Narrator: Gotham City on a fresh new day which may be fraught with fresh new danger.
Commissioner Gordon: You two will never get away with this!
Egghead: Oh, really, Commissioner, I wish someone would write you a new line. That one is getting so tired.
Chief O'Hara: Batgirl! Thanks heavens you're here. Eh, but why are ye here?
Batgirl: Shall we say a hunch, Chief O'Hara? Some sixth sense that things aren't quite right in Gotham City.
Chief O'Hara: Not only in Gotham City but in this office. The Commissioner's been kidnapped.
Batgirl: Kidnapped! My fa... Commissioner Gordon kidnapped?
Egghead: Never mind the pastrami. Chief O'Hara would like half a dozen eggs. How do you like them, Chief?
Chief O'Hara: Why, you...
Egghead: Now! One hand on me and you'll never see your dear Commissioner again, Chief.
Chief O'Hara: You win, Egghead.
Egghead: Now how did you say you liked your eggs?
Batgirl: My father uses a very rare brand of aftershave lotion called Wellington no 4. It's imported from Sumatra.
Alfred: I know the brand. A former employer of mine, the Earl of Chutney, used to use it. If I remember correctly, its ingredients contain a small amount of curryroot. Which gives it a very pungent aroma, quite unlike any other aftershave lotion.
Batgirl: Yes, the aroma is unmistakable.
Egghead: Don't tell me that you're falling for this cowled clown?
Olga, Queen Of The Cossacks: Maybe. Maybe not. We are seeing.
Egghead: But you are engaged to me! How dare you two-time me. And especially with this caped creep!
Olga, Queen Of The Cossacks: How dare you tell me what to do, me Olga, Queen of the Tsarovian Cossacks.
Egghead: Olga, schmolga! You'd still be washing dishes in that rundown Bessarovian restaurant if it wasn't for me!