Esteemsters - Recap

The episode opens in the car as Jake is driving Quinn and Daria to their first day at Lawndale High. Jake tries to give advice to Daria and Quinn about making new friends and how he knows it isn't easy for Daria to fit in right away. While Jake is talking, Quinn turns up the radio, and Jake quickly turns it back down, only for Daria to reach over and turn it back up. As the arrive at the school, Jake continues to shell out advice, telling the girls not to be upset if the other kids don't accept them right away. While Jake keeps on talking, Quinn gets out of the car and walks over to a group of popular kids and is immediately accepted into the group and asked out by a boy. Daria gets out of the car next to the crowd, which completely ignores her existence.

Cut to the hallway of the school. Ms. Li is giving the new students a tour of the school, then tells the group about a psychological test that all new students are required to take. At the testing room, Mrs. Mason, Daria and Quinn are all seated at a round table. Mrs. Mason holds up a photo and asks Quinn what she sees. "It's a picture of two people talking", Quinn replies. Mrs. Mason asks her to expand on that and make up a story to go along with the photo. Quinn starts to make up a story about the characters and their dating ups and downs until Mrs. Mason cuts her off, asking Daria to make up a story as vivid as her sister's. Instead of a story, Daria tells the teacher that she sees "a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains". Mrs. Mason asks her to expand, and Daria sarcastically replies with "It's a guy and a girl and they're discussing... a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains".

Cut to Mr. DeMartino's class. The teacher introduces Daria to the class, and asks her a question about Manifest Destiny. Daria answers the question, leaving Mr. DeMartino very pleased. He then calls on Kevin to answer a question about war Manifest Destiny was used to justify, and Kevin answers that it was the Vietnam War. Disgusted that Kevin couldn't even get the century right, he asks him the question again and this time Kevin guesses Operation Watergate. DeMartino then asks Brittany for an answer, and after some prompting, she finally responds with "the Viet Cong war". Even more disgusted with Brittany's response, Mr. DeMartino asks for a volunteer to answer the question. Daria raises her hand; Mr. DeMartino yells at Daria to "stop showing off!".

Cut to the Morgendorffer's house; the family is eating dinner. Quinn is telling her parents about her day and becoming vice president of the Fashion Club. Helen and Jake then ask Daria about her day and Daria tells her about Mr. DeMartino. While Jake, Helen, and Daria argue about her fitting in and how Daria is too critical, the phone rings. Helen takes the call and is informed that Daria has been "diagnosed" with low self-esteem and is required to take a class to improve it. Helen yells at Daria about the call, but Daria tells her parents not to worry, she doesn't have low self-esteem -- only low esteem for everyone else.

At the self esteem class, Mr. O'Neill is at his desk talking to the small class about realizing their actuality. Daria raises her hand to ask what "realizing your actuality" and Mr. O'Neill tries to avoid the question by telling Daria that there will be a video in a little while. While Mr. O'Neill continues to talk, Jane leans over to Daria to tell her that he doesn't know what it means. Daria asks her how she's supposed to pass if she doesn't even know what it means, and Jane replies that she'll fill her in; she's taken the class six times.

On the walk home, Jane explains the class to Daria and Daria asks her why she stays in the class even though she has the material memorized. Jane tells her that she likes having low self-esteem.

At home, Daria is surprised that her mother is home. Helen tells her that maybe a lack of mother-daughter bonding is to blame for her low self-esteem and tells her that she's going to take her to do something that she wants to do. At Cashman's department store Daria sits as Helen tries on business suits.

Cut to Lawndale High. Daria and Jane walk by Quinn who is talking to a boy about the types of boys that she likes to date. Daria tells Jane that that's her sister, then gets a sad look on her face when she overhears Quinn tell the boy that she's an only child.

At the self-esteem class, Mr. O'Neill asks Daria "What's a daydream that you'd like to see come true". Daria responds that she'd like her family to do something together -- something that would really make them suffer.

Cut to the Morgendorffers. Jake asks Daria about her self-esteem class. She tells her parents that the teacher "says I should think back to circumstances that brought me happiness as a child and replicate them" then suggests that they "go to Pizza Forest for dinner like we did when we were kids". At Pizza Forest, the family sits as animal singers dance around their table while Daria sits smugly.

At Jane's, Daria and Jane sit and watch 'Sick, Sad World' together where a U.F.O. convention is being talked about. After the U.F.O. segment ends, Daria asks Jane if she still has the answers to the test, then together they decide to test out of the class and spend their afternoons at U.F.O. conventions instead.

In the self-esteem class, Daria and Jane stay behind as the class ends. Jane tells Mr. O'Neill that they're ready to test out of the class and asks them simple questions, all of which are correctly answered by the girls. Impressed, Mr. O'Neill tells the girls that the entire school should hear about their success in the class at the next assembly.

At the assembly, Mr. O'Neill takes the podium and tells the school about Daria and Jane's success in the class. Jane reluctantly comes up to the podium to say a few words, then decides to turn on the histrionics and ends with "I, uh, I want to go home" as she runs off the stage. Daria then takes the podium, and Quinn squirms in her seat in the audience. She talks about how improving her self-esteem "takes support... from teachers, from friends, and most of all, from family." She then names Quinn as one of the most supportive of her family members, and Quinn tries to hide the fact that Daria is her sister.

At home, Quinn complains to her parents about how Daria embarrassed her in front of the entire school. Helen defends Daria and tells her that "graduating from self-esteem school three weeks early is quite an achievement". Daria then suggests that they do something to celebrate.

Cut to a U.F.O. convention. The entire family looks uneasy while Daria is beaming with the thought of torturing her family.

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