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Better Off Ted: Jabberwocky

To make Linda happy, Ted lies and tells her the company is going green, and then illicitly reroutes money to finance it. Now all he has to do is explain to Veronica where the money is going.

Episode Info
Episode number: 1x12
Production Number: 1APX04
Airdate: Tuesday August 11th, 2009

Alternate Airdates:

UK (FOX) Aug 31, 2010

Guest Stars
Terry RhoadsTerry Rhoads
As Chet

Co-Guest Stars
Rizwan ManjiRizwan Manji
As Rick
Stefan MarksStefan Marks
As Brett
Yuki MatsuzakiYuki Matsuzaki
As Scientist #1
Keisuke HoashiKeisuke Hoashi
As Scientist #2
Main Cast
Jay HarringtonJay Harrington
As Ted Crisp
Portia de RossiPortia de Rossi
As Veronica Palmer
Andrea AndersAndrea Anders
As Linda Zwordling
Jonathan SlavinJonathan Slavin
As Phil Mymen
Malcolm BarrettMalcolm Barrett
As Lem Hewitt


As Ted prepares to give a fake presentation to the division heads, he wonders how he got in this situation…..

Read the full recap
Episode Quotes
Commercial: Veridian Dynamics. The environment—everyone likes it. And so, we do too. That’s why we’re committed to saving it. Veridian Dynamics is turning every one of our buildings 100% green. It’s ridiculously expensive and spending money makes us sad. But we’re doing it because we love nature, even when it’s being mean or just acting stupid. Veridian Dynamics. Greening our world.

Ted: So how did I get here? Because I like a girl, specifically this girl. And like so many stories about a girl, this one starts with gunplay.

Lem: We've disappointed him.
Phil: No one would want to be us right now, and since we are us right now, it's very difficult.

Veronica: There is no program to green the building.
Ted: Yeah there is. They made a commercial about it.
Veronica: I didn't say there wasn't a commercial about greening the building. I said there is no program to green the building.
Ted: So it's all a lie?
Veronica: They prefer to look at it as a dream.
Ted: But one they're not working towards/
Veronica: Are you working toward all your dreams, Ted? Then stop pointing fingers.

Ted: The company has classified this as confidential.
Linda: But it's a good thing. Why does it need to be confidential?
Ted: Because, uh, if only bad things were confidential, then every time they labeled something as "confidential," people would know it was bad.
Linda: That's weird.
Ted: I know. Then don't do it.

Ted: Oh, man, this lie has spread like mayonnaise at a Baptist picnic.

Veronica: I wish I had the power to make everyone go away. Oh, wait. I do.

Phil: And so we're looking for a way to make Ted feel good about us again.
Lem: Any ideas?
Linda: I don't know. Buy him a candle.
Lem: That's not gonna fly. Ted hates things that light on fire.
Phil: Hey, Ted likes Linda.
Lem: You wanna give him Linda?
Phil: Well, I mean, I wasn't thinking that, but...
Linda: I will be given to no man! I saw that in a movie once. (Phil and Lem stare) Nothing.

Phil: What about bioluminescence? Fireflies have been using it for 2,000 years.
Lem: Fireflies--the flaming plates of the insect world.

Veronica: In a couple of hours we're presenting Jabberwocky to the entire division.
Ted: What? Why'd you agree to that?
Veronica: Oh, really, Ted, is that your strategy, let's make this Veronica's fault?
Ted: You're the only person I told.
Veronica: Wow. It is your strategy. That is so thin.

Ted: I hope you're not upset.
Linda: Nah. You stole from the company for me. How could a girl be mad at someone that does that? You're like my thief in shining armor.

Other Episode Crew

CreatorVictor Fresco
Executive ProducerVictor Fresco
Co-Executive ProducerJustin Adler  |  Dan O'Shannon  |  Michael A. Ross  |  Michael Teverbaugh  |  Michael Glouberman
ProducerMarc Solakian
Consulting ProducerMichael Fresco
Associate ProducerLisa Iannone
Production DesignerDawn Snyder
EditorLisa Bromwell  |  Noel Rogers
CastingLaura Adler  |  Jill Anthony
Unit Production ManagerHoward Griffith
First Assistant DirectorEric Jewett
Second Assistant DirectorJason Roberts (2)
MusicScott Clausen
Costume DesignerBrandy Lusvardi
Key GripBruce Carothers
Set DecoratorDiane Yates
Transportation CoordinatorMike Paventi
Property MasterBruce Mink
Construction CoordinatorGreg Hamlin
Production Sound MixerJaya Jayaraja
Script SupervisorGabi Endicott
Production CoordinatorJohn Barney
Assistant EditorAnn Trulove
Post Production SupervisorJohn M. Myrick
Supervising Sound EditorRandy Thomas
Re-Recording MixerDean Okrand  |  Tamara Johnson
Director of PhotographySharone Meir
Production AccountantSuzie Shimizu
Chief Lighting TechnicianElan Yaari
Department Head HairLorna A. Reid
Department Head Make-upCinzia Zanetti
Music ConsultantKevin Edelman
Original CastingGeraldine Leder  |  Sharon Klein
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