Episode Quotes
Stan: Shawna, looking rad tonight. Want to dance?
Shawna: Like, gag me.
Girl #1: Grody.
Stan: Sheesh. Uptown girls.
Stan: Aw, come on, guys, no wet willies! I just Clearasiled my ears!
Guy #1: It's all set, right?
Guy #2: It's gonna be just like in Carrie. (Pulls rope making a bunch squealing pigs fall on Stan)
Guy #1: Pigs? It was supposed to be pig's blood.
Guy #2: I didn't finish the book.
Guy #1: You stopped reading after the word "pigs"? That wasn't even the end of the sentence.
Stan: (Driving) Are we there yet?
Francine: No.
Stan: Are we there yet?
Francine: No.
Stan: Are we there yet?
Francine: Stan, you're driving!
Stan: (Daydreaming; shooting his gun) And you, and you, and you!
Dick: Stan! Stan wake up!
Stan: Huh? Oh, sorry, must have zoned out.
Dick: You just shot Jackson eight times!
(Jackson groans and falls to the ground)
Stan: Oh my God, Jackson! Hang on, buddy, you're gonna make it!
(Jackson coughs up his heart)
Francine: Boy, whoever adopted this part of the highway is really keeping it clean. Thanks... (Reads a sign) "Ku Klux Klan."
Stan: That's okay, Francine. You don't have to remember her name. You were the homecoming queen. (Puts the tiara on her)
Francine: Don't, Stan. I'll look silly.
Stan: If by "silly" you mean beautiful, then, yes, you do look silly. Hell, you look downright retarded.
Roger: Hey, if we got your dad's missile launcher, I bet we could hit the house of the bully who went all Tom Sizemore on your eye.
Steve: Oh, I wish I could get that guy back. I'd like to dress up as a girl and make him have sex with me, then say, "Ha! I'm not a girl! You just had sex with a boy who hates you!" (Laughs)
Roger: Yeah, let's keep that plan between you, me, and the string of therapists who won't be able to help you.
Quacky: Apparently, Betty Sue was so devastated by losing homecoming queen, she went into a Dunkin' Donuts and never came out. And speaking of coming out: ta-da!
Stan: So that's why you're so pale. This is the first time you've come out of your house. This is a necktie, and this is a table.
Quacky: No, I'm gay.
Stan: What?! My gay-dar is totally off!
Stan: That's a great story about being old and alone. It's like you've been walking around dead for 20 years and no one's had the decency to cremate you and sprinkle your ashes over Old Maid Mountain.
Betty Sue: Wow, that's quite a line.
Stan: Well, it's actually more of an assessment of your life.
Betty Sue: No, I mean the line to get in. What you just said was emotionally devastating.
Betty Sue: I hope this isn't awkward.
Stan: Awkward? Don't be silly, it was Francine's idea.
Francine: I was being sarcastic! Or don't you get sarcasm, genius?
Stan: Oh, I think I get sarcasm, and I'm hardly a genius, but still, thank you; that's awfully sweet of you.
(Before delivering the pizzas)
Roger: (Sarcastically) Oh, this is gonna be life-changing.
(After delivering the pizzas)
Roger: That was totally life-changing!
Stan: Hey, I have a life! I have an important job, a house with a giant flagpole, a great kid, another kid, and a beautiful wife who loves me and thinks I'm a winner. I have a great life. Oh my God! I have a great life. (About Betty Sue) So, what am I doing with this train wreck?
Betty Sue: (Drunk) That's it! I'm driving home!
Everyone: Okay, bye. See ya.
Betty Sue: No one's even gonna try to stop me? Well, you can all go to hell! I hate you all!
Cultural References
It's Good to be Queen
The episode title is a spoof the phrase "It's Good to be King".
John DeLorean High School
The "Delorean" part is a very obvious reference to the Back to the Future triology. The entrance to the high school is also similar to the one in the movie.
Francine: Boy, whoever adopted this part of the highway is really keeping it clean. Thanks... (Reads a sign) "Ku Klux Klan."
This is a funny joke referencing the big debate on whether or not the group known as "The Ku Klux Klan" (anti-african americans) should be able to own a highway under that name.
Stan: “Uptown girls”
Stan's insult is a reference to
Billy Joel's
(1949-) 1983 song
“Uptown Girl” from his album
“An Innocent Man” The blond kid that says
“Smith relax, you look choice” is modeled after the character
“Johnny Lawrence” played by
William Zabka (1964-) from 1984's
“The Karate Kid”Teen: “It's gonna be just like in Carrie”
The movie being referred to is, of course as mentioned, 1976's
“Carrie” starring
John Travolta (1954-) &
Sissy Spacek (1949-) who played “Carrie”.
Roger: “I bet we could hit the house of the bully who went Tom Sizemore on your eye”
This is a reference to actor
Tom Sizemore's
(1961-) trouble with drugs and violence.
Francine: “Quacky!”
Jon Cryer (1964-) voices the character of
“Quacky” which is an allusion to the character
“Duckie” he played in the 1986 comedy
“Pretty in Pink” Stan: “Come on! You got to have one of these”
The person Stan goes to to get a
“She's so fat” joke is modeled after the character
“Roger “Raj” Thomas” played by
Ernest Thomas (1950-) from
“What's Happening!” (1976-1979) Roger: “Yeah look Kung Fu, I prefer my crazy in my bread”
This is a reference to the tv show
“Kung Fu” (1972-1975) that starred
David Carradine (1936-2009).
David's character
“Kwai Chang Caine” would dispense advice and wisdom similar to Mitch's.
Hayley: “So wait, Luke would be on drums?”
Klaus: “Nein, nein, nein, nein. Luke would be on lead guitar, Chewie on drums and Darth Vader on bass.”
Hayley: “That would be the greatest concert of all time.”
Klaus: “Ja, ja, ja, ja.”
Haley: “Wait, what would Yoda play?”
Klaus: “OH! I forgot about Yoda!”
This scene is based on
THIS real poster that features the characters from
Star Wars in concert.
Stan forces actor
Gabriel Byrne (1950-), who he mistakenly believes is singer/songwriter
Peter Gabriel (1950-), to sing Gabriel's 1986 song
“In Your Eyes” from his album
“So” while holding him above his head via the character from the 1989 romantic comedy
“Say Anything...”,
“Lloyd Dobler”, in an attempt to get Francine to forgive him.
Stan: “Have the violinist play 'Little Red Corvette'”
Stan asks the waiter to play the 1982 song
“Little Red Corvette” by
Prince (1958-) from his album
“1999” Visual: “The Maitre D'”
The Maitre D' at the restaurant is modeled after the “Chez Quis Maitre D'” character played by
Jonathan Schmock from the 1986 comedy
“Ferris Bueller's Day Off” The episode closes with the 1988
INXS song
“Never Tear Us Apart” from their album
“KICK”