You Must Meet My Wife - Recap

Bree’s new contractor, Keith Watson, is helping Juanita with her bike.
Bree watches out the window, remembering what it was like to be a girl,
learning about sexual urges (which are bad, and dangerous). Keith pulls
her aside as she is on her way to the bank. He wants to panel the study
with historical birch, over 200 years old. They call it witness wood,
because it’s seen so much history. She jerks her hand back and leaves.
As she begins backing out the driveway, focused on Keith’s butt, she
hits Juanita.

Juanita goes to Fairview Hospital. She was talking in the ambulance,
which is a good sign. Paul shows up, and they try to get him to leave
but he says they should pray together for Juanita. Paul’s the only one
with his eyes closed, and Lynnette is trying to have Bree read her lips.
After the prayer, Gabby arrives. She thanks everybody for coming, and
takes Bree aside so she can ream her a new one. She says Bree and her
son seem determined to kill every Juanita Solis on the planet. Bree says
Juanita came out of nowhere and Gabby retorts “Have you SEEN my
daughter?! She never comes out of nowhere!” Andrew thanks her for not
telling Carlos about him hitting his mom, and Gabby says she’ll give him
that one because she never liked her anyway but as for the rest of her
family? Learn to swerve!

Andrew asks Bree why this keeps happening, and she says maybe God is
punishing them. Andrew counters that maybe God is punishing the Solis
family, and they’re just doing His work. Bree claims she was fiddling
with the radio, but Andrew saw her; she was checking out Keith’s ass.
She tells him to watch his mouth, she was messing with the radio. He
said well as long as we are talking about the radio, I hope you realize
that that particular model is 15 years too young for you.

Susan is cleaning in her lingerie, trying to keep everything covered.
Maxine arrives at the door, and tells her to stop being such a prude,
and gives Susan a few pointers on how to clean in a sensual matter. She
tells Susan she has all the power here, so loosen up, and she does.

Renee is on the phone with her soon-to-be-ex. She tells him if he
doesn’t loosen the purse strings, she’s going to take him for half of
everything he has. That includes the new girlfriend’s implants. He paid
for them from the joint account, so one of those puppies is hers. Tom
comes home, not feeling well. It’s the third time this week, so Lynette
tries to send him to the doctor. He won't go, so she asks if he'll go to
the store. She tells him she either needs him to help himself or help
her. She has five children and a useless house guest. He agrees to go to
the store for her tomorrow. Renee tells Lynette to be careful, because
she and Tom as a couple are beginning to sound like Renee and Doug.

Bob approaches Lee, Bree and Karen, asking after Juanita. While Bob &
Lee snipe at each other, Karen tells them to kiss each others bottoms
and make up. They see a woman approaching them carrying a suitcase, a
fish tank, and missing a heel from her shoe. They wonder if they should
go help her when she slips, drops her suitcase and sloshes all the water
out of her fishbowl. She curses, and they then rush to help her. She's
having a horrible day, and got dropped off a ways away because she only
had a $20, and that just got her so far. She needed to be on Wisteria
Lane, and she was there for Paul. Paul introduces her as Beth, his wife.

Bree gets back home, and Keith is working shirtless. He thought she'd be
gone a long time. As he is putting his shirt back on, he asks after
Juanita. Bree tells him she is going to be fine. He realizes his shirt
is on backwards, and takes it off again. Bree drops the milk. He asks
her is she is really okay, and she says yes, it's just been a stressful
day. Keith says he thinks he knows what she needs, and he gives her a
hug, and reassures her. She tells him she has to let him go, because he
is too messy. She tells him his cologne is overpowering, and he informs
her he doesn't wear cologne. Bree tells him she'll pay him now, and as
Keith leaves, he tells her to send him a check.

Susan gets everybody out of the house and throws herself into her work.
Mike returns unexpectedly because he forgot his thermos, and catches her
in the middle of her act. She said the air was off and it got really hot
so she's cleaning in her lingerie. Mike agreed on the hot and starts
getting physical with her, while they were still on camera. She manages
to shut the laptop with her left foot.

Lynette and Renee are discussing her housing future. She says she may
just live in Fairview, because of the cost of living. Tom comes home
sick again, and tells Lynette he has post-partum depression. Lynette
doesn't buy it, and she's pretty upset with him for bringing home this
diagnosis. Renee overhears.

Paul and Beth are eating, and she says she loves the house. They didn't
really know each other, and she is turning out to be an emotionally
conflicted, distant woman. She doesn't want to rush into being intimate
with him, and she obviously has issues with her mother.

Juanita's nurse tells Gabby that it's impossible for Juanita to be hers,
she must be adopted. Gabby and Carlos are type O and Juanita is type A.
When she realizes she shouldn't be having this conversation, the nurse
stops talking. Gabby engages her again, and the nurse responds that
there's no way Carlos is the father, and that makes it 'none of her
business'.

Renee was up very late talking to Tom. Lynette asks if Tom was
complaining, and Renee says she doesn't want to get in the middle. But
as Lynette rightfully points out "You had a pajama party with my husband
at 3:00 in the morning. You're already 'in the middle.'" She said that
Tom says Lynette hears but she doesn't listen. Lynette says no more
middle-of-the-night convos with Tom for Renee.

Gabby confronts Susan about their ski weekend eight years ago. Susan
remembers that Gabby came in when the sun was coming up. When Carlos
comes home, Gabby is plotting how to get out of the situation she finds
herself in. She pretends she sleep makes love. Sexsomnia. Like
sleepwalking, only sex. She says it only happens when she works out too
much, or when she's going skiing. She tells him it's dangerous; she
could have sex with a total stranger and not even know it.

Karen confronts Bree about firing Keith. She said she was hoping she'd
stop having sexual urges by her age. Karen tells her if not taking risks
turns into regret, it's too late.

Lynette comes home bogged down with baby, gear and groceries. Her oldest
tells her that Renee and Doug are having dinner at the french
restaurant. Renee's hand is over Tom's. Tom tells her she's critical,
and she invalidates his feelings whenever he says something she doesn't
like. Lynette takes Renee aside and calls her on her meddling. Renee
says fine, she's a terrible person, but Tom's still in pain and that's
not her fault.

Mike brings flowers home. He stopped to get an extension on the car
loan, and it was already paid. Susan tells him she had a good week with
her jewelry. He tells her he's so lucky to have a wife like her.

Susan's boss tells her she's getting really good at this, she didn't
think that was going to happen. Susan replies that she's getting really
good at lying to her husband; she didn't think that was going to happen,
either.

Bree shows up as Keith is playing pool, his answering service gave her
his whereabouts. He tells her that he told a friend to buy a GTO, but
his friend chose to buy a Maserati. It's always breaking down, in the
shop, and it's a pain in the ass. He tells Bree he thinks she's a bit of
a Maserati. She says no, she's a family sedan with a beige interior
that's going through a divorce. He says he's sorry, but he's still going
to pass. She grabs the cue ball so he can't shoot, and tells him she
needs him. To work on the house, not her life. She thanks him for
listening, and leaves. As she is pulling out, she hits him. As Keith is
lying on the ground, he tells Bree she has great legs and asks her if
she's ever considered jogging from place-to-place. He thought about what
she said, and it would be a shame if they didn't finish what they
started. He states that he loves a challenge, and asks for her insurance
information.

Lynette apologizes to Tom for being dismissive before. She gets that
it's real, and she understands. She says they can either have a long
conversation about his feelings, or option two involves nudity. He likes
option two, but thinks tonight he just wants to talk.

Paul buys Beth lingerie. She says it's not her style, and she refuses to
try it on. He throws the letters she sent him in prison in front of her
and tells her to read them aloud. She says they were a fantasy, not
real. She thought he'd stay in prison. She tries to take it back, and
apologizes. He says he will try to help her, if in return she can offer
him a little affection. She says she will try. He tells Beth he is
patient, but he won't wait forever.

Lynette brings Renee coffee, and tells her she cleaned the pot. She
thanks Renee for getting them back on track. Renee rented Edie's old
house. Tom asks her if it really is a good idea for her to move here.
Tom closes the door and alludes to what happened between them. Renee
says it doesn't matter, as it was a million years ago.

Carlos finds out about Gabby tearing off the sheet of paper in Juanita's
chart. She confesses that she must have slept with someone else eight
years ago. He takes her aside and tells her the truth. She doesn't take
it well. Gabby is heartbroken, sitting by Juanita's bed and wondering
where her child is, and knowing she loves this one more than life itself.

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