Chuck: General, the Ring is going to try and kill the president of Zamibia at the Beethoven concert tomorrow night.
Casey: Tomorrow night? You could have done this in the morning? You know how dear my sleep is to me, Bartowski.

Casey: General, permission to slap Bartowski. He had a bad dream.

Lester: I'm just gonna say it: I need a woman. It's been far too long, Jeffrey. A man has needs.
Jeff: So what's the plan?
Lester: I will be hitting on all the applicable women in Electronics, DVDs, and all around the entrances, and the emergency exits.
Jeff: You're leaving me Home Appliances? It's full of lumpy housewives. My favorite.
Lester: You're welcome.

Anna: Hi, guys. Long time, no smell.
Jeff: She remembered our smell.

Lester: Well, I hate to be the one to tell you this--I don't really--but Morgan is in, a, umm... a very bad place.
Anna: Oh, my God, is he okay?
Jeff: No. He's focused, responsible, driven. Pains me to see a man end up like that.
Lester: It's pathetic.

Chuck: Now remember, Morgan, my code name is Charles Carmichael.
Morgan: Yeah. Yeah. I got it. I got it. Mine's Cobra. Okay, let's do this.
Chuck: Great. I'm on a mission with Cobra. Maybe I am going crazy.

Devon: Okay. Okay, Casey has some serious guns. Is that creepy, yes? Is that illegal... sadly, no.

Chuck: I was right. I was right. Well, I was, I--I was wrong, clearly I was wrong, but I was right! This is great news! This is great news! That means I'm not crazy!
Dr. Martin Kowambe: Yes. It also means, as soon as you tell me where you got your information--and rest assured, you will tell me--you are going to die.
Chuck: No, that's not great news at all. That's a giant needle--bad, bad. Colored liquid even worse.