Spike: It's just, we took on that Glory chippie together, I was right there with you, fightin' the fight.
Buffy: Actually, you were sleeping the sleep of the knocked unconscious.
Xander: (to Spike) Hey, uh, Evil Dead, you're in my seat.
Spike: Bugger it. (leaves)
Anya: Xander, I think you may have hurt his feelings.
Xander: And you should never hurt the feelings of a brutal killer. You know, that's, uh, that's actually some pretty good advice.
Buffy: Poor Will. Still getting those headaches?
Willow: Fewer and further between, but, yep, they're still exercising their visitation rights.
Xander: The point is, I work hard for that money.
Spike: And you're saying I didn't?
Xander: You stole it!
Spike: And you're making it into very hard work!
Willow: What'd you think, Buffy?
Buffy: The test isn't till tomorrow, right? I don't have an opinion till then.
Willow: But, you read it, right?
Buffy: Kinda not. I rented the movie.
Tara: Oh, with, um - with Charles Laughton?
Buffy: I don't know. Was he one of the singing gargoyles?
Dawn: I'm not even human. Not originally.
Spike: Yeah, well, originally I was. I got over it. Doesn't seem to me it matters very much how you start out.
Dawn: And the lady just invited you in?
Spike: Well, I had hubby by the throat, didn't I? Promised her he'd live if she gave me the invite.
Dawn: And did you? Let him live?
Spike: What do you think? Too much for you?
Dawn: No. Keep going.
Spike: And I kill 'em. Right quick, the whole lot. But... there's someone missing. Supposed to be... this little girl. So I get real quiet and I hear this tiny noise coming from the coal bin. This little sigh. So I listened harder. It's very, very quiet...
(Buffy bursts into the crypt)
Spike: Oh, bloody hell.
Buffy: Spike, I need your help. Dawn is... (sees Dawn) here.
Dawn: Spike was just telling a story and he was just at this really cool part --
Buffy: (to Spike) What the hell is this? What is she doing here?
Dawn: Just hanging out.
Dawn: Can you please let him finish the story? Then you could do the lecture?
Buffy: Yeah. Okay. Let's hear the story that Spike is telling my little sister.
Spike: Right. Yeah. So, uh, I knew the girl was in the coal bin. And I rip it open, very violent, haul her out of there... and then I give her to a good family in a nice home where they're never ever mean to her, and didn't lock her in the coal bin.
Dawn: What? That's so lame.
Buffy: These vamps have been here for a while. They've nested.
Spike: So, you're saying they're a couple of poofters?
Buffy: What is this? The late-night stakeout, the bogus suspects, the flask. Is this a date?
Spike: A - Please! A date? You are completely off your bird! I mean - Do you want it to be?
Spike: You can't deny it. There's something between us.
Buffy: Loathing. Disgust.
Spike: Heat. Desire.
Buffy: Please! Spike, you're a vampire.
Spike: Angel was a vampire.
Buffy: Angel was good!
Spike: And I can be too. I've changed, Buffy.
Buffy: What, that chip in your head? That's not change. Tha-That's just... holding you back. You're like a serial killer in prison!
Spike: Women marry 'em all the time!
Buffy: You don't know what you mean! You don't know what feelings are!
Spike: I damn well do! I lie awake every night!
Buffy: You sleep during the day!
Spike: Yeah, but... You are missing the point.
Joyce: Honey, did you somehow, unintentionally, lead him on in any way? Uh, send him signals?
Buffy: Well, I do beat him up a lot. For Spike that's like third base.
Joyce: Better to nip this in the bud before --
Buffy: The bud nips me?
Willow: If you want, Buffy, I can go with. Back you up with some scowling.
Buffy: Besides, you know, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this - this whole thing's just been blown way out of proportion and he's already gone back to wanting me dead.
Willow: Here's hoping.
Spike: I love you.
Buffy: Oh, my God.
Spike: Hey, no, look at me. I... love you. You're all I bloody think about... dream about. You're in my gut, my throat. I'm drowning in you, Summers. I'm drowning in you.
Spike: I can do without the laugh track, Dru.
Drusilla: But it's so funny. I knew... before you did. I knew you loved the Slayer. The pixies in my head whispered it to me.
Buffy: That doesn't prove anything except that you're a sick miserable vampire that I should have dusted a long time ago. And, hey, already there.
Spike: Don't mock this.
Buffy: Go mock yourself.
Spike: If you don't admit that there's something there, some tiny feeling for me, then I'll untie Dru, let her kill you instead.
Drusilla: Yes, please. I like that game much more.
Spike: Just... give me something. A crumb... the barest smidgen. Tell me, maybe, someday, there's a chance.
Buffy: Spike....the only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious.
Spike: Gaaah! What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody women?! What the hell does it take?! Why do you bitches torture me?!
Buffy: Which question do you want me to answer first?
Spike: You can't just walk away from this.
Buffy: What part of punching you in the face do you not understand?
Spike: So we had a fight. It's not our first, love. It doesn't change anything.
Buffy: It changes everything, Spike! I want you out. I want you out of this town, I want you off this planet! You don't come near me, my friends, or my family again, ever! Understand?