Willow: I don't care if it is an orgy of death, there's still such a thing as a napkin.
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Buffy: A nest. No biggie. I bet I could do it. I mean, I know I could take at least two.
Anya: Yes. And then we could run for help while the other three suck your heart out through your neck.
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Anya: They weren't very well organized. If they had all rushed at Buffy, they could have killed her right away.
Buffy: Thanks, Anya. That won't keep me awake all night.
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Spike: Back off, Betty.
Buffy: It's Buffy! You big, bleached... stupid guy!
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Buffy: There's no way he could know. I mean, you don't just look at someone and say, "Hey, that's not your body. Get out of that body with your hands up!"
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Riley: (about Xander and Anya) Quite the couple, aren't they?
Buffy: They get into a fistfight, I got a 50 on Anya.
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Anya: Xander?
Xander: Yeah.
Anya: Let's go have sex now.
Xander: Yeah. Okay.
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Willow: Buffy, this is Jonathan. You know he doesn't get scared. You talked about it when you gave him the Class Protector award at the Prom.
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Anya: Xander's not here.
Buffy: Oh.
Anya: You're not going away. Why aren't you going away?
Buffy: Well, I was kind of hoping… to… look…. at some of Xander's stuff.
Anya: Oh. Sure. Come in. Make yourself at home. And so on.
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Anya: Oh, you're still here? That's nice.
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(Buffy grabs the book Anya is reading)
Anya: Hey! I was just at the part where he invented the Internet.
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Buffy: I'm just saying it doesn't make any sense. He starred in The Matrix, but he never left town. And how'd he graduate from Med school? He's only 18 years old.
Xander: Effective time-management?
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Buffy: I was just kind wondering… if maybe… anyone else thought… that Jonathan…was kind of too perfect?
Xander: No, he's not. He's just perfect enough. He crushed the bones of The Master, he blew up a big snake made out of Mayor and he coached the U.S. women's soccer team to a stunning World Cup victory. We saw him doing those things.
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Buffy: Giles, do you have a Jonathan swimsuit calendar?
Giles: No. Yes. It was a gift.
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Anya: And who really did star in The Matrix?
Riley: Wait, that wasn't real either?
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