Episode Quotes
Giles: What do you want?
Owen: A book?
Giles: Oh!
Buffy: See, this is a school, and we have students, and they check out books, and then they learn things.
Giles: I was beginning to suspect that was a myth.
Owen: I lost my Emily. Dickinson. It's dumb, but I like her around. Kind of a security blanket.
Buffy: I have something like that. Well, it's an actual blanket. Uh, and I don't really carry it around anymore... So! Emily Dickens, huh? She's great!
Owen: Dickinson.
Buffy: She's good also.
Xander: (in public) So, Buffy, how did the slaying go last night?
Buffy: Xander!
Xander: I mean, how did the laying go? No, I don't mean that either.
Giles: Alright, I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.
Buffy: Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm.
Giles: Well, you know what they say. 90% of the vampire slaying game is - is waiting.
Buffy: You couldn't have told me that 90% ago?
Giles: If your identity as the Slayer is revealed it could put you and all those around you in grave danger.
Buffy: Well, in that case I won't wear my button that says, "I'm the Slayer, ask me how!"
Xander: So you just went home?
Buffy: What was I supposed to do? Say to Owen, "Sorry I was late, I was sitting in a cemetery with the librarian waiting for a vampire to rise so I could prevent an evil prophecy from coming to pass"?
Xander: Or "flat tire"?
Buffy: If the apocalypse comes, beep me.
Giles: Uh, two more of the brethren came in here. They came after me. But I was more than a match for them.
Buffy: Meaning?
Giles: I hid.
Giles: Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires and have a social life, I didn't mean at the same time.
(After Buffy stakes a vampire, Giles finds a ring in its dust)
Buffy: Oh, that's great! I kill 'em, you fence their stuff.
Buffy: We haven't been properly introduced. I'm Buffy, and you're history!
Buffy: Do you have any more copies of Emily Dickinson? I need one.
Giles: Buffy, while the mere fact of you wanting to check out a book would be grounds for a national holiday, I think we should focus on the problem at hand.
Owen: Where were you last night?
Buffy: Oh. Well, um, my watch broke and we don't have any clocks in our house and so I didn't know what time it was or even what day it was...
Willow: So, where's he taking you?
Buffy: Oh, I don't know. Where do you suppose young kids go on dates these days?
Willow: Well, I read somewhere once that sometimes they go to movies.
Buffy: Movies! Interesting!
Willow: And I saw on TV once, a bunch of people our age went to a party.
Buffy: Wow, I never knew being a teenager was so full of possibilities.
Owen: (about Buffy) What, she doesn't like to dance?
Xander: Well, it's a little too late to do anything about that. Uh, you should probably know that Buffy doesn't like to be kissed. Actually she doesn't like to be touched.
Willow: Xander...
Xander: As a matter of fact, don't even look at her.