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Clerks: A Dissertation On The American Justice System By People Who Have Never Been Inside A Courtroom, Let Alone Know Anything About the Law, But Have Seen Way Too Many Legal Thrillers.
Randal and Dante bet that they couldn't do each other's job for a day at RST Video and Quick Stop, respectively. Randall doesn't make it two minutes. Jay sues Dante and Quick Stop for $10 million after slipping and falling on the floor.
Wednesday May 31st, 2000
This was actually produced as the fourth episode, but was aired as the premiere on ABC. Some have claimed that ABC running "Episode Four" as the first episode was a Star Wars reference, though that might be giving network executives too much credit.
The entire title of this episode is: A Dissertation On The American Justice System By People Who Have Never Been Inside A Courtroom, Let Alone Know Anything About the Law, But Have Seen Way Too Many Legal Thrillers.
Dante Hicks: What are you doing? You're gonna get us both sent to jail!
Randal Graves: In Virginia, anyone who passes the bar can be a lawyer.
Dante Hicks: You haven't passed the bar! And this isn't Virginia!
Narrator: This is the defendant, Dante Hicks. His friend Randal says that he suffers from chronic nocturnal emissions during which he cries out the name of the heavyset woman with the receding hairline they always see at the Laundromat.
Randal Graves: Hey wait. Are you the biggest idiot ever?
Dante Hicks: No, you are.
Randal Graves: Okay, then, this isn't a dream.
After Randal throws his soda can into the garbage bag, another soda can mysteriously appears in his hand.
In the last bit of the show, Judge Reinhold's shirt keeps changing between his suit and a robe.
Voice: Tom Cruise! Oh no! You want the truth, you can't handle the truth! Show me the money!
This makes up two references to Tom Cruise movies:
"You can't handle the truth" is a reference to the movie A Few Good Men (1992).
"Show me the money" is a reference to Jerry McGuire (1996).