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Steve is attempting to dump his girlfriend, Jane, but Jane is quite bizarrely refusing to accept Steve's split with her. Meanwhile, Patrick is trying to dump Susan, but Susan is confused as she didn't really think they were actually going out. While attempting to break up with Jane, Steve asks Susan out and she accepts. How will their first date go?
Susan: I want you to remember, I intend this breast satirically.
Susan: Sally, does it ever occur to you that age brings wisdom and greater confidence?
Sally: Susan, age brings you more to shave.
Sally: Mary Kelly thinks you're a complete idiot.
Patrick: Then why does she keep looking at my arse when we're talking?
Sally: She's lip-reading.
Jeff: Yeah, but, Steve, you're entitled to her stockings... you're still in the zone… the boyfriend zone. This is the tailing-off period. You've still got a load of stuff in her flat. You might still have a wedding to go to together. You're under joint headings in your friend's address books.
Sally: Since thirty I’ve had to put a daily limit on facial expressions. I only smile at single men so I can justify the loss of elasticity.
Patrick: We need to talk.
Patrick: About our relationship. I’m just starting to think its all getting a bit hot and heavy and we both need to back off and cool down. You know we should think about where this is going and whether we’re starting to commit more than we intend to or want to.
Susan: What relationship?
Jeff: Do you know the biggest turn off on a first date?
Jeff: In the event of Steve’s death the first thing I would do, upset though I will be, is go straight to his house and remove all the pornography before his parents can find it.
Jeff: I was only faking so I wouldn’t have to have sex with you. That wasn’t a great defence was it? Look, sex can be very stressful for men - you judge us on technique, sensitivity, stamina - we’re just happy if you're naked, half-naked, one breast...
Steve: It's not as bad as it sounds. I was in the toilet cubical with Jane. When I nipped out to get a condom, I asked out Susan.
Jeff: The zone has a new king. (bows down) But you will rule alone.
Susan: OK, so let me guess - you asked him out the moment I dumped him. Sally, you don’t even like him.
Sally: I panicked! My neck looked old this morning.