Veridian calculates who in the company is genetically compatible with in the hopes they'll breed better children and reduce health care costs. Linda and Ted vow not to give in but soon discover their perfect mates are... perfect. Meanwhile, Veronica wants Lem's perfect sperm, and Phil discovers the company wants him to have a vasectomy.
Veronica discovers that Rose knows all about company layoffs, thanks to her friends in her aftercare group. However, Ted becomes increasingly uncomfortable when Veronica uses the information to save her workers. Meanwhile, Linda tries to publish her first children's book but discovers she's unconsciously based her lemur character on Phil, and Lem discovers he has to pay by the hour to have sex with a company lawyer during business hours.
Dr. Bhamba has an affair with Lem's mother Stella, a famous physicist who dislikes her son for selling out. While Lem deals with his issue, Ted has some issues of his own when the company overlooks him and embraces Linda's improvement on his long-lived long-life light bulb project.
Ted reluctantly gets involved when Veronica loses sleep because of her boyfriend Mordor's energetic sex drive. Meanwhile, Lem gets a unique red lab coat and he and Phil try to puzzle out what it means... unaware that it means nothing.
Cubicle worker Sheila mistakes Linda's comforting hug as sexual harassment, and files a lawsuit. When Ted tries to explain, things go badly and Sheila accuses him of sexual harassment as well. Veronica convinces the company to identify sexual harassment as a disease, but Ted and Linda refuse to be "treated." Meanwhile, Phil and Lem discover that retired robots are not sent to Veridian's "robot farm," and try to save a longtime working associate.
After an employee drops dead during a sleep system project on a tight deadline, Veridian uses his sacrifice to push everyone else to work harder. Ted objects when he realizes they're going to be working 14-hour days even after the current project wraps up. Linda decides to live in the moment, and Lem discovers that everyone thinks he was a friend of the dead man and decides to enjoy the attention.
Ted has to deal with Ryan, an overly talkative security guard who won't leave Ted alone. Meanwhile, Phil and Lem are forced to work with Veronica directly for the first time, and Linda tries to befriend a co-worker who thinks she's needy.
Songs: Sonny & Cher -- I Got You Babe
Veridian inadvertently puts out a memo telling employees "now" to use offensive language. Chaos reigns while Ted decides to loosen up his image, Veronica feels guilty that she won a promotion over a typo, and Phil asks Lem to tutor him in the fine art of insults.
Ted goes head-to-head with Pete, the leader of the Veridian's other development team, when they both are assigned to develop a magnetic levitation belt. Ted wants to take the high road, but Pete has no such concerns... and neither does Veronica, who recruits Linda and Rose. Meanwhile, Phil and Lem break the lab thermostat, but can't admit it without being penalized by the company.
Ted tries to woo a German executive, but she insists on talking... and the only translator device available uses Phil's voice. Meanwhile, Phil and Lem wonder if they're really evil scientists, and Veronica is infuriated when she can't win a bagel-tossing game against Linda.
Ted makes the mistake of landing his lackadaisical brother Billy a job with Veridian's lab supply company. While Billy convinces Leb and Phil to buy lab equipment they don't need, Veronica unexpectedly embraces a charity program for girls.
Veronica is suspicious that Ted might be using his daughter to bond with the boss in an effort to advance his career. Meanwhile, Phil and Lem tentatively start a friendship with Linda.
Phil and Lem embark on a quest to gain respect around the office, Veronica goes on a reluctant treasure hunt inside the Veridian building, and Ted has to confront rumors of staff favoritism.