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I Just Wasn't Made for These Times - Recap

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Tommy and an ill-tempered Nolan are driving through the Badlands and finally pull over to the site where the ark fragment crashed to earth. As they investigate, Tommy wonders if God was guiding Sukar to save Defiance, but Nolan doesn't believe it. Nolan comments on how Tommy has been spending a lot of time with Irisa, but Tommy doesn't want to discuss it. They go inside and find a lot of Earth tech, including a space capsule. Nolan finds a NASA jumpsuit with a nametag, Gordon McClintock, while Tommy calls him over to a malfunctioning hypersleep chamber. They discover that there are humans inside of the chambers. One of them activates and the two men have no choice but to cut him free. The man looks up and asks if they're Americans. Nolan checks his dogtags and welcomes Gordon home as he passes out.

Back in Defiance, Nolan and Tommy drive Gordon to the Lawkeeper station. He takes in all of the aliens and asks where he is, and Nolan explains that he's in St. Louis, MO. As Irisa comes out to greet them, startling Gordon, Nolan tells the astronaut that he knows he was the commander of the spaceship Bravery Nine. The last thing Gordon remembers was preparing to shuttle down in 2013. Nolan takes him to Dr. Yewll and promises to explain everything.



Amanda enters her office and finds Connor waiting for her. She demands to know why he's there and Connor explains that Eddie escaped and he's there for follow-up. Amanda doesn't believe him but admits that she's not sure why he's there... yet. In response, Connor invites her to dinner. They go to a street booth and Connor talks about how they thought they could change things when they joined the Earth Republic. Amanda points out that she brought Humans and Votan together, and Connor offers her a job in the Central Office in New York with him. He figures that E-Rep needs new blood and suggests she could do more from there for Defiance and other towns like it. Amanda figures that there's more and Connor says that he misses her. Irisa comes over and tells Amanda that Nolan needs him, and Connor asks to come along. She refuses and goes with Irisa.

Yewll checks Gordon out while Nolan tells Amanda about him. She points out that they all saw the ship blow up in 2013 and Nolan suggests that the Votans staged the accident to cover their tracks. He checks Gordon's belongings and finds a photo of the man's wife, Grace. Amanda introduces herself and Yewll hesitantly says that Gordon is fine. She checks his eyes and the flash triggers Gordon's memories of being scanned with similar devices. He shoves Yewll away and yells at her to stay back.



That night, Datak visits Need Want and goes to Kenya's bedchambers. Tirra is there and asks if he's ready to have fun, and Datak shoves her away and demands Kenya. When she comes in, she informs Datak that she's had to cut back on her client list. Kenya assures him that Tirra is very skilled but Datak doesn't believe it. He crushes her hands and Kenya tells him to let her go. The Castithan releases her after a moment, spits on his hands, tells Kenya that he's no longer in the mood, and leaves.

Gordon leaves the hospital and discovers a crowd of human there to cheer him and get autographs and interviews. Connor warns Amanda that Gordon is a valuable weapon against the Votan Collective, who are preparing an alliance. E-Rep would like to publicize the news that the Votans abducted Gordon, but Amanda and Nolan tell him to back off. The Lawkeeper then takes Nolan to Rafe's home. Gordon thanks the miner and hugs him. As they settle in for supper, Rafe is awestruck that Gordon is in his house. They tell Gordon that they made a movie about the Bravery Nine. Gordon describes a rescue where he was stranded in space until he got his thrusters working, and discovers that Robert Pattinson played him in the movie.

As they settle in for the night, Gordon reads his biography and asks if he can go back to his hometown in Alabama. Rafe offers to use his resources to find Grace for him. They explain why people travel by ground because of the radiation and debris in the air. Rafe shows Gordon some of his photographs of the mines and caverns beneath Defiance and offers to take him there. The miner invites Gordon to stay in Luke's room, assuring him it's the best room in the house.



Stahma is relaxing in the bath at home when Datak comes in. He demands to know why she's bathing alone and she points out that she thought he was out for the evening at Need Want. Datak complains about Kenya refusing him as a client and going out of his way to disrespect him. When he considers sending his bodyguard there to question her at length, Stahma invites him to join her in the bath and kisses him.

As Gordon sleeps, he hears voices in his head. He wakes up, goes to where Amanda is sleeping on the couch, and starts strangling her. As he prepares to smash her head in with a knickknack, Rafe comes in and stops him. They call in Yewll to check on Amanda, and Gordon apologizes. Nolan orders his people to lock Gordon up at the Lawkeeper station to be on the safe side. As they take him in, Connor shows up and Tommy tells him what happened. Connor runs in to the hospital where Yewll is performing tests on Amanda, and Nolan orders him to stay back until they confirm that she's okay. They go outside and Nolan explains what happened. Connor questions his capabilities and Nolan points out that he seems concerned about Amanda given that he engineered the Volge attack. The E-Rep agent denies it but Nolan doesn't believe him.

As Gordon sits in his cell, remembering his wife, Irisa stands guard. Nolan comes in and she tells him that Gordon is in pain because he doesn't belong here. Irisa says that she can relate and isn't interested in hearing Nolan apologize. He asks her if she really feels that she doesn't belong, and Irisa explains that Sukar was the first person who made her feel like she had a home. As they talk, Gordon starts mumbling in an alien tongue and throws himself at the walls of his cell. He finally knocks himself down and Nolan and Irisa go in and discover that he's bleeding silver... like an Indogene. Nolan goes to the hospital and confronts Yewll with what they've discovered. He grabs her and demands answers, pointing out that she lied to them earlier.



The next morning, they bring Gordon in and Yewll admits that the Indogene carried out reconnaissance on Earth subjects. They genetically altered Indogene infiltrators to pass as human, and chose Gordon since he would have access to the highest levels of Earth government. The Indogene never got them to work right, thus the silver blood. Gordon insists that he remembers everything in his life but Yewll points out that he doesn't have any sensory memories because they're the hardest to imprint. The doctor admits that extracting memories from the original subject destroys the brain. She lied because Earth Republic would use the information against the Votan Collective. Connor insists that he will take him back. Gordon goes berserk, knocks them all down, and grabs a gun. Tommy prepares to shoot him but Nolan tells the deputy to let him go.

Stahma goes to see Kenya and asks her why she refused Datak. Kenya says that she did it for Stahma since she knows that it hurts her to see her husband with other woman. Stahma says that she's sweet... and stupid, and warns Kenya that a cuckolded Castithan is a dangerous man. She insists that she's happy in her marriage and pays Kenya for their time together, and tells her to control her hatred if they're going to continue seeing each other.

At the McCawley home, Rafe receives a call about a breach in the caverns. Rafe tells the miners to seal off the area while he goes to check it out.

Gordon enters the caverns and goes to an underground lake from Rafe's photos. Rafe finds him and Gordon aims his gun at him, but hesitates to shoot him. Rafe sits down and explains how he found him, and they admire the view together. The miner asks Gordon what he plans to do next, and Gordon says that he's considering throwing himself over the edge. The Indogene assassin insists that he's a weapon that will never change, but Rafe tells him that Indogenes never change. He points out that Gordon rages against what has happened to him, and Gordon says that the losses are too much. Rafe says that he's lost a wife and a son, and points out that Gordon is wearing Luke's clothing. When Gordon wonders why he hasn't killed himself, Rafe says that he loves life and isn't a coward, and will fight until a higher power takes it all away from him. The miner points out that if he had a second chance then he'd take it. Gordon asks if Grace would still want him the way he is, and Rafe says that if she loved Gordon then she'd take him any way she could. The assassin wonders what he should do if he's not as strong as Rafe is, and Rafe tells him to jump.



Gordon stands up, thanks Rafe for trying, and then hands the gun to him and asks him to give it to Nolan. Rafe takes it and says that he will.

Later, Amanda is in her office when Connor comes in. He's heard that Gordon killed himself, and Amanda admits that he didn't fit in anywhere as a Votan or a Human. When she talks about how she can still imagine Gordon finding his wife, Connor calls her a romantic. Amanda tells him that she's turning down his offer, and Connor tells her that Earth Republic wants Defiance because of the gulanite deposits. Olfin Tennety is leading the attempt and plans to undermine Amanda so that her replacement will welcome Earth Republic in. Connor warns her that they'll do whatever it takes to remove her, and assures Amanda that he can protect her in New York. Amanda insists that she doesn't need his protection and tells Connor that she didn't ask him to come back into her life. Connor insists that if she had talked to him first, they'd be a family now. Amanda has nothing to say in response and Connor says that she would have been a good fit and walks out.



Rafe summons Nolan to his house and gives him his gun back. The miner says that Gordon was a decent kid, and Nolan suggests they send someone to get the body and give it a decent burial. Rafe says that the body got tangled and never came up, and Nolan points out that he's the only one who can confirm that Gordon killed himself. The miner nonchalantly says that's true, and Nolan offers a toast to Gordon… wherever he may be.

Gordon walks off across the badlands and makes his way to Alabama. He finds a woman working at a farm and she turns to see who is there. Staring in shock, Grace goes to Gordon and hugs him.

At the hospital, Nolan comes to see Yewll and demands to know what she was doing during the Pale Wars. She insists that she was at war but Nolan figures that she was involved with the program and demands to know what other infiltrators are out there. A woman staggers in, suffering from a viral hemorrhagic fever, and Yewll tells Nolan that they've got a plague.



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Warning: Defiance season 1 episode 8 guide may contain spoilers
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