Episode Quotes
Francine: How humiliating. Hayley made me look like a total idiot.
Stan: Honey, you're not a total idiot. I mean, you got the point of the film, right?
Francine: Her film made me look like a boring housewife who's only good at cleaning.
Roger: Oh, that is an outrage!
Francine: Thank you, Roger.
Roger: You're a terrible cleaner. Look at this place. It's filthy!
Stan: Son, I know a better way we can make you a better athlete and get you in with the cool kids.
Steve: Really? How?
Stan: Well, we could embark on a strict three-year training program where we'd spend lots of time together, bonding as father and son.
Steve: Oh, I'd like that.
Stan: Yeah, me neither. That's why you should take these steroids.
Francine: Well, today, I became a surgeon. My diploma.
Hayley: This is printed on the back of a Chinese take-out menu. You've clearly been scammed, Mom.
Francine: Doctor! I didn't go to school for 12 hours to be called "Mom!"
Steve: Damn your experimental steroids!
Stan: It's okay, Son. You're experiencing a perfectly natural side effect called 'roid rage.
Steve: Oh, I'm experiencing a side effect all right. I have boobs!
Stan: Oh, my God!
Klaus: I know. Talk about a butter-face.
Stan: Let's not panic. The CIA scientist gets back from vacation in a few days. So until I get the antidote, we just have to keep your magnificent ta-tas under wraps.
Steve: What am I supposed to do now?
Stan: Strap 'em down with these Ace bandages. It's what Hilary Swank used to hide her breasts in Boys Don't Cry. You know, that movie where she got what she deserved?
(Steve gasps)
Stan: An Oscar! And brutally sodomized.
Steve: Dad!
Stan: In a review by Derek Simms of the Detroit Free Press!
Johnny Four-Legs: That was amazing, Dr. Smith. Let me introduce everyone. You know Blind Jimmy. I'm Johnny Four-Legs. These are the twins -- Large Monty.
Large Monty: Hey, how you doing?
Johnny Four-Legs: And Little Tex.
Little Tex: Howdy.
Johnny Four-Legs: And that's Deaf Teddy. We call him Wheels. But it don't really matter what we call him, 'cause he's deaf. Ain't that right, Melissa?
Deaf Teddy: Nice to meet you.
Stan: Oh, my God!
Roger: Oh, my God!
Stan: My son's a slut.
Roger: I just made that bed.
Jock 1: Did you hear what Vince Chung just said?
Jock 2: Yeah, he's so popular, you forget he's Asian.
Episode Goofs
The display board inexplicably increases in size from one moment to the next.


Hayley places the tea pot on a fully white napkin, but when she tells Francine about the phony diploma the napkin suddenly has a checkerboard pattern.


Francine's necklace changes momentarily when she first meets the Handicap Mafia.


Steve places the comic book he's reading on the bed beside him, but it seems to have vanished when he gets up.
Also, his dresser has grown taller. The TV was lower than the lamp and was underneath the shuttle on the wall poster but then suddenly the TV is higher than the lamp & as high as the shuttle poster.


Cultural References
Visual: Haley's “Great Women in History” film
Haley's film features the First Lady of the United States from 1933 to 1945,
Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962), the first woman to fly across the Atlantic,
Amelia Earheart (1897-1937), Former First Lady of the United States from 1993 to 2001 and current Secretary of State under President Obama,
Hillary Clinton (1947-),
Mother Teresa (1910-1997) &
Princess Diana (1961-1997) Visual: “The party teenage Stan crashes”
The teens are seen doing the dance that accompanied the 1986 song
“Walk Like an Egyptian” by
The Bangles (1981-Present) Visual: “The party teenage Stan crashes”
In the bedroom, on the back wall hangs a poster of
Michael Jackson (1958-2009), how he appeared on his 1982 album
“Thriller” 2 time Oscar© winner
Hilary Swank (1974-) is mentioned in this episode along with one of her winning roles, that of
“Brandon Teena” in 1999's
“Boys Don't Cry”.
Vince Chung: “But why don't you show us how Flipper swims backwards again”
Flipper was a dolphin that appeared in tv shows and movies.
One tv show ran from 1964-1967 and the other 1995-2000.
Francine: “Damn it Jim! I'm a doctor”
Francine recites the famous line spoken by the character from
Star Trek (1966-1969),
“Doctor Leonard Bones McCoy”.
The “Jim” she speaks of is of course, “Captain Jim Kirk”
Francine: “No wonder those doctors on Scrubs don't have time to be funny”
The long running former NBC, and now ABC sitcom
“Scrubs” (2001-Present) is mentioned in this episode.
The song playing during the Stan/Steve montage at the end of the episode is 1988's
“Pour Some Sugar On Me” by
Def Leppard from their 1987 album
“Hysteria”