Irma Levine: Our officials are stealing our country, Alan, and we need to stop them and I really need a lawyer.
Alan: And I'm guessing you're not looking for a naked one.
Holly Raines: That's a website for a ski resort.
Brad: Yeah, it's Whistler. Do you ski?
Holly Raines: No, and that's really a shame 'cause here I am freezing my butt off on mount pendejo.
Denny: I heard there were 200 women. That's 400 breasts and you kept them all to yourself.
Daniel Post: Denny's great.
Daniel Post: He doesn't hear a thing anybody says, does he?
Alan: What the hell happened in your interview with Holly Raines?!
Brad: I don't like your tone.
Alan: And you're square, game over!
Brad: Didn't like her. She was only here for the money.
Alan: Brad, everyone from the senior partners to the assistant janitor is only here for the money.
(Pertaining to the Holly Raines interview.)
Alan: This wasn't about sex. This was about bribery.
Shirley: Cut the crap, Alan. It's about boobs and you need a nice pair at the table.
Alan: Politicians are drawn to cameras like flies are drawn to...
Alan: I didn't see you out on the balcony the other night.
Denny: Bev and I had something to do.... Then we did it again.
Denny: Alan I heard that you asked Shirley to be part of your dream team. Why her and not me?
Alan: Shirley has breasts. Ours are just beginning to develop.
Denise: Your funeral is at a bar?
Daniel Post: Well, funeral homes close too early... and they don't have beer.
Alan: Brad, would you agree you owe me one for the egregious way you handled the Holly Raines interview?
Brad: Alan, her attitude was...
Alan: The important thing is I agree that you owe me one.
D.A. Scott Bodnar: I think this job is about more than looks.
Alan: Well, you'd have to think that, wouldn't you?
Alan: Brad, you know you don't actually have to run. On the other hand, you have made a powerful enemy and I think you've learned your lessen about following my lead.
Brad: Thanks, douche bag.
Alan: I'm gonna miss you, Denny, once you're married.
Denny: I'm not going anywhere.
Alan: I've been married. Of course you are.
D.A. Scott Bodnar: If you're looking for a litmus test, just ask Janet Jackson.
This is a reference to Superbowl XXXVIII where Janet Jackson's right breast was exposed by Justin Timberlake during the half time show. The event caused a widespread call for decency on television.
Shirley: This is Boston, home of the Tea Party.
This is a reference to the December 16th, 1773 uprising where two hundred colonist dressed like Native Americans and descended on three docked ships and dumped they're cargo hold of tea into the harbor in response to Britain's duty on tea. The colonist believe the duty was a back door way to get them to pay taxes. Taxes that the colonists refused to pay because they had no representation in the British Parliament.