Buffy: Well, at least no major organs got kebabed.
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Dawn: Did I just pull a Slayer-related Mom cover-up thing? Come on. Who's the man?
Buffy: You are. A very short, annoying man.
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Dawn: When do I get to patrol?
Buffy: Not until you're never.
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Xander: What's with the hand wave? You see that? Does that, like, mean something?
Willow: It's code. I think it breaks down to "choo-choo!"
Anya: It probably means to follow him. That, or wait here for him.
Willow: (whispers) Ask.
Xander: (yelling) Hey, Riley? What's the, uh (gestures) all about?
Riley: It means "Yell real loud so the vampires who don't know we're coming will have a sporting chance."
Xander: See? Now he's all mad and sarcastic.
Willow: It's because you were doing all that yelling, Mr. Stealthy-pants.
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Giles: What does it say?
Buffy: Same as all the others. "Slayer called, blah, blah. Great protector, blah, blah. Scary battles, blah, blah. Oops! She's dead."
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Buffy: Why didn't the Watchers keep fuller accounts of it? The journals just stop.
Giles: Well, I suppose if they're anything like me, they just find the whole subject too --
Buffy: Unseemly? Damn. Love ya, but you Watchers are such prigs sometimes.
Giles: Painful, I was going to say.
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Spike: Since I agreed to your little proposition, we can do this my way. Wings.
Buffy: What?
Spike: Spicy buffalo wings. Order me up a plate. I'm feeling peckish.
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Buffy: Were you born this big a pain in the ass?
Spike: What can I tell you, baby? I've always been bad.
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Female Partygoer: Have you heard? They call him "William the Bloody" because of his bloody awful poetry.
2nd Male Partygoer: It suits him. I'd rather have a railroad spike through my head than listen to that awful stuff!
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Buffy: So you traded up on the food chain. Then what?
Spike: No, please! Don't make it sound like something you'd flip past on the Discovery Channel.
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Spike: Becoming a vampire is a profound and powerful experience. I could feel this new strength coursing through me. Getting killed made me feel alive for the very first time.
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Angelus: You've got me and my women hiding in the luxury of a mine shaft, all because William the
Bloody likes the attention. This is not a reputation we need.
Spike: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I sully our good name? We're vampires.
Angelus: All the more reason to use a certain amount of finesse.
Spike: Bollocks! That stuff's for the frilly cuffs-and-collars crowd. I'll take a good brawl any day.
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Darla: (singsong) I think our boys are going to fight.
Drusilla: The King of Cups expects a picnic, but this is not his birthday.
Darla: Good point.
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Spike: When was the last time you unleashed it? All out fight in a mob, back against the wall, nothing but fists and fangs? Don't you ever get tired of fights you know you're going to win?
Angelus: No. A real kill, a good kill - it takes pure artistry. Without that, we're just animals.
Spike: Poofter!
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Angelus: You can't keep this up forever. If I can't teach you, maybe someday an angry crowd will. That or the Slayer.
Spike: What's a Slayer?
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Spike: The first one was all business, but the second, she had a touch of your style. She was cunning, resourceful - oh, and did I mention... hot? I could have danced all night with that one.
Buffy: You think we're dancing?
Spike: That's all we've ever done.
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Spike: Come on, I can feel it, Slayer. You know you want to dance.
Buffy: Say it's true. Say I do want to. It wouldn't be you, Spike. It would never be you. You're beneath me.
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Spike: Beneath me. I'll show her. Put her six bloody feet beneath me. Hasn't got a death wish. Bitch won't need one.
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Harmony: Okay, I'm trying to be supportive here, so don't drive a stake through my heart like last time. But you can't kill Buffy. She's the Slayer. She is so gonna kick your ass.
Spike: I've got two barrels here that'll prove you wrong.
Harmony: I knew you'd take this personally. You're so sensitive! How are you gonna kill her? Think! The second you even point that thing at her, you're gonna be all "Aaagh!" And then you'll get bitch-slapped up and down Main Street, unless she's had enough and just stakes you.
Spike: Sure, it'll hurt like Hell for about 2 hours, but she'll be dead just a little longer than that.
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