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American Dad!
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| Title: | A Smith in the Hand |
| Episode Number: | 9 |
| Season: | 1 |
| Season Episode #.: | 9 |
| Production Number: | 1AJN10 |
| Original Airdate: | Sunday September 18th, 2005 |
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Steve comes home with a permission slip which would allow for him to take the sex ed course at school. But Stan won't have it, he is convinced that he can do a better job himself. While badly teaching Steve, Stan learns a little something himself, which he is not proud of. Meanwhile, Roger feels he needs to make something of himself so he turns the attic into a bar with him as the bartender and the family as the regulars.
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| Stan checks in at the "Bates Motel", which is an abbreviation for "masturbates". | TheCIA doctor is in the middle of performing open-heart surgery on Vice President Dick Cheney when Stan calls. Cheney has had operations like this in real life. | Principal Lewis appears in this episode. This is the first time we've seen him since the Pilot episode. | "Dr. Heisler, Plastic Surgeon - We'll Make You Do-able Again." is what the sign on Dr. Heislers office building says. | The name on Hayley's fake ID is "Dr. Ernestine Chow." | Langley Falls Post front page headline: "Israel Pulls out of Gaza, Gaza not Pregnant." |
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| | Artist | Song Title | Played When | | •Carmina Burana | O Fortuna | |
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| Francine: What's going on?
Stan: Steve fell off a ladder. He's dead inside. We're gonna go save America.
Klaus: Francine, you seem oddly unfazed.
Francine: No, no, I'm shocked and confused. It's just that I paralyzed my face to make me look prettier.
Klaus: Oh, why didn't you say you were having work done? I would have gladly gone halfsies on the super boob. | Roger & Klaus: Francine!
Roger: Good to see you, Mrs. S. You just missed happy hour, but we may still have some crab cakes. Miguel, tenemos crab cakes?!
Francine: I don't want any crab cakes.
Roger: Good, because there's no Miguel or crab cakes. | (Another Avalanche covers them in snow)Moose #1: Why do we keep grazing here?
Moose #2: I don't know. I do not know. | Stan: Okay, now that the square is gone, we can really rap. So, what do you need to know?
Steve: Um, everything, I guess. I talk a big game, but I actually know very little about sex.
Stan: Well, you don't have to worry about it because you're not having it.
Steve: Oh, but I guess I just thought I should know...
Stan: You don't need to know! That's the beautiful mystery of sex.
Steve: Well, I guess not, but I...
Stan: See, if I tell you about it, it won't be a mystery. It'll just be a fact, an ugly, moist fact, squatting on your brain like an octopus. And you don't want an octopus squatting on your brain, do you, son?
Steve: No.
Stan: And that's where babies come from. | TV Announcer: Watch Paris and Nicole debase themselves as they desperately cling to their last shred of stardom. | Steve: So, you're saying I should never ever have sex before marriage?
Stan: That's right, or angels will kill you. | Paris & Nicole: (On TV) We're gonna show you boys a new meaning of the words "hard time." |
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| The Simple Life - Life Without Parole
This is a take-off of FOX's show "The Simple Life" (which was just cancelled this year, and then picked up by another network.) | Roger: Oh, what fresh hell is this?
A famous quote often used by writer Dorothy Parker when she would answer the phone. | Klaus & Roger: Francine!
When Francine enters the bar, Roger and Claus yell "Francine". Well the whole bar parody is actually a spoof of the hit show "Cheers". In which when the popular regular "Norm" would enter the bar everyone would yell "Norm!". | A Smith In The Hand
The episode title is a spoof of the phrase "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." | Roger's Place
The whole Bar Parody is a spoof of the famous show "Cheers". |
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