Stan rigs the school election so Steve can become school president so he can impress the most popular girl in school, Lisa Silver.
Meanwhile, after Francine cuts off Roger's supply of junk food, he agrees to write Hayley's term papers if he continues to supply his fix.
After a deadly virus scare, Francine realizes she hasn't much purpose in her life but after meeting Barb Hansen, wants to become a real estate agent.
Stan however becomes threatened once Francine starts to make more money than he does.
Meanwhile, Steve strives to become the next video mogul by creating Girls Gone Wild type videos and Hayley opens a homeless shelter.
Hayley finally moves out to be with Jeff without realizing Jeff lives in his van so she is forced to become a stripper to make ends meet.
Meanwhile, Steve convinces Roger to pretend to be his sister the burn victim to gain the attention of a girl.
After forgetting his anniversary, Stan arranges to have the last 20 hours of Francine's memory erased, but accidentally erases the last 20 years, making Francine think she's a wild and carefree teenager from 1985.
Meanwhile, Steve asks out Lindsay Coolidge who agrees only if Steve finds someone to date her ugly-as-sin friend.
When Roger slips into a coma after being told off by Stan, the Smiths think he's dead and dispose of his body. While the family copes with their "loss," Roger awakens in a landfill and journeys home, finding himself being pursued by the CIA.
Meanwhile, Francine has a crisis of faith after Father Donovan says he won't go to heaven.
When Stan learns his new neighbors are Iranian, he immediately suspects that they are terrorists.
Meanwhile, Roger tries to discover any hidden alien powers he may have while Steve is left at the mercy of the Scout Rangers.
After the deacon of the church suddenly dies, Stan and his rival Chuck White are both up for the job.
However, Stan's appointment is in danger when they discover Roger used his alien reproductive juices to make the potato salad they fed to the congregation. Not to mention, Steve winds up expecting Roger's 'baby'.
After an argument between Bullock & Hayley, Stan demands she apologize but she refuses.
Later when Stan goes to Bullocks house he discovers Hayley there, to his horror, he realizes they have spent the night together but he is reluctant to say anything since he is up for a promotion.
Meanwhile, Steve makes prank calls after finding Dick Cheney's blackberry.
Songs: Crowded House
-- Don't Dream, It's Over, Oingo Boingo's -- Little Girls, Unknown -- Under Paris Skies (Sous le ciel de Paris)
When the school wants Steve to take a sex-ed class, Stan decides to teach Steve himself about the birds and the bees and the evils of masturbation. However, after a accident involving his crotch, Stan becomes addicted to applying ointment.
Meanwhile, after Hayley chastises him for being lazy, Roger opens a bar in the attic.
Songs: Carmina Burana -- O Fortuna
Stan is ashamed of Steve's geekiness but realizes he needs his help to catch a cyber-terrorist.
Meanwhile, Roger tries to find a suitable job that will allow him to interact with humans.
Songs: Looper -- Mondo '77
After the death of Grandpa Smith and the sudden appearance of Jack Smith, Stan is forced to reveal the truth of who his father really is, a spy.
Meanwhile, Steve & Snot compete for the affections of his fake grandfather's elderly friend.
In part one, Stan stands in for Jay Leno at a benefit for Deputy Director Bullock, however after insulting him, Stan and his family are sent to Saudi Arabia.
Things don't go as planned until Stan learns how things are run in Saudi Arabia.
Songs: Clash -- Rock the Casbah
In the conclusion, after renouncing their American citizenship, the Smiths are arrested for various offenses and sentenced to stoning.
Meanwhile, Roger regales a Saudi prince with tales of Beverly Hills 90210 & Melrose Place.
After a meeting of the The National Gun Association at their house, Hayley accidentally shoots Stan, paralyzing him.
Meanwhile, after Steve eats Roger's cookie, he makes Steve think he's adopted.
Steve's story about a drunken Roger becomes a bestselling children's book, but the fame goes to his head after Stan and Francine exploit him and Steve's new agent convinces him to divorce his parents.
Meanwhile, Francine wants Beauregard LaFontaine to do her hair.
Looking for an escape from her weekly routine, Francine joins the Ladybugs. All she has to do is pretend to be cheating on Stan.
Meanwhile, Stan & Roger compete for the affections of a lap dog named Fussy.
Roger believes Stan's life is a breeze so they agree to switch responsibilities.
Songs: Sonny and Cher -- I Got You Babe
Francine wants Stan to invest in her Muffin Kiosk at the mall.
Meanwhile, Klaus becomes human, Roger adopts a pet, Hayley hooks up with extreme environmentalists & Steve believes he's a werewolf.
Songs: Flavor Flav
-- 911 is a Joke, Earth, Wind, and Fire. -- September
Stan looks forward to Francine's reunion because she was the homecoming queen. However, when it's discovered Francine didn't actually win, Stan dumps her to spend the reunion with the true queen.
Meanwhile, a pizza delivery man teaches Steve and Roger about love and forgiveness.
The Look of Love -- ABC, INXS
-- Never Tear Us Apart
After a bachelor party in Atlantic City, a drunk Stan & Roger share an intimate moment that they think will bond them but Stan just wants to forget the whole thing.
Meanwhile, Steve and Hayley team up to break up a couple.
Edie Brickell -- Circle, Queen
-- Don't Stop Me Now, Pet Shop Boys
-- West End Girls
Hayley's film project portrays Francine has a pathetic housewife so she becomes a surgeon, or so she believes.
However, she is spotted at the hospital by the Handicapped Mafia who hire her as their doctor.
Meanwhile, Stan gives Steve experimental drugs from the CIA labs which cause him to sprout boobs which makes him popular with the guys.
Songs: Def Leppard -- Pour Some Sugar On Me
Stan is disappointed when Steve is no longer interested in Stan's job but is thrilled when Steve's friend Barry takes a liking to him.
However, Stan convinces Barry not to take his 'vitamins' which turns Barry into a cold calculating madman.
Meanwhile, Roger joins a fraternity at Hayley's college.
Francine decided the one thing she wants for her birthday is to kill George Clooney.
Meanwhile, Roger uses child labor to work on his vineyard in the backyard and Hayley succumbs to an illness.
Songs: Seth MacFarlane
-- I've Got You Under My Skin, Jewel -- Who Will Save Your Soul
Wanting a camp experience similar to his, Stan sends Steve to the only camp he can find. The problem is it's a refugee camp in Africa.
Meanwhile, Roger and Francine pose as a married couple, but things go wrong when they can't decide on a back story.
When Stan reacts negatively to Steve's new girlfriend Debbie, he eventually develops an eating disorder.
Meanwhile, during their breakup, Roger sets his eyes on Debbie.
Songs: Let's Hear it for the Boy -- Deniece Williams
Stan looses his confidence after a car salesman bests him several times.
Meanwhile, Roger helps Steve & his friends get to second base by creating a drive in theater.
After Stan gets passed up to speak at the Republican National Convention he jumps at the chance when The Log Cabin Republicans ask him to speak at their convention after they see his intimate portrayal of Lincoln in his one man play.
After Francine wishes her marriage was a little more exciting, Stan takes up street racing.
Meanwhile, after the latest breakup with Hayley, Jeff becomes involved in Steve's on-line game.
When Klaus reveals how to kill Steve's character Hayley teams up with Jeff to revive him within the game.
Songs: Whitesnake -- Here I Go Again, Toto -- I Won't Hold You Back
Steve starts to spend more time with Debbie, causing Francine to become jealous and longing for another baby but when Stan puts a kibosh on impregnating her she decides to go over his head and get his supply at the CIA sperm bank.
Meanwhile, Roger becomes the professor of Hayley's class at Groff Community College and inspires his students.
Some time in the future, an elderly human Klaus recounts a story for his grandson, of Stan and his wintertime hobby which he kept secret from Francine for 20 years.
Meanwhile, Steve, Snot, Barry & Toshi receive a mail order Russian bride and must decide who will have the privilege of marrying her.
With the help of Roger, Steve runs away to New York City where their intelligence can be appreciated.
Meanwhile, a family of squirrels reenact scenes from What's Eating Gilbert Grape
After being disillusioned with Christmas thanks to political correctness, the Ghost of Christmas past returns Stan to a simpler time, but Stan alters the past eliminating Christmas and America.
Meanwhile, Roger finds the disco cassette tape that falls from Stan's jacket and proceeds to 'invent' the disco era.
Songs: Van McCoy and the Soul City Symphony -- The Hustle
After winning a CIA essay contest George Bush comes to dinner at the Smiths house but thanks to Roger, falls off the wagon.
Meanwhile, Steve & Roger believe they've tracked down Osama bin Laden and he's somewhere in Langley Falls.
Stan realizes his dream of producing his line of holiday themed teddy bears but when the demands become to high, he must rely on illegal immigrants much to the disgust of Hayley.
Meanwhile, Steve gets kicked out of his own band after Roger becomes the drummer.
When Roger starts to feel unappreciated by Steve, he finds a 9 year old who's awe struck at the though of his very own alien, however, when Henry becomes abusive, Roger doesn't know how to get out of the relationship.
Meanwhile, Stan and Francine attempt to save their favorite soft drink, Mr. Pibb from being discontinued.
Songs: G. Love & Special Sauce -- Cold Beverage
Steve discovers a hidden conspiracy when he chooses George Washington Carver for his Black History Month essay.
Meanwhile, Roger challenges Hayley to a game of Jenga.
After looking like a fool in front of his family, instead of admitting his mistake, Stan allows his family to believe it's the end of the world and takes them to live in the woods.
After several late nights at the CIA, Stan decided to set Bullock up on a blind date with one of Francine's friends.
The night doesn't go as planned, when she winds up dead, and instead of taking the chance of Francine saying the words he most hates "I told you so", Stan makes Francine believe she killed her friend.
Meanwhile, after being ridiculed for having no nose, Roger finds the perfect appendage in the guise of Kevin Bacon.
Stan is mortified by how many sexual partners Francine had before him so in order to get his moral up, Francine decided to let Stan sleep with another woman.
Stan insists he can't cheat on Francine so she divorces him.
He meets another woman and to Francine's shock marries her.
Meanwhile, Steve becomes addicted to Hayley's energy drink Cougarboost.
Stan uses CIA tech on the neighbors and finds out he is not as beloved as he believes so he throws a block party but his plans backfire.
Horrified that he's being criticized at every turn, he has the entire neighborhood evicted from their homes.
Meanwhile, Roger uses Steve as a tool to extort money from.
In an attempt to man up Steve, Stan takes him, along with Snot, Toshi & Barry on a cattle drive.
Meanwhile, Roger pits Hayley & Francine against each other to find out who's the prettiest girl in the house.
In order to get Jeff out of his life, Stan & Roger return him to Florida to face criminal charges he has pending. However, after meeting Jeff's father, Stan begins to have second thoughts.
Meanwhile, Steve obtains a second sight after an electrical shock.
Francine longs for a true family vacation after she discovers Stan has been implanting them with false memories of great vacations for years thanks to goo tanks from the CIA.
When Stan takes the family on a cruise Francine still doesn't believe it's real so she jumps overboard. After the Smiths along with cruise employee, Becky, rescue Francine they become marooned on seemingly deserted island.
After Stan punches a male meter maid during a disagreement over a parking ticket, a judge sentences him to two weeks of community service, as a meter maid. However Stan & Francine find the lifestyle too seductive.
Meanwhile, Hayley poses in the nude for an art class, where one of the artists turns out to be Roger and in turns creates a portrait of Hayley that Steve enjoys.
Songs: Antonio Vivaldi -- "Spring"
Stan finds the perfect guy to be friends with except for one small detail. Brett is an atheist, so Stan tries anything he can to get Brett to convert.
Meanwhile, to prank Steve, Roger makes him believe he has been accepted in Hogwarts Wizard's School which in reality is a crack house.
After the lastest visit by Francine's adoptive parents, he decided he must find her real parents.
Stan finally must deal with the fact that as a little girl, Hayley was brainwashed and trained as a secret CIA sleeper agent. He activates her to keep her from boarding a plane to France but unless he disables her within a couple of days, she will try (and most likely succeed) to kill him.
Meanwhile, after being inspired by 70s detective shows, Roger and Steve create detective personas, Wheels & the Legman.
Stan reluctantly reveals he has never actually killed anyone since he started working at the CIA, so his poker friends, along with Roger, help him make his first kill.
Stan puts his foot down on Greg and Terry having a baby, but despite that unknown to Stan, Francine agrees to be Greg & Terry's surrogate.
Meanwhile, after Steve and Roger send Klaus and fishbowl down a water slide, Klaus vows revenge.
With Stan's dissatisfaction of the family's Christmas decoration, he takes them out in the dead of winter to find a more adequate Christmas tree.
Leaving the family in the car Stan heads out alone only to be crushed by the perfect tree. Having a near death experience he spends time in limbo in court so they can decide if he should get a second chance at life.
With no luck in court, he kidnaps his lawyer and heads to God's house to confront the only person who can save himself & his family.
Stan finally convinces Francine to stop enabling and protecting Roger when he acts like a brat.
Roger makes an attempt to change his ways, even if it kills him.
Meanwhile, Klaus and Hayley play a game of truth or dare while and Steve decides he wants to become a backup dancer.
Songs: Little River Band -- “Cool Change”
In this James Bond parody, Agent Stan Smith must determine why Hollywood's biggest stars are intentionally making horrible movies with the worst director around, Tchochkie Schmear (Klaus).
The search leads him to Tearjerker (Roger) and with the help of Sexpun T'Come (Francine), they will thwart his diabolical plans to bring the world to tears.
Songs: Night Ranger -- Rock In America (You Can Still)
After her latest break up, Stan's mother come to cry on his shoulder. Francine & Roger attempt to break Stan's unnatural connection he has with his mother while trying to determine why Stan's mother never makes it past the third date.
Meanwhile, after holding Klaus Steve comes down with a case of Ick.
When Stan shares too much with Francine, she can't handle it, especially when the truth comes out about what happened to the husband of her friend Julie.
Meanwhile, Steve has a hard time recovering after Hayley kills the queen bee he used for his science project.
Former KGB agent, Sergei Kruglov, moves in next door to The Smiths in an attempt to make peace with Stan. However, once Sergei volunteers to help Steve with his model rocket, his true motives are revealed.
Meanwhile, Roger & Klaus travel around Europe.
After Stan finds out Roger has been selling photos of himself to the local paper, the CIA doubles their efforts in tracking him down. They ultimately hire Roger himself when it was discovered he was the one who took the photos.
Meanwhile, Hayley & Steve help Francine come to terms with being left-handed.
After a near death experience, Stan once again decided to search for Ollie North's gold which he believes is buried near their house.
Meanwhile, after reading about a sexual harassment settlement in the paper Roger bets Klaus he get a higher amount so he goes to work only to discover no one wants to.
Feeling unappreciated by Francine, Stan befriends a girl at the Spring Break Roger throws at the Smith home.
Meanwhile, Steve tries to lose his virginity to Carmen Selectra.
After Steve proclaims he has gotten his first pubic hair, Stan & Francine realize to their horror that they'll have to go through another round of puberty so they hatch a plan, thanks to the CIA lab, to rush Steve through it as fast as they can.
Meanwhile, Roger prepares for his birthday after everyone else forgets about it.
Songs: The Thompson Twins -- If You Were Here
After his credit card is denied, Roger seeks revenge on whoever stole his identity.
Meanwhile, the Smith family becomes addicted to the game Simon.
Francine insists Stan stop being at Bullocks beck and call before they go on a romantic weekend.
Meanwhile, Roger starts acting out when he's not the center of attention any longer.
After finding out Francine was engaged before, he doubts he was the one she was meant to be with so he hatches a plan that will help her decide.
Meanwhile, Steve befriends an injured cat but the feeling is not mutual.
Songs: Peabo Bryson -- I'm So Into You, Fascinoma -- I'm Walking This Road Because You Stole My Car
When Steve's girlfriend Debbie loses the school's presidential race due to an Internet slam page, he vows to get those responsible.
However, after his revenge is hatched Steve finds out the truth and who his true friends are.
Songs: Joy Division -- Love Will Tear Us Apart
After Jeff and Hayley's latest break up, she starts to date Stan's body double.
Meanwhile Steve & Roger embark their 'Summer of Exotic Adventure' involving chicken counting and cock fighting.
After Stan steals Roger's idea of the CIA using a telethon to raise money, just like Jerry Lewis did years ago, Roger becomes the Phantom and attempts to ruin the event.
However things go awry when a terrorist attempts to destroy the building and everyone in it.
After Steve is diagnosed with scoliosis and is forced to wear a back brace, Stan reveals he is actually bald.
Meanwhile, Roger takes Francine and Hayley to Chimdale Spa and get caught up in a mystery of missing nuts.
When Dick gives Stan pills that help him not sleep he uses the extra time to perfect the Beat Man video game while Francine becomes a marine biologist and tracks the Colossal Squid.
Meanwhile, Roger & Steve team up to write the perfect pron movie script.
The Smiths find out that Roger has been cheating on them with several other families.
Meanwhile, Klaus buys the family tickets to see The Fabulous Thunderbirds.
When Langley Falls bans trans fats, Stan begins frequenting a store located outside of town and smuggles it in although when Turlington becomes suspicious, Stan enlists the help of Steve.
Meanwhile, Klaus needs Roger's help to gain access to an inheritance.
Songs: Michael Bolton -- How Am I Supposed to Live Without You
After Stan refuses to pick up Roger's grenadine at the grocery store, Roger gets revenge by becoming the head of the Homeowner’s Association.
Steve's plans for a father/son bike race go awry when Stan reveals he can't ride a bike and blames his father for it.
Steve attempt to reunite Jack & Stan before Jack is sentenced for his crimes.
Meanwhile, Hayley becomes an intern for Roger at his attic bar for college credit.
Songs: Queen -- Bicycle Race
Steve's rival for Debbie's attention, Etan Cohen, is having his Bar Mitzvah to which Steve was not invited.
To get back at Etan for stealing his girl, he plans to rob his event.
Stan & Jim get kidnapped on a mission and Francine fears he may be gone for good. Once Stan returns he lets it slip that he has a back up wife if anything were to happen to Francine. Furious Francine picks Jim to be her back up husband and things get out of hand when Jim wants Francine for himself.
Meanwhile, Steve and Roger reprise their roles as "Wheels and the Legman" and attempt to find Hayley's ipod.
Stan & Steve attempt to bond on a road trip to find a door for Stan's Delorean.
Meanwhile, Roger, Francine & Hayley attempt to have an unconventional adventure of their own.
Steve tries to impress Stan by joining the football team but when Stan cuts him, to get even, Roger and Steve try to get Stan to cry by making him lose the game.
Meanwhile, Francine discovers Hayley is her main rival at the pie contest at the Langley County Fair.
Finally getting tired of Stan's taunts about how useless he is, Roger tells him that he holds the key to Earth's fate.
Meanwhile, Toshi challenges Steve to a hot dog eating contest.
Terry's father, Tank Bates, comes to town and to everyone's surprise does not know Terry is gay.
Too afraid to tell him, Terry tells hid dad Francine is his girlfriend and Stan & Greg live across the street.
Meanwhile, Roger is selling alcohol to high school students which sends Steve on a drunken bender involving a very ugly girl.
Feeling ostracized because he's always at home, Stan finally goes out with the guys from work only to discover that a night out isn't what he expected.
Meanwhile, Hayley & Roger compete to see which is the most attractive.
Songs: Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock -- It Takes Two
Steve is chosen to sing the National Anthem but his voice does not meet up with Stan's approval. Stan believes the only way to sing the song is to experience war so Stan takes Steve to a Vietnam War reenactment.
Meanwhile, Roger is adamant he will watch a pay-per-view Barbara Streisand concert.
Songs: Creedence Clearwater Revival -- Fortunate Son, Jefferson Airplane -- White Rabbit, (Unknown artist) -- Adagio for Strings
After Stan blows Roger off once again, he realizes he needs his help again. Stan tricks Roger into believing they are going on a trip to a remote island while in actuality Roger is standing in for the island dictator.
Meanwhile, much to Steve's annoyance, Snot brags about accidentally touching Francine's boobs when she saved him from drowning.
Songs: Bananarama -- Venus
Steve is left alone while the rest of the family visits colleges for Hayley.
While the family is gone, Steve inadvertently crashes a military drone.
Meanwhile Stan gets kicked off the plane leaving Francine & Hayley to deal with a costumed & sober Roger.
Songs: (Unknown artist) -- Daisy Bell
Fearing Francine will realize he is boring and leave him, Stan hatches a plan to keep Roger in the attic for a long time.
Meanwhile, Steve, Snot, Barry & Toshi attend camp but can't leave their geekiness behind until they realize what will regain their popularity. New Underwear.
After Stan flips out over not having a childhood, he breaks the law and gets sentenced to jail so Steve must accept being the man of the family.
Meanwhile, Hayley tries to bring Klaus out of the doldrums by giving him a makeover.
Songs: Diana Ross -- I'm Coming Out, The Banana Splits -- The Tra La La Song (One Banana, Two Banana)
After Stan reveals he only married Francine for her looks, she decides to let Stan see the “real” her for the ceremony.
After Stan bails on the ceremony, he realizes he still loves Francine but the only way he can be with her is to be blind.
Meanwhile, one of Roger's personas insists Hayley & Steve find the perfect gift for their parents.
Songs: Etta Jones -- At Last
After attending a My Morning Jacket concert with Hayley, Stan becomes obsessed with their music & decides to become a groupie.
In order to convince Hayley his advice is still worth accepting, he opens a dry cleaners with the help of strippers he met a club.
When things don't go as he planned, he is forced to become a dancer himself.
Meanwhile, Steve, Snot, Toshi & Barry spend a disappointing week at Space Camp.
Songs: Tone Loc
-- Funky Cold Medina, Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock -- It Takes Two
The Rapture occurs while Stan & Francine are in the the midst of an intimate moment in the church's janitor closet.
Stan refuses to accept the fact he was not raptured which causes Francine to leave him for Jesus.
Stan is determined to keep his gas guzzling SUV. In order to do this he must bet the family's life savings on Roger's race horse. When the horse becomes unable to race, Stan uses the CIA to swap brains with the filly in order to win the race.
Meanwhile, Steve, Snot, Toshi & Barry visit Al Tuttle.
After Francine is sentenced to a soup kitchen when Stan refuses to bail her out of jail when she's pulled over for drunk driving, he becomes addicted to crack thinking it is cold medicine.
Meanwhile, after receiving permission from her father, Steve is determined to sleep with the new girl in school.
After Stan's latest round of neglecting Francine, he attempts to make it up to her with Valentine's Day coupons, but before anything happens they are interrupted by a cyborg version of Stan from the future who has come back to prepare Stan for the upcoming robot Apocalypse.
Meanwhile, after mistaking a sex-doll for a simple mannequin, Steve, Snot, Barry & Toshi decide to remake the 80s movie Mannequin, but when Roger gets involved becomes more complicated.
Songs: Perfume -- Monochrome Effect
After learning that Roger was part of the 1980 U.S. Hockey Team, he becomes Stan's new hero, but when learning Roger was on steroids he convinces Roger to return his gold medal.
Meanwhile, when Reggie returns from a trip, Hayley reluctantly agrees to hang out with him.
Songs: Shaggy -- Boombastic
After Francine is mugged and Roger fails to do nothing, he decides to become a police officer. However, Roger soon takes matters into his own hands when justice doesn't come fast enough dealing with the mugger.
Meanwhile, Hayley and Reggie decide to get better acquainted through a double date.
Songs: Stan Bush -- The Touch
After Stan bails, Roger goes with Francine to wine country which results in a drunken kiss between the two of them.
Meanwhile, Steve practices lucid dreaming much to the amusement of Haley and Klaus.
In order to teach Steve to stand up for himself and be more assertive, Stan becomes Steve's personal bully.
Meanwhile, Roger embarks on a career in crime scene photography & Hayley and Jeff reunite much the chagrin of Reggie.
When the Buckle and Shari move into the neighborhood, the Smiths attend their housewarming party.
After Stan has an 'accident' in the pool, he feels he cannot live with the embarrassment and decided to pack up the family and leave town.
When he realizes he can't escape his shame he hatches a plan involving the President of the U.S. Barack Obama.
Even after Roger insists the family gives him a roast for his 1601st birthday, his feelings get hurt to the point he decided the Smiths must die.
Songs: Ace of Base -- The Sign
When Hayley & Jeff elope, Stan & Francine decide to give $10,000 to anyone who can stop the wedding.
In the conclusion of the season opener, Stan and Francine compete with each other on how to raise Steve by creating a clone of him.
Meanwhile, Roger attempts to track down Hayley & Jeff so he can steal the $10,000.
Songs: MGMT -- Electric Feel, John Farnham -- Thunder in Your Heart
Buckle usurps Stan's title as the best Halloween attraction on the block. In an attempt to regain the title, Stan obtains 5 real serial killers but things go awry when Roger releases them.
Meanwhile, Steve wants a closer relationship with Toshi's sister.
With Roger's assistance, Stan gets to live out his life long fantasy, opening his own restaurant.
Meanwhile, Steve thinks he has a sure thing with the new girl in school. She agrees to go all the way with him if he can provide a guy for her best friend who also happens to be a doll.
After 20 years of supressed memories, Francine remembers she was once a stand up comedian. With Roger's help she decided to revive her career which lands her a sit-com on FOX.
This radical life change proves to be to much for Stan to handle.
Meanwhile, Klaus receives a fish partner.
Stan's half-brother, Rusty and his family visit the Smiths for Thanksgiving. Stan believes he is showing his brother the finer things of life but when the next year the Smiths go to Rusty's place, Stan quickly realizes he is in fact lesser off.
Stan decided he deserves the good fortune that has been bestowed upon Rusty and his family.
Happily accepted for jury duty, Stan is surprised when Roger is the accused person in the trial.
Meanwhile, after Jeff & Hayley move in with the Smiths, Francine & Klaus must deal with Jeff's addiction.
After the gift of a gun from Stan, Steve shoots Santa Claus.
Upon learning it was the real Santa, the Smiths are on the run for their life.
Meanwhile, Roger is in search of a beverage that will get him drunk.
After a disastrous meal, Roger poisons the house with his excessive gas.
The Smiths are forced to stay at a hotel where, upon the advice of the concierge, Francine decides to take on the persona of professional concrete saleswoman & Steve attempts to travel back in time to meet the model who posed for a portrait.
Songs: ELO -- Mr. Blue Sky
Stan & Francine befriend a young couple but quickly realize they are not as young as they used to be.
Meanwhile, Roger and Steve must get a refund for a defective product.
Songs: Street Fabulous -- Sté ÉLéCtro 2
After a failed mission, Roger gets Stan to admit he can't act. He convinces Stan to take his acting classes which work well until they are up for the same part.
Meanwhile, Steve, Snot, Barry & Toshi decided to have once final sleep over.
Stan comes to Roger's aid when he's about to get hit by a car & after a fight with Roger, Stan admits the only reason Roger lives with them is due to the life debt Stan owes Roger.
However, when Hayley points out the life debt is now even, Roger moves out but after being miserable, he decided to once again, to save Stan's life by any means possible.
Meanwhile, Steve starts doing the school announcements but realizes the power is too great.
When Steve finishes his dinner before Stan, he believes his time as alpha male are up. However, when Stan realizes he still has sex with Francine on his side.
Meanwhile, Hayley and Jeff seek marriage advice from Principal Brian Lewis which turns out to be housework.
In a blatant attempt to suck up to Senator Buckingham in order to get a promotion, Stan enrolls Steve in the same private school the Senator's daughter attends.
After Steve quits the school, Roger fills in & things are going well until Roger accidentally sells the senator’s daughter to a drug lord.
Meanwhile Steve is jumped into a Latina street gang.
Steve, Barry & Toshi agrees to help Snot's Uncle Solomon bring his his cabbage crop at the same time Roger bets Klaus he can turn Steve into one of the “cool kids”.
He does so by teaching him how to drive. However, the only thing Steve is old enough to drive is Solomon's tractor.
Meanwhile, Stan and Francine take turns pranking each other.
Snot professes his love for one of Roger's personas, Jenny Fromdabloc.
Surprisingly, Roger grows fond of Snot but after a claim that Snot is no longer a virgin & realizing the truth, Steve decides to break them up.
Meanwhile Stan longs for the time when wives would meet their husbands at the door with dry martinis, but quickly realizes he can't hold his sauce.
After making a wager with Greg & Terry their marriage can remain strong during a home renovation, Stan & Francine go to war after they can't decide how to remodel the kitchen.
Meanwhile, Principal Brian Lewis convinces Barry to use his almost savant counting ability to cheat at cards.
Francine gets a job at the CIA but it interferes in Stan's ability to flirt at the office.
Meanwhile, Roger convinces Steve to build birdhouses for profit.
Stan wants some quality time with Steve at the local zoo but things don't go as planned when the mama gorilla adopts Steve as one of her own.
Meanwhile, Roger attempts to become a country singer and bets Hayley he can do so by simply writing the most depressing song of all time and the only way to do that is to live the life, so he marries the biggest country girl at the bar.
When the stress of life finally gets to Stan, he is convinced by Principal Brian Lewis to purchase a hot tub.
However, things don't go as planned when the hot tub Stan chooses comes to life & decides it wants Stan all to itself.
In the third installment of FOX's hurricane trilogy, Stan convinces the family they can ride out the storm.
However, it is quickly learned that Stan cannot make good and rational decisions while facing a crisis.
Roger convinces Stan & Francine to let his be guardian of Steve so they can skip a school function, however when Roger puts a stop to the too close relationship Steve has with Principal Brian Lewis, Steve runs away from home.
Meanwhile, Stan and Francine have a much needed vacation away from the kids at the world's largest water park, although reality doesn't quite meet their expectation.
When Stan realizes he may never achieve his dream of being a best man, he convinces Principal Brian Lewis to marry. However, things don't go as planned when Brian's first "wife" shows up at the wedding.
Meanwhile, Roger comes across a perfect pair of shorts and after a disappointing night with Ricky Martin begins to question his self confidence.
After realizing that he has missed every milestone in Steve’s life, Stan uses CIA tech, a hot blond avatar, in order to become closer to him, even if it mean losing his virginity to him.
Meanwhile Roger gets revenge on 6 frat boys who skipped out on paying him for his limo driving services.
Francine becomes jealous after Stan happens to run into an old CIA crush. In her jealously she convinces Roger to woo her.
Meanwhile, after accidentally putting on Hayley's panties, Steve realizes his luck as changed.
After denied the role of Jesus by Father Donovan for being too fat, Roger is cast in the annual mall Christmas play.
An enraged Stan beats Roger up in full view of the town and news which causes him to be excommunicated.
Meanwhile Hayley & Jeff adopt a son & Stan finds out the only way back into the church is to kill the child.
Steve tries desperately to prove to his dad that he is brave.
Meanwhile, Francine thinks she may be pregnant.
In order to teach Steve the value of earning something you really want, Stan gets him at the Havercamp Country Club.
Before Steve can work hard, Mr. Vanderhill (Roger in disguise) hires him to be his assistant.
Meanwhile, Klaus helps Francine come up with a catch phrase when she feels she won't be remembered.
Songs: Foreigner -- I Want to Know What Love Is
During the latest case for Wheels and the Legman, Stan joins the firm, however things don't go as planned after Stan is kidnapped.
Meanwhile, Klaus insists to Francine and Hayley he can his photos submitted to CutePetPics.com
After Stan is hexed by an old man, he begins to age rapidly and the only way to beat it and return to normal is to climb Mount Kilimanjaro.
Meanwhile Roger and Francine train for a dance competition that may not be what it seems.
Stan's high school wrestling record is threatened by Roger.
Songs: Jude Cole -- Back to School
After Roger's alter-ego Dr. Penguin gets shipped off to Iraq, Klaus decides to try his fin at helping the family with their problems but quickly discovers his methods do not go as he planned.
Once again, Stan refuses to allow Steve to have a dog but Francine goes behind his back and buys a puppy names Kisses.
After a horrible accident and thanks to a traumatic childhood incident, Stan refuses to let go of Kisses and instead ops for an experimental medical procedure.
After finally getting sick of Hayley & Jeff sponging off him and not contributing, Stan bets the young couple that he and Francine can live one month on only $1000.
Meanwhile, after being taunted by Klaus' boast of once driving a Ferrari, Steve and Roger vow they must do the same.
Hayley convinces Francine to get reacquainted with an old friend and after joining them in a night of heavy drinking, winds up in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant.
Upon hearing the news Stan is willing to donate one of his kidneys but Francine confesses that Hayley may not be his daughter due to a bachelorette party indiscretion.
In order to find the man who is the right kidney match, Stan and Francine travel back in time to discover who she slept with on that fateful night.
Roger rediscovers one of personas, Ricky Spanish, and remembers why he's the most hated person in Langley Falls.
Meanwhile, the child Stan & Francine sponsored in Africa suddenly shows up on their doorstep.
After Stan is embarrassed by Steve's playtime he decides to take him to Mexico to finally become a man but things go very wrong when they are kidnapped by the local drug cartel.
Songs: (Unknown artist) -- Lili Marleen
After Roger opens a bar in the Smith's attic and and hearing her sing in the shower, Roger hires Hayley as his entertainment.
However Roger realizes he's in love with Hayley and quickly takes his infatuation too far.
Meanwhile, Stan tries to sell his old SUV so he can purchase a new Hummer.
Francine forbids Stan from working on their vacation but when Bullock assigns him to kill a long lost war veteran, Francine intervenes.
Meanwhile, Hayley and Jeff try to rekindle their fading romance, Roger's latest persona, Abigail Lemonparty, falls for an older gentleman & Steve meets a fellow teen who takes him on a rough journey to find a nude beach.
After Stan spends too much time at the CIA 'Chill House', she devises a plan to infiltrate and get to know Stan on his level.
Meanwhile, Steve, Snot, Toshi & Barry are recruited for a boy band.
After the death of Hercules, Stan's mother Betty moves in with Smiths forcing Roger out of his attic.
Things get complicated when the next day, Roger & Betty announce they are married.
Meanwhile, Steve, Snot, Toshi & Barry come across a long lost script of the Fast and the Furious series which they are determined gets made.
After Stan decides Snot is not cool enough to hang out with Steve, he stages a murder which lands Snot in the CIA Witness Protection program.
The Smith family’s regular babysitter, Lindsay (guest voice Alison Brie), breaks her leg in a soccer match, so Stan and Francine are forced to leave Steve with Hayley, despite her track record of being extremely irresponsible.
When Hayley teases Steve about being a goody-two-shoes, Steve is determined to prove her wrong and sneaks out of the house to go to a party with the cool kids
A talk show reveals that Francine was the toddler who famously rescued from a well by a fireman; Francine makes a discovery when she falls down the well on the anniversary of her rescue.
Meanwhile, Stan and Roger come up with a business idea
Songs: Jon Cates -- Science Fact - Monism 10
Francine encourages the family to give up their various vices, but they all get drunk at Roger’s Mardi Gras party and enter into a harrowing pact with Bullock.
Meanwhile, a pastie is left in the attic, Cinderella-style, and Roger sets out to find the “perfect bosom” on which to place it
Francine sets out to teach Roger a lesson in the importance of working hard, but the idea backfires. Meanwhile, Steve's school project requires interviewing Stan about his past, and he's soon sorry he asked.
In a tribute to and send-up of the Pulitzer Prize-winning play, August: Osage County, a dark secret is revealed about the Smith family’s past when Francine invites Stan’s incarcerated dad, Jack, to Stan’s birthday party.
Also in this spoof, Roger plays Edna, a maid who nurses Bullock and Hayley’s love child. But when Edna falls in love with Bullock, it could mean dire consequences for the kid.
Roger announces that “Max Jets,” a character of Roger’s who enjoys showering the Smith family with money, is soon getting out of prison. But a wrench is thrown in the system when Max falls in love with Gina, a gold-digging waitress who threatens the family’s inheritance.
Roger pretends to be Jeff’s imaginary friend, so he can freely roam naked around the house with no disguise.
But when big-mouth Jeff figures out that Roger is an alien, Stan issues an ultimatum: either Roger or Jeff must be killed immediately.
Meanwhile, Steve becomes insecure about the shape of his rear end
In Part 2 of “The Tearjerker Saga,” a “James Bond” parody, Stan and his wife Sexpun Tocome’s honeymoon is brutally interrupted when Black Villain fatally shoots Sexpun.
Determined to get his revenge, Stan teams up with former nemesis The Tearjerker to track down Black Villain and put a stop to his evil plan to melt the arctic glaciers.
Francine discovers Steve’s special talent that will help him get into a great school: spelling. But when she fears that Steve is being distracted by Hiko’s sister, Akiko, she takes drastic measures to ensure victory at the Pearl Bailey High School Spelling Bee.
Meanwhile, Stan and Roger want Hayley to line-judge their badminton game, but she’s still devastated over Jeff, so they decide to push her through the five stages of grief as quickly as possible.
Francine does all she can to make Stan take on a different mission. And when he does, she learns that her missionary man is all she really needs.
Meanwhile, Hayley tries to get back into the dating scene with disastrous results, and reluctantly submits to Snot's advance, agreeing to a dinner date.
Francine bumps into an old high school friend and after been invited to her wedding, tries to mold Stan into her ideal husband, when he suffers amnesia after been thrown off an arcade game. Steve joins Rogers paper route were he is exposed to Rogers corrupt ways.
Stan is shocked when Agent Crisp from CIA Internal Affairs tells him that Deputy Director Bullock is showing early signs of dementia and must have his memory erased.
Meanwhile, Steve runs into a bully at school, so Roger hires an old friend – Stelio Kontos – to take care of the problem
In the special 150th episode, the series travels to the slave spaceship that abducted Jeff... with Roger’s help after Jeff discovered he's an alien.
To find his way home, Jeff must first prove to the evil Emperor Zing that he was always in love with Hayley.
Klaus discovers his original human body, but Stan refuses to help him switch back. So, Klaus steals Stan's body and Stan becomes the fish. Meanwhile, Roger turns the attic into a gym, and tries to pressure Steve into a long-term membership.
After asking every girl to the prom & getting turned down by every girl, Steve & Snot decide to sneak into the CIA and clone their dates.
Francine’s “Poltergasm” starts to haunt the Smith household when she is unsatisfied by Stan in the sack, and Roger must conjure a medium named Zelda Rubinstein to help eliminate the ghost.
Meanwhile, Hayley introduces her new boy-toy, Mauricio to the family.
Steve is eager to prove that he’s no longer a little boy, so he sets off to prove his manhood by joining Stan, Bullock and the rest of the CIA on their annual hunting trip.
Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus set off on a cross-country road trip
In a desperate attempt to show Steve that she’s still a “cool” mom, Francine teaches him a vast array of shoplifting techniques to try out at the local mall. B when their attempt to pull off the ultimate heist at “The Gash” goes awry, Steve is captured and sent to a Venezuelan sweatshop.
Meanwhile, Roger, Hayley and Klaus form Langley Falls’ first Russian Balalaika trio
Stan’s plans for a perfect Thanksgiving watching football in his underwear are thwarted when Francine invites her adoptive parents to join them for the holiday.
Meanwhile, Francine’s mom encourages Hayley to get back on the dating scene and invites an eligible bachelor over, but her true intentions are revealed at Thanksgiving dinner
Despite Snot's reluctance, Steve takes Snot to attend his father's funeral but winds up blowing him off to spend time with a mystery girl he meets at a roadside motel.
Meanwhile, Roger & Stan partner w/ Hideki on a inspired cake cutting invention after listening to their guts.
-- Just Beneath the Surface
Hayley tries to fit in with a popular group of her former high school friends and, in the process, discovers Steve has an amazing ability to create incredibly realistic fake IDs.
Sensing a business opportunity, Hayley builds out Steve’s operation, but they don’t count on having to deal with the other kingpin of the Langley Falls fake ID game: Kevin Ramage
When Steve starts acting like a spoiled brat during the holidays, Stan takes him to see his incarcerated Grandpa Jack, who tells him the story of how he caught Minstrel Krampus (guest voice Glover), a legendary demon who punishes naughty children on Christmas.
Stan decides that releasing Krampus is the only way to straighten out Steve’s attitude. But when Krampus kidnaps Steve, it’s up to Stan and Roger to get him back.
Meanwhile, Hayley gets a job at the airport, but quickly realizes that she might not be cut out for customer service
Roger suffers a horrific car crash as he tries to take a picture of his crotch on a traffic speed cam. After waking up from a coma, he starts to have eerie visions of the future, and saves the Smiths from a terrible fire. But, Roger’s abuse of his newfound powers soon draws the ire of his fellow family members and the Smiths must learn to cope with the uncertainty of the future.
Francine wants to rekindle family fun time by taking everyone to Familyland.
Once everyone goes their separate ways, her sad lamenting awakens the cyrogenically frozen founder Roy Family who decided it's time for families to enjoy themselves or else.
Stan begins to sleepwalk when he alters his nighttime routine after his 100th kill, however the sleepwalking 'Good Stan', refuses to let him kill again.
Roger offers to help Steve land his dream girl by surgically switch faces & if that wasn't bad enough, Roger decides he wants her for himself.
Meanwhile, Stan & Francine become stewardesses and become embroiled in scheme to prevent Marc Cuban from blowing up the sun.
Francine wants Stan to let up when he demands Steve & his friends play outside, however he finds a way around Francine's wishes by using the CIA new holodeck.
Meanwhile, Hayley wants Roger to admit he cares about something by purchasing his home star and declaring herself his queen.
In order to become better connected to Francine, Stan takes an experimental CIA drug that turns him into a woman.
Meanwhile, Roger & Klaus decide to open a business selling Stan's old suits.
-- Ordinary Love
Stan attempts to infiltrate the "Occupy" movement, based on CIA intelligence that a leftist cell is planning a terrorist attack.
But when he's captured and returned home by a group of radicals, Hayley suspects her father may have been "turned".
Stan fears that Hayley has no life skills so he forces her to take a job as a bartender in Roger’s attic bar but, when Bullock becomes Hayley’s best customer, Stan realizes that he can use his daughter’s knowledge to get ahead at work
Stan discovers a way he can slyly check out other women. When the new couch ends up with a stain on it, Roger and Klaus try to cover it up.
Stan is fired from the CIA in a round of budget cuts, but since his 20 years of work experience are classified and hidden from his “permanent record”, the only job he’s able to land is at the local grocery store where Steve is the manager.
Meanwhile, Roger bets an annoying coffee shop musician that he can outplay him in one week. To accomplish his goal, he enters into a Faustian bargain with Lorenzo, a guitar-instructing infomercial host.
Songs: Tommy Emmanuel -- Classical Gas
Hayley starts an internship at a local news station working for a Nancy Grace-type reporter, who happens to be Roger in disguise.
Hayley, still heartbroken over Jeff’s abduction, meets millionaire Matt Davis, who begins to help her move forward, until Steve and Snot discover that Jeff’s alive and trying to make it back to her.
Roger is forced to sell his beloved attic bar to a restaurant chain after suffering a heart attack.
Meanwhile, a sexy new neighbor attempts to seduce Steve, Snot, Barry & Toshi.
After seeing how sophisticated Greg & Terry's life is, Roger decides to move in with them by impersonating their newly adopted Russian son, Michael.
Roger becomes amorous with everyone and everything in the house and discovers the reason in a crashed flying saucer.
He develops a relation with the alien only to realize the CIA has also discovered she's on Earth.
Hayley decides to dye her hair blonde in order to get more attention in her charity work.
Meanwhile, Stan is sick of door flyers so w/ Steve, he sets out to find a better home in a gated community.
Stan, Jackson, Dick & Hooper must prove to Bullock they are still essential after he sends a drone to to their job.
Meanwhile at home, Francine, Roger, Steve & Hayley challenge each other to a slow motion race across the living room.
After being impressed when a fellow geek beats up a school bully, Steve & Snot enroll in Karate, however Steven doesn't like the new 'Angry Snot'.
Meanwhile, Klaus is forced to become an 'outside fish' when his smell becomes overwhelming.
When the CIA is forced to make cutbacks and go on furlough, Stan volunteers to take a position as a college campus security guard.
Meanwhile, Roger opens a bed and breakfast to boost the family's income.
When Francine's sister Gwen comes to town, Hayley suspects she is up to no good.
Meanwhile, Stan teaches Steve the art of hugging Aunt Gwen, and Klaus shadows Roger's dramatic comments.
Stan wishes he could have a carefree, single life just like Principal Lewis. His wishes come true, whilst Principal Lewis becomes head of the house at the Smith household.
Hayley joins the Langley Falls roller derby team but on the condition her "sister" joins as well.
This leads Steve on a gender identity quest.
Meanwhile, Stan breaks the sink & they find help in a saintly carpenter.
A rift develops between Steve & Francine when he swears at her. She decides to stop cooking for him so he learns to do for himself which leads him to be invited on a morning talk show.
Meanwhile, Stan thinks he becomes invisible when he snaps his fingers.
Hayley gets a job and starts to fall for a co-worker.
Meanwhile, Stan chauffers Steve and Francine to a Mother-Son dance
On a Hollywood vacation, Stan meets an old actress that has decided he is the reincarnation of her dead husband.
Meanwhile back at home, Hayley & Steve delete Roger's 'Bones' from the DVR so he decides they need retraining.
Francine is up for an award for her lonely housewife novel, so the family heads to the Big Apple for the ceremony.
Meanwhile, Stan and Hayley hang out with actor Robert Wuhl, and Steve and Roger recreate their Wheels and the Legman personas.
Stan is horrified when he sees a couple die in a car crash, and he goes to see a shrink.
Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus study for a wine tasting.