Series 5, Auditions 1 - Recap

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Week One of Auditions and Britain’s Got Talent kicks off with a new series with Ant and Dec as the hosts of the show. However they have new judges. Amanda Holden returns for another season, but David “The Hoff” Hasselhoff and Michael McIntyre are the new judges that are going to be judging the thousands of contestants of Britain this year. They start in Liverpool.

Mary Sumah-Keh is the first to audition and she gets excited because she thinks that Amanda is Joanna Lovely from “Absolutely Fabulous”. She recognizes “The Hoff” but doesn’t recognize Michael at all. He lies and says that he is Simon Cowell. She starts her “act” which consists of blowing on a harmonica and dancing around the stage. They all buzz her and Amanda says that she is a lovely woman, but says that it is not worth it. David says that it was not good at all. Michael lies and says that he would have said yes for her.

This sets off a montage of horrible acts that include John Courtney, who is dressed as an Indian chief and gets rejected, Christine Fraser, who tries her hand at comedy and she is not funny at all, and Peter Wakefield who tries to sing “Yellow Submarine”, to which Michael says that everyone in Liverpool is prone to sing “The Beatles” on cue and it was horrible. The new judges beg for some good talent to come.

They pack up and move on to Birmingham to see if they have talent and first up is David Knight, a 9-year-old comedian. He comes out on stage and introduces himself and David says that he could be his son with that name making reference to “Knight Rider”. They ask him why he is here and he tells that he had a local competition that he won and everyone was knacking him to audition. Michael asks who he likes in comedy and David says Harry Hill to which Michael tells that he is judging him. He buzzes as a joke. He starts his act and he is pretty funny. He gets everyone to all laugh at his jokes. Michael says that he is very talented and hopes that he can get to the top of comedy. Amanda and David agree and the judges all say yes.

Michael is getting used to his buzzer and finds it hard to buzz acts that are obviously horrible. As the acts come on stage, Michael hesitates until one act he decides that is too much and buzzes a man painted gold. The man gets up and leaves despite Amanda and David not buzzing him. He leaves without a comment and Michael feels a little bad.

Donelda Guy is next with dogs Mega and Beeba. She tells that she learned to train them to freestyle dance. They start their act and the dogs are really good at learning the choreography. They move around the stage with no mistakes. David says that she was elegant, fantastically rehearsed. Amanda says that it was completely flawless. Michael says that finale was great and tells that she has control over her dogs. The judges all give Donelda a yes.

This sets off a montage of positive answers with Bruce Sistaz where they show off their martial arts skills, a few dance troupes, Marawa the hula hooper and a huge group of little kids of 50 kids or so called “Freeman Dance”. They all get a yes to go through to the next round in the competition.

The Britain’s Got Talent stage goes back to Liverpool and the next act up is Blaire Christie. He has painted himself blue and he tells that he is a financial analyzer. He comes out on stage and has balloon on his head and makes a weird sound with his mouth. He stops his act and everyone is confused. He says that he is a dolphin. Immediately all the judges buzz him and Michael tells his act is why Britain is in financial ruin.

The judges get comfortable in their seats and get to know one another. This sets off a montage of them talking and seeing horrible acts like UFO, a pair of horrible singers, The Bums, a group of horrible drummers, and Tongue & Cheek, a pair of fitness people who are horrible at their dance routine and get buzzed right off the stage.

Hoping to turn it around for Liverpool is Steven Hall and he is telecommunications engineer. He begins his act and he is like the “Evolution of Dance” guy and it is funny with his song choice and he gets a standing ovation from the audience and Amanda and David. Amanda says thank you for the dance and surprise. Michael says that he was born to dance and says that it was exhilarating. David says that it was brilliant. They all say yes to him.

Auditions move to Cardiff and first up is Antonio Popeye and his talent is eye-popping. He comes out and surprises the entire audience and judges with his bizarre talent. He dances around while doing his talent and at the end, David says that it was interesting. Michael says that his act should go all the way and the other judges agree. Antonio moves on to the next round of the competition.

This sets off a montage of David Hasselhoff showing off his energy that he shows and the reference to “Knight Rider” with him talking in his watch to Kit the car. He gets comfortable in his new judging seat as one act after another comes out on stage.

Next up is Michael Collings, an IT specialist who just got married and is expecting a baby with his wife. He says that he is going to sing and play the guitar. He comes out on stage and surprises everyone with his talent of singing and he gets a standing ovation at the end. David says that is the best reaction they got all day and did a beautiful job. Amanda says that she didn’t expect much, but says that he was amazing. Michael says that it was an instant moment and it was great. He gets all three judges to send him to the next round.

Back to Birmingham, Gay and Allan are the last of the evening and they are bell ringers. They are going to be playing bells to music and show that bell ringing is a talent after all. They come out on stage and they are rather quite talented with ringing bells to “My Heart Will Go On” from “Titanic”. The audience gets into it and sings along with their ringing. At the end, Michael says that he loved it, Amanda found it touching and beautifully done and David says that it was breathtaking. They move on to the next round and the auditions come to a close as the judge say goodbye.