Episode Quotes
Roger: Does this furniture polish have alcohol in it? (Drinks) Mmmmmm... tastes like I might die.
Steve: Come on, Hayley. You're going to the movies with Jeff, anyway. Just give me a ride.
Hayley: You know the rule.
Steve: You're the most evironmentally-conscious, self-actualized feminist in the world...
Hayley: And?
Steve: And I'm a douche bag.
Hayley: Bye, dad. We're going to see the new Michael Moore documentary.
Stan: Michael Moore... ? Oh, you mean Michael Bin Laden.
Stan: Francine, good news. I'm in charge of planning Bullock's party, which means you're in charge of planning Bullock's party.
Stan: Damn it. If Francine had been here, she could have started the wave of laughter. Laughter is infectious, like smallpox or gay. She wants to be equal partners, well, I say, no way.
Steve: How come all the women are dressed like ninjas?
Hayley: They're wearing abayas. Saudi women aren't objectified like women in Western cultures. The beauty myth doesn't exist here.
Stan: It doesn't exist in Idaho, either. Why couldn't we go there? Talk about a bunch of dogs.
Francine: Oh, good, a Shwarma King. I'm starving. Pull over, Stan.
Stan: Are you insane? We're not stopping for their food. Next, you'll want to use their bathrooms, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna use their sandpapery toilet scrolls on my proud American button.
Roger: I need a drink. Where's the booze?
Hayley: There is no booze. Saudi Arabia is a dry country.
Roger: Seriously, where's the booze?
Stan: Now, I've installed extra locks on the doors and windows so you won't get beheaded while I'm out.
Francine: Stan?
Stan: Way ahead of you. I'll find us a satellite so we can watch Lost when I get home. Just because we're stuck in this wasteland doesn't mean it's not Wednesday.
Steve: My childhood died on July 18, 2003, the day Kobe Bean Bryant was charged with sexual assault.
Francine: Steve...
Steve: Why was he even in Colorado in the first place? Black man don't go to Colorado.
Stan: Ladies, ladies. You're both Mrs. Smith.
Francine: Stan, what on earth?
Stan: Surprise! I got us a second wife. You know, to help with cooking and cleaning. Her name's impossible to pronounce, so I just call her "Thundercat."
Cultural References
Visual: Jawas
As Steve, Hayley & Roger walk through the bizarre, in the background,
Jawas from 1977's
Star Wars A New Hope can be seen selling droids to a customer.
In fact the droids resemble the characters,
R2D2 &
R5D4.

Bullock: I like big Asian butts and I cannot lie.
A rephrasement of a line from the hit song "Baby's got back".
During Stan's
I Want a Wife song, the character from
The Flintstones appears,
Wilma Flintstone.

Stan: One of these days, Francine. One of these days. (Shoots gun in the air) Right in the kisser.
A quick reference to the Honeymooners. This line is similar to Ralph's common line.
During Stan's
I Want a Wife song, the characters from
I Dream of Jeannie appears,
Jeannie &
Tony Nelson


Comedian and The Tonight Show host,
Jay Leno is featured in this episode.

While driving along, the Smiths' hear an explosion and say
Roll 'em up, in regards to the windows.
This is a direct reference to the 1983 comedy,
Vacation starring Chevy Chase.
In the film, The Griswalds drive through a dangerous neighborhood and hear gunshots and do the exact say thing.

Visual: Turban Outfitters
While walking through the bizarre, Steve, Hayley & Roger pass a booth named Turban Outfitters.
This is a play on words of the name of the real business
Urban Outfitters

Mahmood wears a t-shirt featuring
Steve Urkel, the main character from the long running sitcom,
Family Matters (1989-1998).
When Hayley leaves the table he says the line,
the Hayley-miester sitting on the toilet. This a reference to a Saturday Night Live sketch starring
Rob Schneider and his character, Richmeister.

The scene with Bullock blowing out the match and cutting to the desert is a direct reference to the 7x 1962 Oscar© winning film,
Lawrence of Arabia where Lawrence (played by Peter O'Toole) does the same thing.


During Stan's
I Want a Wife song, the character from
All in the Family appears,
Edith Bunker and mentions her TV husband Archie.

During Stan's
I Want a Wife song, the character from
Mary Tyler Moore appears,
Laura Petrie.

Francine tells Stan she is playing the part of
Mrs. Potts from the 1991 Disney film,
Beauty & the Beast.

Roger get's drunk off the wine made by
Ernest & Julio Gallo
