Shirley: I don't see why you and Britta aren't together. Two cute white people going to school together just seems right.
Jeff: Shirley, we're not pandas in a zoo.

Professor Duncan: I never should have let you into this lab, Miss Annie Fanny, panties in a bunch.

Pierce: I heard you with my own ear ... noculars.

Jeff: Look, we can still hang out. It's just... we won't bag on people.
Shirley: Come on, Jeff, what are we going to talk about? My kids? Your doctor career?
Jeff: I was a lawyer.
Shirley: See, I'm already bored.

Troy: Do they do stuff to your butt?
Annie: No.
Troy: Do you get paid more if they do stuff to your butt?
Annie: No.
Troy: It's fine. I'll do it. I'm in.

Annie: I'm not looking down on this school at all, but I'm only here because of a brief addiction to pills that I was told will help me focus, but they actually made me lose my scholarship and virginity.

Abed: I figured we are more like Chandler and Phoebe. They never really had stories together.

Chandler and Phoebe are characters from the NBC sitcom Friends.

Pierce: Oh my God, my life is Degrassi High!

Degrassi High is a teenaged drama about the life of students at Degrassi High School.

Abed: "Oh, wow, I love reading and being a desperate housewife."

While narrating the conversation the redhead in the library is having on the other side of the glass, Abed makes a reference to Desperate Housewives character Bree Hodge who is also a redhead.

Troy: "I'm Doctor Doogie Seacrest."

While making fun of Jeff, Troy references Doogie Howser, the main character from Doogie Howser, M.D., and Ryan Seacrest, the host of American Idol.