | Melissa Peterman as Various | Victor Raider-Wexler as Ray | Danny Smith (1) as Various | Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock
Director: Brent Woods

57 :03x15 - Stanny Slickers II: The Legend of Ollie's Gold

After a near death experience, Stan once again decided to search for Ollie North's gold which he believes is buried near their house.

Meanwhile, after reading about a sexual harassment settlement in the paper Roger bets Klaus he get a higher amount so he goes to work only to discover no one wants to.
Guest Stars: Seth MacFarlane as Greg Corbin | Mike Barker (1) as Terry Bates | Chuck White | Travis Bowe as Paramedic | Paget Brewster as Michelle | Chris Diamantopoulos as Hanson Foam Man | Erik Durbin as Langley Falls Town Geologist | Richard Gant as Firefighter | Skyler Gisondo as Matty Moyer | Shawn Michael Howard as Various | Matt McKenna as Various | Raven-Symone as Woman (in Stan's future Smithsonian exhibit)
Director: Pam Cooke
Writer: Erik Sommers
Songs: 2 Live Crew -- Me So Horny

58 :03x16 - Spring Break-Up

Feeling unappreciated by Francine, Stan befriends a girl at the Spring Break Roger throws at the Smith home.

Meanwhile, Steve tries to lose his virginity to Carmen Selectra.
Guest Stars: Curtis Armstrong as Schmuley “Snot” Lonstein | Mike Barker (1) as Various | Travis Bowe as Various | Paget Brewster as Carmen Selectra | Erik Durbin as Various | Ari Graynor as Various | Leisha Hailey as Various | Amy Hill as Mah Mah Ling | Michelle Krusiec as Various | Laura McCreary as Various | Matt McKenna as Various | Missi Pyle as Various | Daisuke Suzuki as Toshi Hirano | Eddie Kaye Thomas as Barry Robinson | Robert Tinkler as Various
Director: Albert Calleros
Classification: Animation
Genre: Adult Cartoons | Comedy
Status: Returning Series
Network: tbs ( USA)
Airs: Mondays at 08:30 pm
Runtime: 30 Minutes
Premiere: February 06, 2005
Episode Order: 20
This guide is currently edited by:
KYLEd (Challenge)