Joyce: But, um, maybe we could spend some time together soon? Some night when I'm not being held hostage by a raving psychotic.
Faith: Why, yes, I would be Buffy. May I help you? Buf-fy. You can't do that - it's wrong. You can't do that because it's naughty. Because it's wrong. Because it's wrong. You can't do that. It's wrong, I'll kick your ass. I'm gonna kill you.
Willow: Buffy's like my best friend, and she's really special, plus, you know, a Slayer, that's a deal, and there's the whole bunch of us, and we have this group thing that kind of revolves around the slaying and I really want you to meet them and meet Buffy but I just sort of like having something that's just, you know, mine. I don't usually use that many words to say stuff that little. But do you get it at all?
Tara: I do.
Willow: Well, I should check in with Giles, get a situation update.
Tara: I am, you know.
Faith: Cops took her off my hands about an hour ago. Poetic justice.
Anya: How's that?
Faith: Well, she did all those crimes, and now she's being arrested. I guess that's just regular justice.
Faith: Faith is evil.
Willow: Yeah, I hope they throw the book at her.
Giles: I'm not sure there is a book for this.
Willow: They could throw other things.
Willow: I wish those Council guys would let me have an hour alone in the room with her... if I was larger and had grenades.
Anya: So what you're saying is that everything's fine?
Giles: Um, yes.
Anya: Well, I'm glad you called us all here because that information could never be conveyed by telephone.
Anya: We were going to light a bunch of candles and have sex near them.
Faith: Well, we certainly don't want to cut into that seven minutes.
Xander: I believe that's my "hey." Hey!
Willow: The Bronze is the coolest place in Sunnydale. Of course, there's not a lot of competition. I think the vending machine at Burgin's came in second.
Willow: We'll get together with Buffy another time. Sometime soon. I think you'll really like her.
Tara: She's not your friend.
Willow: I may have overestimated the "you liking her" factor.
Buffy: Okay, Giles, you have to listen to me very carefully. I'm not Faith.
Giles: 'Cause the resemblance is striking.
Giles: If you are Buffy, then you'll let me tie you up... without killing me... until we find out whether you're telling the truth.
Buffy: Giles, Faith has taken my body, and for all I know she's taken it to Mexico by now. I don't have time for bondage fun.
Buffy: Oh, when I had psychic power I heard my mother think that you were like a stevedore during sex. Do you want me to continue?
Giles: Actually, I beg you to stop.
Buffy: What's a stevedore?
Giles: Damn it, man, we have to get inside! Our, um, uh... our families are in there! Our, um, mothers, and tiny, tiny babies!