Stan: That's for me to know and you to find out, and I never want you to find out, so it's for me to know.
Francine: This is the first time in 20 winters we've done anything together. And now, you're dumping me to skate with Roger?! Why, Stan, why?!
Stan: Well, honey, I-
Francine: I'll tell you why. Because winning some stupid contest means more to you than your own wife!
Stan: Yes. Thank you! That would have sounded awful coming out of my mouth.
Clifford: Stop, maiden woman! No further shall ye venture without the password.
Clifford: Ugh! What in God's name is wrong with you?
Francine: I thought that was the password.
Clifford: It's not a word. It's a terrible, terrible abomination.
Stan: Roger? Where did you learn to skate?
Roger: On my planet. You really haven't read my MySpace page, have you? You say you have, but you really haven't.
Klaus' Grandson: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You were a fish?!
Klaus: Oh, yeah, that. But Stan, he was a new man, and he-
Klaus' Grandson: Hold on a second. You were a fish! Don't you think that's a better story than two grown-ups ice skating?
Klaus: I was also roommates with Rick Schroeder. You want to hear about that?!
Klaus' Grandson: Yeah!
Klaus: (sigh) Okay. Rick Schroeder sucks. He just, he...he just sucks. He sucks so hard. Rick Schroeder uses women. The end.
Roger: Wow, Stan, you have a real problem with competition. There's no way you can enter that contest.
Stan: You're right. I'm not going to put my wife's life in danger just for a set of wigs.
Roger: Come again?
Stan: The prize is a lousy set of wigs.
Roger: The prize is a set of wigs?
Roger: Wigs you'd probably just put in the attic and never check on to see if anyone were playing with them or borrowing them to audition for the community theater?
Roger: Stan, you've gotta skate in this competition, for Francine. She hasn't been this happy in ages.
Stan: But...you just said I shouldn't-
Roger: That was a test. You failed. God, you're selfish! (Slaps Stan) Bad Stan. Oh, oh, I meant to say, "Bad Stan" and then slap you. Bad Stan! (Slaps Stan again) I don't know, I like it both ways.
Svetlana: Marriage is business contract. I must protect my interests.
Steve: Where did you hear that garbage?
Hayley: It's not garbage. I found her living in your closet, Steve. She's a Russian bride, not a Russian whore. She doesn't have to act like a whore until one of you marries her.
Steve: But you're not married and you're a total whore!
Hayley: That's because I was born in America.
Of Ice and Men
The episode title is a spoof on the title of the classic book: Of Mice and Men.
The Princess Bride
The scenes where Klaus tells the story to his grandson are taken based off scenes from the movie The Princess Bride (1987).
One of the wigs Roger puts on (the orange one, to be specific) is the same exact hair style Velma Flinstone from The Flinstones had.
You really haven't read my MySpace page, have you? You say you have, but you really haven't.
Roger is referring to MySpace.com
, "A place for friends". Myspace serves as an online "meeting" place to meet up with old friends, new friends, or perhaps find a date. Millions of people all over the world have their own personal "myspace" page.
Several of the skating scenes in the episode are based off scenes from skating movies. The first one being when Stan nods "yes" to his old skating partner in the flashback, and she nods back "no"; this was taken from the movie Cutting Edge.
In the scene where the song Gloria is playing; this scene from taken from the movie Flashdance.
Roger: You call that a Salchow?! It looks like you have mad Salchow disease! That's right, your skating has a spongiform encephalopathy, bitch!
Roger is putting a spin on "Mad Cow Disease", a deadly disease that killed many in foreign countries.