Phil and Lem are blowing up bacteria in the lab when Ted comes in via the back stairs. After checking to make sure the back stairs spiders haven't poisoned him, he explains that came in the back away to avoid Ryan, an overly chatty security guard. Sitting at his desk, he has a lot of time to think about stupid things. Ted doesn't want to insult the guy and isn't sure what to do. Phil and Lem refuse to go past the spiders, so they have to go out the front past Ryan. First Ted and then Phil and Lem get sucked in.
A half-hour later, they get upstairs and Ted lets Phil and Lem go into Veronica's office while he goes to do his budgetary reports. He holds the door shut so they can't get out, and Veronica closes in on them. Once she gets them to stop holding hands from terror, she informs them that Veridian wants the PA system to be fixed. Nobody can understand when they announce toxic gas alerts, which means now everyone panics when anything gets announced. She tells them to design a new wireless system. When they start discussing solutions, she tells them she can't stand their yammering and only one of them is allowed to talk. They have no luck persuading her to change their ways.
Ted tells Linda that he wants to get Ryan reassigned. Linda doesn't see the problem and says that it's always good to talk to people. She points out Mr. Krebs, an older man she claims is dull but always wants to talk so she chats with him. Linda starts up a conversation and the two of them have a great time talking. Once he leaves, Linda tells Ted to accept people as they are. Veronica arrives and tells them that she wants to change Phil and Lem. Veronica agrees with Linda and tells Ted to change Ryan. Ted agrees and vows to change Ryan.
Ted goes to see Ryan, who wants to talk about his toenails. Ted finally gets through to him that he talks too much. Ryan doesn't take it well. When his pregnant wife Sarah arrives, she gushes about how Ted has been such a friend. To avoid awkwardness, Ted tries to fake an incoming call on his cell phone, but it doesn't go well when somebody calls.
Lem has to make the report to Veronica. He explains that each executive will have to wear two control pins, one for the mike and one for the volume. They've put the control pins on the chest, over the nipples for triangulation. Veronica has to explain that it won't work very well with female executives. As the scientists giggle, Veronica tells Lem to assure her they can be fixed and Phil whistles what he needs to know. She tells them that the next time, only one of them will come to her office, and then ties their ties together.
Linda tells Ted that Ryan quit because e he was so upset at what Ted said. Ted feels awful and goes to change things back.
Phil realizes he has to take the next turn. Mr. Krebs comes in and explains that he's trying to avoid a needy blonde who talks his ear off every time she sees him.
Ted goes to Ryan's house with toe medicine and gets a cool reception from Sarah. Ryan invites him in and insults him, and then complains that Ted broke his heart. Ted apologizes and asks him to come back to work and talk as much as he wants. Ryan accepts his offer just as Sarah's water breaks. He's been drinking so he asks Ted to drive them to the hospital, name the baby, and cut the cord. Ted reluctantly agrees to everything but the cord.
Phil is pacing nervously in front of Veronica's office and talking to himself. Linda tries to reassure him but sees Mr. Krebs avoiding her. Phil lets slip that Krebs thinks she's needy. Linda runs after him and complains that he thinks she's needy. He tries to explain that talking with her doesn't brighten his day. Linda says she'll be friendly, but just not to him. As they argue, Krebs gets turned on but Linda is nauseated and walks away.
Ted never gets to the hospital and Sarah delivers in the back of his car.
Phil explains the new mechanism and Veronica tries to put the pin on. When she can't, she tells Phil to put it on. As he admires her neck, he accidentally pricks her and she tells him to get out. He's also turned on the intercom system, and everyone hears her and runs out of the building. They go to investigate and find the building empty. When Veronica criticizes him, he tries to call her on it. However, once he realizes he's dreaming, he runs away.
Ted returns and finds the building empty except for Veronica, who is trying out the intercom speaker. He admits he shouldn't have tried to change Ryan, and Veronica realizes that it didn't do any good to try and change Phil and Lem. Ted promises that he won't ever try to change her, and she figures they have each other. She wants to sing over the intercom and eventually convinces Ted to sing with her.
Share this article with your friends