Ted is forced to admit that Veridian Dynamics is a competitive kind of place. He races Veronica to the elevator, while Lem and Phil compete at hypodermic needle throwing. Ted visits the researchers and tries to get them to buy wrapping paper from his daughter Rose: she’s raising money for school and the winner gets a trip to Disneyland. The guys agree to buy wrapping paper so they can get Ted out of the lab before he sees the syringes stuck in the ceiling. Ted knows all about the needles and gently blackmails them into buying some gift wrap.
Linda comes in to get some specs and one of the needles falls on her. Lem puts a band-aid on it and she leaves. However, Phil realizes the band-aid is actually an energy patch, but they decide it’s best not to tell Linda.
The team meets to discuss their new solar-powered oven project. The U.S. Army plans to drop solar-powered ovens to natives as a present. However, the ovens are toxic in sunlight, and they’ll need more money to eliminate the problem. However, Ted announces another problem: a girl named Cynthia is competing against Rose to sell the most paper, and Ted wants everyone to buy as much wrapping paper as possible. After the meeting, Veronica suggests that Ted get General McMillan, their military contact, to give them the extra funding. Since McMillan is gay and attracted to Ted, Veronica figures it’ll be an easy sell. Ted isn’t as willing but says he’ll do it if Veronica helps Rose win the contest if
Lem and Phil are forced to tackle an overly-energetic Linda to get the patch. She laughs hysterically as they take her down.
At home, Rose isn’t that enthusiastic about selling paper and thinks her dad is too competitive. Ted insists that competition is good and they need to learn more about Cynthia. He discovers that she’s handicapped. The next day, he tells Veronica but she’s unimpressed and insists they shouldn’t crush Cynthia any differently than any other young girl.
When Linda starts sobbing over bagels, Phil and Lem figure there might be something wrong with her and the energy patch is responsible. They still figure their best option is to do nothing.
Working together, Ted and Veronica sell huge amounts of wrapping paper. Linda, still acting erratically, comes over to first praise and then mock Veronica. Phil and Lem finally admit what they’ve done something wrong. The effects will wear off in 24 hours and Ted orders them to watch Linda until she snaps out of it.
At home, Rose tells her father that everyone at school hates her for outselling Cynthia. She asks Ted to let Cynthia win and he reluctantly agrees.
Lem and Phil watch Linda at her apartment. She’s making penny-filled cookies and demanding they eat them. The baby next door cries and Linda goes over to stop it. Fortunately, her mood shifts again and she only steals it and goes back to her apartment.
The next day Ted tells Veronica that Rose doesn’t want to win. She refuses to accept it, and is even less thrilled when Ted points out that since Rose won’t win, he doesn’t have to go on a date with the general. Veronica vows to sell even more wrapping paper. Despite Ted’s best efforts, Veronica sells more paper by offering wrapping paper debt refinancing and market shares. Meanwhile, Linda has recovered from the energy patch and plans revenge against Phil and Lem.
Ted finally gives up and goes on the date with General McMillan. The general agrees to finance the new R&D, and Ted realizes that they’re presents. So he buys all of the wrapping paper and drops it to the native villages. Veronica loses, but she still wins when she points out she’s more anally competitive than Ted is.
Linda tells Phil and Lem that her back is itching. When they check, they find feathers growing on her back. They try to convince her not to call a lawyer, and she finally admits she glued the feathers on to teach them a lesson. She leaves and apologizes to Veronica, who assures Linda she only heard the good things. However, Veronica points out that Linda must be obsessed with her. Linda laughingly denies it and insists that she’d have to be nuts to do that… as she walks off, feathers falling off her back.