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Alan Shore files a discrimination suit against a private school that refuses to admit a gifted nine-year-old girl with nerve damage that makes it impossible for her to smile.

Since Brad Chase’s attempt to bribe Denny Crane’s fiancée, Beverly Bridge, failed miserably, she threatens to tell Denny what happened unless Brad can find a legal loophole to save her sickly cat from her ex-husband, who wants to take it off of life support.

Meanwhile, Shirley Schmidt and Julie Bauer defend a teenaged girl who was brutally raped and is now pregnant. The girl wants to sue the Catholic hospital where she was treated because they refused to provide her with emergency contraception.

Episode Info
Episode number: 2x15
Production Number: 2F12
Airdate: Tuesday February 14th, 2006

Alternate Airdates:

NL (RTL 8) Nov 07, 2009

Guest Stars
Andy UmbergerAndy Umberger
As Attorney Morrison
Don McManus (1)Don McManus (1)
As Attorney John Lennox
Joanna CassidyJoanna Cassidy
As Beverly Bridge
Richard V. LicataRichard V. Licata
As Judge Dale Melman
Ron CanadaRon Canada
As Judge Willard Reese
Craig PattonCraig Patton
As Foreperson
Freda Foh ShenFreda Foh Shen
As Dr. Ann Kumi
Hannah Leigh DworkinHannah Leigh Dworkin
As Marissa Deaver
Kelly Smith (1)Kelly Smith (1)
As Amelia Warner
Ken LernerKen Lerner
As Howard Bridge
Kenneth KimminsKenneth Kimmins
As Dr. James Tusten
Mary Beth McDonoughMary Beth McDonough
As Janice Warner
Shannon OShannon O'Hurley
As Theresa Deaver
Steven PorterSteven Porter
As Kevin Willhite
Main Cast
James SpaderJames Spader
As Alan Shore
William ShatnerWilliam Shatner
As Denny Crane
Candice BergenCandice Bergen
As Shirley Schmidt
Rene AuberjonoisRene Auberjonois
As Paul Lewiston
Mark ValleyMark Valley
As Brad Chase
Julie BowenJulie Bowen
As Denise Bauer
Justin   MentellJustin Mentell
As Garrett Wells
Episode Notes
Ryan Michelle Bathe does not appear in this episode.

The front page that Alan shows Marissa has the picture of Rep. Tom DeLay, a Republican from the state of Texas. Tom DeLay is in the middle of an investigation about funds recieved and given as it pertains to his former chief of staff, Ed Buckham, and former deputy chief of staff, Tony Rudy.

Though he remains in the opening credits for another episode, this is Justin Mentell's final appearance.

ArtistSong TitlePlayed When
Louis ArmstrongWhen Your Smiling 

Episode Quotes
Theresa Deaver: These private schools have become so competitive, they don't need to let anyone in who isn't perfect.
Alan: When I was in school, the closest I ever came to that appellation was to be called a perfect bastard.

Attorney Morrison: Barry is 99.9% dead.
Brad: Which makes him .1% alive. The glass is half full your Honor.

Alan: Marissa is the girl who cannot smile.
Chairman of the School: Yes, that was brought to our attention and our hearts go out to her.
Alan: Tell ya what, let's make a deal. Keep your hearts and let the girl into your school.

Alan: Let me tell you two things about myself. I too am a lawyer, I can be painfully vindictive, and I don not play fair.
Chairman of the School: That's three things.
Alan: See, not playing fair already.

Chairman of the School: Mr. Shore, our school has been sued several times, never successfully.
Alan: You know what they say, Lester. You never forget your first time.

Denny: When all else fails and you think you've lost, pretend you won. Works for the President.

(Referring to the beers.)
Shirley: These guys got any friends?
Denise: Not for long

Denny: Alan, I've been thinking about something.
Alan: What's that?
Denny: I want you to kill me.
Alan: The scotch and cigars and the nightly consumption of red meat have that well in hand.

Alan: I'm not gonna shoot you.
Denny: Why not? I'd shoot you.
Alan: Denny, you've been a lawyer in this town for forty years. I'm sure there are plenty of people who'd willingly shoot you.

(To Alan.)
Denny: You... Democrat. Protesting wars. Banning guns. If you nancy's had your way, nobody would ever shoot anybody and then where would we be?

Phyllis Deaver: I had a hard time trying to find you. I called Cruthers, Abbott…
Alan: I was fired. Embezzlement.
Phyllis Deaver: Then I tried Young, Frutt and Berluti…
Alan: Oh, yes. That ended badly.
Phyllis Deaver: And here you are at Crane, Poole and Schmidt.
Alan: For now. And you?
Phyllis Deaver: Still a legal secretary. Although the law isn’t as much fun as it was when I used to watch you
bend it. I need your help. You used to say that I could come to you for anything.
Alan: I meant sexually.
Phyllis Deaver: (Laughs) This is for Marissa.
Alan: She’s lovely Phyliss. She seems to be having a bad day though.
Phyllis Deaver: Marissa can’t smile. She had nerve damage from a car accident. And she had surgery to try
to correct the problem, but it didn’t work. Alan, she’s had a really tough time of it at the public school. She’s
been teased mercilessly.

Cultural References
Judge: The cat's name is Barry Manilow?

Barry Manilow is a grammy award winning artest of such songs as 'Mandy', 'I right the songs', and 'Copacabana (At the Copa)'. He is often maligned by critics.

Alan: And what do you like about Margritte?

Rene Margritte was a 20th century Dutch artest who was a major figure in surrealism.

Alan: Have you ever heard of a Greek philosopher, Epictetus?

Epictetus was a Greek philosopher who lived during the late first century and early second century. He was primarily interested in the ethical implications of Stoicism.

Brad: It's friggin' Shakespeare around here.

Shakespeare was an English playwright who lived from 1564 to 1616. His works include 'Romeo and Juliet', 'Macbeth', 'A Midsummer Night's Dream', and many others. His plays are taught and read in almost all high schools in the United States.

Phyllis Deaver: Then I tried Young, Frutt and Berluti
Alan: Oh, yes. That ended badly.

This is one of the few references to The Practice, the show that spunoff Boston Legal. Young, Frutt and Berluti is the name of the law firm from The Practice where Alan Shore and Tara Wilson formerly worked.

Other Episode Crew

CreatorDavid E. Kelley
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