Commercial: Veridian Dynamics. The environment—everyone likes it. And so, we do too. That’s why we’re committed to saving it. Veridian Dynamics is turning every one of our buildings 100% green. It’s ridiculously expensive and spending money makes us sad. But we’re doing it because we love nature, even when it’s being mean or just acting stupid. Veridian Dynamics. Greening our world.
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Ted: So how did I get here? Because I like a girl, specifically this girl. And like so many stories about a girl, this one starts with gunplay.
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Lem: We've disappointed him.
Phil: No one would want to be us right now, and since we are us right now, it's very difficult.
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Veronica: There is no program to green the building.
Ted: Yeah there is. They made a commercial about it.
Veronica: I didn't say there wasn't a commercial about greening the building. I said there is no program to green the building.
Ted: So it's all a lie?
Veronica: They prefer to look at it as a dream.
Ted: But one they're not working towards/
Veronica: Are you working toward all your dreams, Ted? Then stop pointing fingers.
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Ted: The company has classified this as confidential.
Linda: But it's a good thing. Why does it need to be confidential?
Ted: Because, uh, if only bad things were confidential, then every time they labeled something as "confidential," people would know it was bad.
Linda: That's weird.
Ted: I know. Then don't do it.
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Ted: Oh, man, this lie has spread like mayonnaise at a Baptist picnic.
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Veronica: I wish I had the power to make everyone go away. Oh, wait. I do.
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Phil: And so we're looking for a way to make Ted feel good about us again.
Lem: Any ideas?
Linda: I don't know. Buy him a candle.
Lem: That's not gonna fly. Ted hates things that light on fire.
Phil: Hey, Ted likes Linda.
Lem: You wanna give him Linda?
Phil: Well, I mean, I wasn't thinking that, but...
Linda: I will be given to no man! I saw that in a movie once. (Phil and Lem stare) Nothing.
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Phil: What about bioluminescence? Fireflies have been using it for 2,000 years.
Lem: Fireflies--the flaming plates of the insect world.
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Veronica: In a couple of hours we're presenting Jabberwocky to the entire division.
Ted: What? Why'd you agree to that?
Veronica: Oh, really, Ted, is that your strategy, let's make this Veronica's fault?
Ted: You're the only person I told.
Veronica: Wow. It is your strategy. That is so thin.
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Ted: I hope you're not upset.
Linda: Nah. You stole from the company for me. How could a girl be mad at someone that does that? You're like my thief in shining armor.
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