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Boston Legal: Helping Hands

Daniel Post convinces his new love, Denise Bauer, that he should second-chair in her case against overbearing parents who harass their teenaged daughter’s teacher.

Meanwhile, Shirley Schmidt makes life difficult for Alan Shore as he prepares his defense of Jerry “Hands” Espenson, the firm’s brilliant but quirky attorney who held a cake knife to Shirley’s throat.

And the partners at Crane, Poole and Schmidt worry about Denny Crane’s impending nuptials and the kind of influence his future wife, Beverly Bridge, could have over the firm.

Episode Info

Episode number: 2x12
Production Number: 2F09
Airdate: Tuesday January 17th, 2006

  • Currently 9/10
9/10 (1 Vote cast)
Special Guest Stars
Michael J. Fox
As Daniel Post

Guest Stars
Christian Clemenson
As Jerry Espenson
Currie Graham
As A.D.A. Frank Ginsberg
Joanna Cassidy
As Beverly Bridge
Kelly Connell
As Attorney John Hoberg
Lou Beatty, Jr.
As Judge Gordon Kolodny
Marisa Coughlan
As Melissa Hughes
Takayo Fischer
As Clerk
Audrey Wasilewski
As Traci Carpenter
Megan Gallagher
As Gigi Gering
Michael Kostroff
As Dr. David Cannon
Veronica Cartwright
As Judge Peggy Zeder
Main Cast
James Spader
As Alan Shore
William Shatner
As Denny Crane
Candice Bergen
As Shirley Schmidt
Rene Auberjonois
As Paul Lewiston
Mark Valley
As Brad Chase
Julie Bowen
As Denise Bauer
Justin Mentell
As Garrett Wells


The episode opens with partners Paul, Brad, and Shirley discussing repercussions of Denny marrying Bev and what they can do for damage control. They decide Paul will look up and update Denny's last prenuptial agreement, Brad will investigate the partnership contract, and Shirley will talk to Bev and hear her intentions. They are interrupted by Denny and Bev singing Karaoke in Denny's office. At the arraignment for Jerry, he is in charge with a whole slew of things reasonable (attempted murder, battery, kidnapping) and unreasonable (terrorist threats, torture, false imprisonment, sexual battery). He pleads not guilty by reason if temporary insanity and bail is denied...

Read the full recap
Episode Notes
Ryan Michelle Bathe does not appear in this episode.

The ratings for this episode: Households: 7.9/13, #6; Adults 18-49: 3.3, #7

Episode Quotes
Alan: Good for you, you've enlisted the one prosecutor running for D.A. next year. Tell me, how big was your campaign contribution and is there a matching fund here at the firm we can all go in on.
Shirley: It was sizable and speak to Kim in accounting.

Shirley: Understand that everyone at this firm is considered a witness. Don't expect anyone to help you or speak to you.
Alan: Won't that make for a refreshing change.

Daniel Post: Think of it as the Make a Wish Foundation granting a dying kid his fantasy, if that kid was a rich guy in his 40's.

Daniel Post: Daniel Post.
Denny: Denny Crane.
Daniel Post: I'm a client.
Denny: I'm a partner.
Daniel Post: CEO, Kreisberg-Pellum.
Denny: My name is on the door.

(To Shirley after she learns Jerry is out on Bail.)
Alan: I'm surprised your lackey at the D.A.'s office didn't keep you abreast of this. Perhaps, you didn't tip him enough.

Melissa: So, you won't be mad if I ignore you in the hall and just look at your shoes?
Alan: I'll try to wear nice shoes.

Bev: Did you know he has a position called the Schmidt?
Shirley: Would that be where I read a magazine, while he lies passed out on the floor?

Bev: And why did you screw him?
Shirley: I lost a bet.

Shirley: I came here today with the intention of telling you that if you ever do anything to hurt my friend, Denny, or this firm, I'll see to it you are hunted down legally an literally until you are penniless and left to troll airport bars looking for alcoholic pilots nearing retirement age.

Denise: Let's stop the badgering.
Daniel Post: No one should be able to do that sort of thing to anybody. Unless they, themselves, are actually... a badger.

Alan: Asperger Syndrome? Sounds like something you cure with an ointment.

Bev: You hate me, don't you?
Alan: Bev, I don't know you well enough to hate you, love you, or be indifferent to you.

Denny: She has many fine qualities.
Alan: She makes my friend smile. That's the only quality that matters.

Denny: Alan, Bev is the woman I've always dreamed of... an angel in the bedroom, a whore in the kitchen.
Alan: I think it's the other way around.
Denny: Not last night.

Other Episode Crew

CreatorDavid E. Kelley
Warning: Boston Legal season 2 episode 12 guide may contain spoilers
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