Jon: So Susan and David aren't crazy about doing the show. Susan thinks we're putting ourselves in danger, she's got David in a panic that he's gonna be killed. What's the worst that's gonna happen? I become super famous and we get divorced because of how laid I'm getting?
Jon: Why else would I put my family on camera and risk them being murdered if I wasn't in a sweet loft? That's what makes it worth it!
Jon: I'm not really suppose to talk about what I did for a living previously, but lets just say it rhymes with architect.
Jon: (while crying) Paul Rudd is dead! He was in Anchorman and the Forty-Year Old Virgin! He was in The Shape of Things! He was in Clueless and Romeo + Juliet! He did a thing in Reno 911!: Miami! The Cider House Rules! P.S.! The Oh in Ohio! Knocked Up! He had a series of Broadway credits..
Jon: I don't know Mike. I feel like my life is falling apart. My wife left me, she took my son. Working at a coffee shop. Paul Rudd was killed right before my eyes. And now I gotta try to sleep alone in a strange apartment that's not even a sweet loft.