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Boston Legal
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| Title: | Witches of Mass Destruction |
| Episode Number: | 23 |
| Season: | 2 |
| Season Episode #.: | 6 |
| Production Number: | 2F03 |
| Original Airdate: | Tuesday November 01st, 2005 |
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Shirley Schmidt and Denise Bauer represent two groups of parents, one Christian and the other Wiccan -- a pagan religion -- who are suing to get rid of a school's Halloween pageant for its wicked witch. The Christians feel their faith is being marginalized by a satanic symbol, and the Wiccans claim that Halloween images stereotype them - especially after the school's principal gives a riveting demonstration of her cackling, green witch. Meanwhile, Garrett Wells takes Cassie, the paralegal with whom he's involved, to see Alan Shore and ask him to represent her in suing the U.S. government, to vindicate the death of her brother, killed in the Iraq war. Shore takes on the unconventional case, but his friendship with Denny Crane is threatened since Crane strongly feels that one shouldn't criticize the military while the country is at war. The strained friendship threatens the annual office Halloween party, where they both were to dress up as giant flamingoes.
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| Denny: I prefer to be alone. Please leave.
Alan: Why?
Denny: No reason.
Alan: If you were to guess at a reason.
Denny: If I were to guess, I'd say maybe I don't want to socialize with a pinko liberal Democrat commie.
Alan: Ahh.
| Denny: Most of the Cranes in my family were flamingos.
| Bob Mathias: What are you gonna do? Turn me into a toad?
Sam Sawtelle: We don't do hexes? (Punches Bob in the face.) We do throw punches, occasionally.
| Brad: Don't you two have anything else to do?
Garrett: We're discussing a case, sir.
Brad: It's not a case. It's an abuse of the judicial process.
Garrett: Yes,... we're discussing that.
| Denny: Drop the case. Do it now.... I'm directing you. Drop it.
Alan: No
| (Denny walks up next to Alan at the party wearing the identical flamingo costume.)
Denny: Tried it on. Looked good. Kept it on. Doesn't mean I forgive you.
Alan: Got it.... You look good in pink.
Denny: Not having sex with you.
Alan: Just the same.
| Denny: Alan, I've loved you like ah...
Alan: Sister?
Denny: We're Americans. And to be critical in a time of war, even the Democrats are smart enough to keep their mouths shut on this.
| Alan: What are you thinking about? It's not a trick question.
Denny: Can't i have a solitary, pensive moment? Keep a thought to myself?
Alan: Ha, ha. You forgot what you were thinking.
| Brad: Do you know your briefcase is smoking?
Alan: 'Tis the season, Brad. Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble and so forth.
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