Sara: I don't have a death wish and I'm not a drunk, in case you were worried.
Grissom: I'm not worried.... I'm concerned.
Sara: Isn't that kind of the same thing?

Greg: What are you doing?
Grissom: Good, you're here. (Grissom throws a urine specimine cup towards Greg) Fill this up for me will you?
Greg: With what?
Grissom: It's a urine specimen cup Greg, what do you think?
Greg: Ok (Greg walks away)
Greg comes back with a full cup.
Grissom: That took a long time, you may need a prostate exam.
Greg: My prostate is just fine, I'm not a soda fountain.
Grissom: Hopefuly you are because I need a number 2 as quickly as possible.
Greg: What is this all about?

Greg: This is some kind of CSI hazing making me appreciate blood & semen more.

Sara: I heard you finally lost your virginity.
(Greg looks at confused)
Sara: First autopsy. How was it?
Greg: It was fine. How was your first time? How did you react?
Sara: I puked.
Greg: I didn't puke.
Sara: Way to go, tough guy.

Grissom: If you're gonna be sick, Greg, do it in the sink.
Dr. Robbins: Not in the drain pan.
Greg: I don't feel sick.

Grissom: Well, at least we know where he came from.
(Grissom shines his flashlight into the darkness of the storm drain. Warrick turns and looks.
Catherine grimaces.)
Catherine: Aren't we at least gonna draw straws?
Grissom: No.

Brass: Well, the kid gets murder, mom's an accessory, and dad gets felony explosives.
It's a family-value pack.