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Better Off Ted: It's My Party and I'll Lie If I Want To

Veronica is suspicious that Ted might be using his daughter to bond with the boss in an effort to advance his career. Meanwhile, Phil and Lem tentatively start a friendship with Linda.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 2x12
Production Number: 2APX11

Alternate Airdates:

Australia Aug 17, 2010
UK (FOX) Oct 19, 2010

Guest Stars

Co-Guest Stars
Larry UdyLarry Udy
As Man
Claudia ChoiClaudia Choi
As Employee
Main Cast
Jay HarringtonJay Harrington
As Ted Crisp
Portia de RossiPortia de Rossi
As Veronica Palmer
Andrea AndersAndrea Anders
As Linda Zwordling
Jonathan SlavinJonathan Slavin
As Phil Mymen
Malcolm BarrettMalcolm Barrett
As Lem Hewitt
Isabella AcresIsabella Acres
As Rose Crisp


Ted figures that it's okay to lie once in a while. He then meets with his team, who present Veronica with their newest invention: a lie detector. Veronica tests the device and proves that she can will herself to believe anything. Chet comes in and reminds Ted that he and Rose have a miniature gold appointment with Chet and his daughter Olivia. Chet warns that he plans to beat Ted...

Read the full recap
Episode Quotes
Ted: As Veronica has demonstrated with her alarming mixture of sex and death, you two need to recalibrate this so that even she can't fool us.

Veronica: It's not fair, all you people with your kids. Palling around after hours, networking, advancing your careers. And I get left behind just because I don't want to turn my uterus into a human veal farm.
Ted: Well, some call it "the miracle of life," but okay.

Veronica: Just be careful, Ted. There's a reason they call it the "kid mafia."
Ted: Because you started calling it that?
Veronica: Yes. And because one minute you're flying high with Chet, and the next you're buried in the desert with a bullet in your skull. Or whatever the kid equivalent is. Probably something with poop.

Linda: My brother smashed up my car and I need $5,000 to get it fixed. The company said they wouldn't advance it to me unless I agreed to carry a cloned orangutan to term.
Phil: I wouldn't do it. Orangutan arms are so long, they poke out way before the rest of them. The last two weeks of the pregnancy, they'll be picking up everything you drop.
Linda: Thank you. Finally I have a good reason not to be implanted with an orangutan embryo.

Linda: All right, I'll take your money.
Lem: Excellent. Then it's time to lower the gangplank and welcome you aboard the "friend ship."
Phil: Please don't judge us for that.

Ted: Boy, I'd love to be part of Galaxy Omega. It's going to change the way we communicate with animals. Which up until now has been talking with them, getting frustrated with them, and then eating them.

Ted: I'm just thinking about Rose. She would hate Nigeria. You know what they say, it's not just the heat, it's the driving around in the trunk of a car, not knowing if you're going to live or die.

Ted: Actually, getting Rose a dress is a good idea. Thanks, Linda. You really are a girl.
Linda: Yes, I am. And it's not just the genitals. It's a whole lifestyle.

Phil: It's hard being friends with girls.
Lem: It's hard being friends with guys.
Phil: I wish there was a third gender. Something with boobs that was incapable of judgment.

Commercial: Veridian Dynamics. Lying. It's always wrong. But sometimes companies have to say things that aren't 100% true. Is that wrong? No. When companies aren't truthful, it's not because we're bad. It's because we understand things that you don't. Veridian Dynamics. People lie. Companies protect their interests. It's different.

Other Episode Crew

CreatorVictor Fresco
Executive ProducerVictor Fresco
Co-Executive ProducerTim Doyle  |  Kat Likkel  |  John Hoberg  |  Michael A. Ross  |  Michael Teverbaugh
ProducerMarc Solakian
Associate ProducerLisa Iannone
Production DesignerDawn Snyder
EditorRobert Bramwell
CastingJill Anthony  |  Laura Adler
Unit Production ManagerJack Philbrick
First Assistant DirectorEric Jewett
Second Assistant DirectorJason Roberts (2)
Staff WriterIngrid Escajeda
MusicChristopher A. Lee  |  Scott Clausen
Costume DesignerBrandy Lusvardi
Key GripTom Keefer
Set DecoratorAndi Brittan
Transportation CoordinatorMike Paventi
Property MasterKevin Shaw (3)
Construction CoordinatorGreg Hamlin
Production Sound MixerJaya Jayaraja
Script SupervisorRebecca E. Asher
Production CoordinatorJohn Barney
Script CoordinatorEve Weston
Assistant EditorBrad Hawkinson
Post Production SupervisorJohn M. Myrick
Supervising Sound EditorRandy Thomas
Re-Recording MixerTamara Johnson
Director of PhotographyBrian J. Reynolds
Story EditorAudra Sielaff  |  Becky Mann  |  Jordan Young  |  Elijah Aron
Costume SupervisorPatricia McLaughlin
Production AccountantSuzie Shimizu
Chief Lighting TechnicianDerrick Kolus
Department Head HairLorna A. Reid
Department Head Make-upDarla Albright
Music ConsultantKevin Edelman
Original CastingGeraldine Leder  |  Sharon Klein
Assistant To The Executive ProducerChris Luccy
Production StaffRobert Olmedo  |  Jessica Poter  |  Kate A. Ross  |  Jason Suhrke  |  Oscar Sosa  |  Justin Pastyrk  |  Shel Gilbert  |  Christopher Horan  |  Rob Hoffman  |  James Gordon  |  Rick Glassman  |  Patrick Dunn  |  Nickole Doro  |  Thomas Boucher
Writing AssistantDevin Mahoney
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