Batman: To run for mayor of a great American city like this one. it's a great responsibility, but am I worthy of it?
Robin: If you're not, nobody is, Batman.
Batman: Guardian of the people's trust. No, no, I'm not worthy of it.
The Penguin: So, Old Point-Ears has thrown his cowl into the ring, huh? Good! Once and for all I'll settle matters with that masked moron. And when I'm finished with him, he won't garner enough votes to become elected dogcatcher!
The Penguin: We'll give the voters of this city the kind of campaign that they want. Plenty of girls and bands and slogans and lots of hoopla.But remember, no politics. Issues confuse people. A big smile, hearty handshake, a catchy campaign song. That's the way to win an election!
Batman: After all, the voters are interested in issues, not in window-dressing.
Robin: Sure, Batman. But a little showmanship wouldn't hurt us any.
Batman: No, Robin, I want to conduct a campaign that deals with the issues. I'm convinced that the American electorate is too mature to be taken in by cheap vaudeville trickery. After all, if our national leaders were elected on the basis of tricky slogans, brass bands, and pretty girls, our country would be in a terrible mess, wouldn't it?
The Penguin: Politics is wonderful! I can use all of my lowest, slippery tricks, but now they're legal. Oh, I should have been a politician years ago!
Batman: Bear in mind, Robin, that most politicians are honest servants of the people. The dishonest ones are the exception.
Narrator: Holy Batgraves! An acid bubble bat for Batman and Robin! What a way to lose an election! Batman, don't just lie there! Do something! Whatever you do, don't miss tomorrow's bubbling finish! Same Time, Same Bat-Channel...!
Dick: Hark, is this a dagger which I see before me?
Dick quotes from Macbeth, Act 2, Scene 1, Macbeth's famous "dagger of the mind" soliloquy.