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American Dad!
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| Title: | The Best Christmas Story Never |
| Episode Number: | 32 |
| Season: | 2 |
| Season Episode #.: | 9 |
| Production Number: | 2AJN14 |
| Original Airdate: | Sunday December 17th, 2006 |
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| | Other Release Dates: (Edit) | | Country: | Aired On: | |
 United Kingdom |
Mar 13, 2008 |
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When non-believers ruin Stan's Christmas he loses his faith in Christmas all together. The Ghost of Christmas Past visits him and takes him to his past to remind him of the true meaning of Christmas. Once there, convinced that killing Donald Sutherland in the past will change the future, Stan ditches the Ghost of Christmas Past, who then goes back to 2006 to get Francine's help. Meanwhile, Stan makes several mistakes in the past which dramatically change the present.
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| Langley Falls Post front page headline: "Exclusive Photos! Santa Exits Sleigh, Flashes Crotch."
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| Donald Sutherland: (to Jane Fonda) You know, you should get involved in politics. Let's talk about it over drinks. Maybe at my place?
Stan: (to Himself) Let's talk about it over your brains. Maybe all over the place? (Laughs) Delightful.
| Francine: Well, isn't that cute. Roger's making a snow angel...a face down snow angel...in a pile of angel vomit.
Hayley: He's passed out, Mom. He's been binge drinking since Thanksgiving.
| Stan: Have you seen Donald Sutherland?
Martin Scorsese: You might want to check between Faye Dunaway's legs.
| Stan: Francine, I'm going to completely lose my Christmas cheer if I don't get someplace where they understand this holiday pronto.
Francine: We can stop by church.
Stan: I don't need to be bored, Francine. I need to be reminded of what Christmas is all about. To the shopping mall!
| Stan: Ah, this is more like it. Two teenagers sitting on an old man's lap as a midget snaps a picture. If that doesn't commemorate our Savior's birth, I don't know what does.
Hayley: This year, Santa smelled like whiskey and the midget smelled like pot.
Steve: I know! When did they change it up?
| Stan: One of your items, please.
Clerk: How about this cassette?
Stan: Is it 99 cents?
Clerk: It's $1.07 with tax.
Stan: You ever think about changing the sign?
Clerk: It's not really up to me.
| Stan: Well, Merry Christmas.
Clerk: Happy holidays.
Stan: I, uh, said Merry Christmas.
Clerk: Happy holidays.
Stan: Just say Merry Christmas.
Clerk: Management doesn't want us saying that.
Stan: (Pulls out his gun and puts it to the clerk's mouth) Just say it!
| Francine: Stan, did you remember to get a gift for Roger?
Stan: Roger? He's not a Christian. You think he cares that 2,000 years ago our Lord and Savior was born in a mangler?
Francine: Uh, I think you mean "manger."
Stan: No, no, honey, you're thinking of "manager."
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| Roger: This tape is from the future!
Roger becoming rich in the future from finding something in the past from the future is much like a side-story in the 1989 film Back to the Future II.
| Langley Falls Post front page headline: "Exclusive Photos! Santa Exits Sleigh, Flashes Crotch."
The headline is a funny reference to many pictures taken of Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Paris Hilton in 2006 of them exiting their cars with no underwear on.
| Ghost of Christmas Past: You have to help me. I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past and I took your husband back to 1970 and he bolted on me.
The whole "Ghost of Christmas Past" taking someone into the past to show them the error of their ways story is taken from Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol.
| Fellow Employee: So how did the Ryan's Hope audition go?
Ryan's Hope was a popular American soap opera that ran from 1975-89.
| Stan: Have you seen Donald Sutherland?
Martin Scorsese: You might want to check between Faye Dunaway's legs.
Donald Sutherland and Fay Dunaway both stared the the 1984 film Ordeal by Inocence.
| A signifficant part of this episodes revolves around the movie Klute (Jane Fonda and Donald Sutherland both star in this movie, we also visit the set) and we also see the shooting of Taxi Driver with Rober Deniro.
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