Episode Quotes
Buffy: Arrive? They're coming here? Now? W-why do they have to come here?
Xander: Yeah, don't they have phones? "Allo, Buffy, here's some stuff we know, pip pip."
Buffy: Yeah! Phones. See, I'd like them on phones.
Buffy: (about the Watcher's Council) They put me through that test, and it almost killed me. And then, when I was Faith, they almost killed me again. Honestly, I really can't handle almost being killed right now.
Buffy: (about Dawn) She was listening.
Willow: Does it matter? I mean, is she really going to set the junior high-school buzzing with, "Ooh, there's a delegation a-comin'."
Lydia: There are some very potent elements here - focusing crystals, runic artifacts, an Amulet of Coldis. Also this statue. Its removal from Burma is a criminal offense and when triggered, has the power to melt human eyeballs.
Giles: In that case, I severely underpriced it.
Giles: You all stand around and look somber. Good job.
Travers: You used to respect us, Giles. You used to be one of us.
Giles: You used to pay me. If you recall, firing me was not my idea.
Buffy: Spike, why did you do that?
Spike: Not for money, if that's what you're thinking. Your heartfelt gratitude's plenty. I expect I'll be getting that any moment.
Buffy: Gratitude? For getting in my way?
Spike: Ge-getting in your way? I saved you.
Buffy: I was regrouping.
Spike: You were about to be regrouped into separate piles.
Giles: (about Travers) I should have set you loose on them, that's what I should have done.
Buffy: Giles, that Travers guy is, like, 60. I can't hit him. Can I?
Giles: I suppose not. Well, I could. I think I will.
Anya: Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins. 20 years old, born on the fourth of July. And don't think there weren't jokes about that my whole life, mister, 'cause there were. "Who's our little patriot?" they'd say, when I was younger, and therefore smaller and shorter than I am now.
Willow: Questions. Great.
Tara: W-we can answer questions.
Nigel: Well, I need to know a little bit more about the Slayer, and about the both of you - your relationship, whatever you can tell me.
Tara: Our - our relationship?
Willow: We're friends.
Tara: Good friends.
Willow: Girlfriends, actually.
Tara: Yes, we're girlfriends.
Willow: We're in love. We're... lovers. We're lesbian, gay-type lovers.
Nigel: I meant your relationship with the Slayer.
Tara: Um... just good friends.
Philip: So, you have no special skills, or powers, or knowledge that you bring to the mix. Neither of you.
Anya: Just enthusiasm for killing the demons. Go deadness for the demons.
Xander: I don't have any powers, but I do help.
Philip: How? Be specific.
Xander: Last year, uh, Willow, Giles and me combined our essences with Buffy, which isn't as weird as it sounds. We merged, and I was the heart part of a super-Buffy. Again, let me stress the not-as-weird thing.
Anya: I'm told it was all very professional.
Joyce: I love what you've, um, neglected to do with the place.
Spike: Just don't break anything. And don't make a lot of noise. Passions is coming on.
Joyce: Passions? Oh, do you think Timmy's really dead?
Spike: Oh, no, no. She can just sew him back together. He's a doll, for god's sake.
Joyce: Ah, what about the wedding? I mean, there's no way they're gonna go through with that.
Xander: Look at them. Big tough Council members pickin' on the books.
Willow: Fascists.
Tara: Why doesn't Mr. Giles put them all out of here?
Xander: Because if they deport him, they're not just destroying his career, they're…condemning the man to a lifetime diet of blood sausage, bangers, and mash.
Buffy: You guys didn't come all the way from England to determine whether or not I was good enough to be let back in. You came to beg me to let you back in, to give your jobs, your lives some semblance of meaning.
Nigel: This is beyond insolence.
(Buffy throws the sword at the wall, just missing Nigel)
Buffy: I'm fairly certain I said no interruptions.
Buffy You're Watchers. Without a Slayer, you're pretty much just watchin' Masterpiece Theater. You can't stop Glory. You can't do anything with the information you have except maybe publish it in the Everyone Thinks We're Insane-os Home Journal. So here's how it's gonna work. You're gonna tell me everything you know. Then you're gonna go away. You'll contact me if and when you have any further information about Glory. The magic shop will remain open. Mr. Giles will stay here as my official Watcher, reinstated at full salary.
Giles: (coughs) Retroactive.
Buffy: To be paid retroactively from the month he was fired. I will continue my work with the help of my friends.
Buffy: We're talking about two very powerful witches and a thousand-year-old ex-demon.
Anya: Willow's a demon?
Philip: The boy? No power there.
Buffy: The boy has clocked more field time than all of you combined. He's part of the unit.
Willow: That's Riley-speak.
Xander: I've clocked field time.
Buffy: Just tell me what kind of demon I'm fighting.
Travers: Well, that's the thing, you see. Glory isn't a demon.
Buffy: What is she?
Travers: She's a god.
Buffy: Oh.