Jeff: Morgan Grimes is so tired of listening to Big Mike punch his momma's time clock, that he actually showed up for work on time today.
Lester: Okay, okay, well Morgan Grimes is so disturbed by what Big Mike is doing to his momma, that the thought of Jeff doing the same thing to Anna is actually sweet, sweet relief.
Jeff: Oh snap.
Morgan: That's good. Laugh it up, fuzzballs.

Cole: (to Sarah) After that it was eight, maybe nine guys until the door.
Chuck: (to Casey) Oh, come on! We're supposed to believe that he took out nine guys and escaped a Fulcrum holding facility all by himself? Please, I don't think we can trust this guy.
Casey: I've done nine before.
Chuck: You've taken out nine guys?
Casey: Just saying it's doable.

(Anna thinks she's moving in with Morgan)
Lester: Oh buddy, you are screwed.
Morgan: No, actually I think if I tell her the truth at this point that it'll end the sexual component of our relationship.
Jeff: And I'll be there to pick up the pieces

Lester: You've come to the right place. Repulsion is our business.
Jeff: And business is good.

Casey: We're dead. Bartowski's got a gun.

Morgan: What are you reading there, sweetie?
Anna: Did you know IKEA sell 17 kinds of home shelving? I can only pronounce two of them, though.

Beckman: Mr. Barker, I understand you were hurt protecting Agent Walker. I'm told you showed great courage.
Agent Cole Barker: Just doing my job, General. Actually, it was Chuck who showed great courage on this mission. He was also injured in the line of duty.
Casey: He got clipped by a window sill. It's as pathetic as it sounds.

Lester: My God, could (Anna) really be...unrepulsable?
Morgan: I'm beginning to think so.
Jeff: No, sir. Not on my watch.
Morgan: What are you suggesting?
Jeff: You're going to need a quart of peanut oil, some bubble-wrap and as much yarn as you can find.

Casey: Let me ask you something. When you escaped from FULCRUM, you really take out nine guys?
Agent Cole Barker: The truth?
Casey: Professional courtesy.
Agent Cole Barker: It was more like 12. I just don't like to boast.

Agent Cole Barker: Well, who'd have thought it. Cole Barker loses the girl to Chuck Bartowski.
Sarah: When you meet somebody you care about, it's just hard to walk away.
Agent Cole Barker: I couldn't have said it better myself.

Chuck: Oh, and, just so you know, I am going to get this thing out of my head one day. I will. And when I do, I'm going to live the life that I want with the girl that I love. Because I'm not going to let this thing rob me of that. I won't.