Conan O'Brien: But the weird thing is this: I put myself and my staff through a lot because I refused to go on at midnight. So I get this job at 11. Then, yesterday, daylight savings time ended — so right now it's basically midnight. In fact, it's 12:05.
Conan O'Brien: People ask me why I named the show “Conan.” I did it so I’d be harder to replace.
Conan O'Brien: I’m glad to be on cable. The truth is, I’ve dreamed of being a talk show host on basic cable ever since I was 46.
Conan O'Brien: It’s not easy doing a late-night show on a channel without a lot of money and that viewers have trouble finding. So that’s why I left NBC.
Conan O'Brien: A lot’s happened in the news since I went off the air --- and I was hoping I could cover it all in one joke. But then I realized that’s like trying to keep an Icelandic volcano from wearing Lady Gaga’s meat dress while a trapped Chilean miner cleans up the BP oil spill. Comma, Brett Favre’s penis.
Conan O'Brien: Yeah, I know what you guys are thinking: "Hey, that's the guy from Twitter!" That's what you're thinking right now.
Andy Richter: Wait, you mean you're Kanye West?!
The episode's title, Baa Baa Blackmail, is a reference to the English nursery rhyme Baa Baa Black Sheep.