Alan: Denny, what would you do if you met God?
Denny: I'd take him fishing.
Denny: He'd probably want to wrestle me for Shirley.
Alan: Indeed again.
Denny: You shouldn’t smoke. It’ll stunt your… uh… never mind.
Judge Brian Hooper: Your client killed my wife. There’s no evidence of anyone even being there.
Paul: Except you.
Judge Brian Hooper: Is that where you’re going with your defense, Paul?
Paul: We will go down any path that leads to reasonable doubt. And yes, my friend,… that is a threat.
Shirley: Men don’t get over me.
Shirley: Not to sound immodest, I’m really good in bed. In fact, I’m rather phenomenal.
Alan: If I should ever like to drive your car?
Denny: I’d toss you my keys.
Alan: If I should ever need money?
Denny: My check is blank.
Alan: Or need to pick your brain.
Denny: My mind is blank.
Alan: Do you think we win too much? Are we losing all suspense?
(Hands a piece of paper to his homeless client.)
Alan: Here’s a check for $5000.
Alan: It’s an experimental program. It’s called, “We the fortunate should endeavor to help the less fortunate.” I’m sure it will never fly.
Before Alan’s entrance at the wrestling match for Shirley, Denny’s cigar was short and well chewed. After Alan gets in the ring, Denny’s cigar is longer and not as chewed.
Alan: I didn’t know Massachusetts had cannibals.
Shirley: It’s, “Don’t ask. Don’t tell.”
Don't ask don't tell was the position the U.S. military took on the subject of homosexuals in in the service.
Alan: Admit it, Shirley. You’re drawn to me like Eve to the Serpent.
Eve was the wife of the first man created by God in Christianity and Judaism. She was seduced by the devil in the guise of a serpent and committed the first sin by disobeying Gods wishes to not eat from the Tree of Knowledge.
Alan: Can he pee in a cup first? I don’t trust his testosterone level.
Denny: Mine’s naturally high.
This is a reference to the winner of the 2006 Tour de France, Floyd Landis, who was later found to have a elevated ratio of testosterone in his system that cost him the title.
I lay awake in bed last night… taking a measure of our friendship. Do you ever do that?
Denny: We’re flamingos
This is a reference to the episode, "Witches of Mass Destruction
", were Denny and Alan dressed up as flamingos for Halloween.
Why don’t you take the girl I married last year? You can have her.
This is a reference to the episode, "...There's Fire!
", where he married Beverly Bridge and promptly got an annulment.