A neighbor named Emma Graham wants to be noticed, so she has her husband
pay for her band and she starts performing. She's really good, right up
until Renee and Gabby start a brawl that stops the music. Gabby's nose
appears to be broken.
In Susan's rush to get back to Wisteria Lane, she starts entertaining
one-on-one clients. Her first has nothing but nudity on the mind, and
that's not what Susan was thinking she signed up for. When he goes one
step too far, she pulls the plug. Maxine is furious. She tells the next
caller that "Tanja" (Susan's i.d.) isn't available. She doesn't work for
Keith is trying to treat Bree like a lady, so she tells him to knock it
off. They kiss passionately, and have sex three times in their first
night. The ladies of the Lane are all chatting about it. Renee
approaches, and Gabby has a negative reaction. She tells Lynette that
Renee is a self-absorbed, narcissistic diva, and Lynette says good
point; we already have one of those.
Renee's divorce settlement left her rolling in champagne, caviar and
cash. Everybody is invited over to partake, but Gabby is the only one
that can make it.
Lynette's nanny interviews aren't going well. Eight down, and they are
all either too inexperienced or too expensive. Tom comes up with a
solution: His mother.
Gabby and Renee are having their evening. They talk about being
beautiful, and how they get what they want by using it. Renee got a
bigger divorce settlement by sleeping with her ex's divorce attorney,
and Gabby had a nose job when she was 19.
Tom's mom is on top of the situation, and Lynette is not amused by who
Tom turns into when she's around. She dotes on him, and he eats it up.
Lee bears a message from Paul to Mike. He wants to buy their house. Mike
can't stand Paul and sends a message back: the day the lease is up, he
and Susan are moving home. Lee calls to fill Paul in, and Paul is
disappointed in him for not telling Mike he was willing to pay above
market value. Lee tells him there are other houses, but he says he wants
Mike finds out at the bank that their balance is a lot less than it used
to be. Susan is on the phone, in tears, preparing to sell her
grandmother's silver bracelet. Lynette swings by to drop off the gold
necklace that Susan lent her. She notices that Susan is upset and goes
to get her a tissue. Lynette overhears her discussion with Mike and says
that Susan loaned the money to her after Paige's birth. After Mike
leaves, Susan fills her in, and Lynette comes down on her hard. Susan
tells her to look at this place, and keep in mind that they can't even
afford for MJ to eat hot lunch at school. Lynette apologizes.
Renee's husband shows up bearing flowers and oozing honey. He tells her
his cheating was a stupid mistake, and it's over. He wants another
chance. He says she doesn't belong in Mayberry, she was made for
Manhattan. He pops out a little blue box and says Cartier called; they
miss her, too. He tells her to think about everything they had together.
He wants it back, and asks "don't you?"
Bree and Keith get home from a date, and she's being all philosophical
while he's on a different line of thought entirely. By the time he
approaches her in the shower, she mutters "Please tell me you're here to
stab me." The next day, she can barely walk. Six hours of sex. Bree
tells Lynette and Gabby she feels like the Holland Tunnel. Renee arrives
and breaks the news that her divorce isn't final just yet. She shows
them her new ring. Gabby says that he cheated on her, and Renee makes
excuses for him. She wants to celebrate, and Gabby wants her to be
honest with herself. Bree and Lynette think you don't just throw away
ten years. Renee throws in Gabby's fake nose, and Bree and Lynette tease
her unmercifully, to the point that she leaves. On her way out she
mutters at Renee that she's going to regret this.
Bree realizes that she needs to make as many demands on Keith as he does
on her, so she gives him a list designed to leave him too tired to come
Tom is going on a trip. His mom sends along cookies. He and Lynette
agree that his mom is doing a great job with Paige. The oldest son picks
up his milk glass and taps on it for more, and his grandmother dashes
off without a word to get him a refill. The boys want sodas, and because
the grandmother is busy getting food out of the oven, she tells Penny to
get the sodas. When Penny asks why, her grandmother says "Because we
have to take care of our men." Lynette tells her that we don't baby our
men. Allison goes on about how her husband never wanted for anything and
Lynette reminds her that he cheated on her, then left her. Allison looks
like she's been slapped, and the kids are all stunned. She walks out
without a word, and Lynette feels horrible.
Keith comes upstairs looking dazed and confused. He finished everything
on the list. He's exhausted. She doesn't want him driving home like
that, and tells him to stay the night. He agrees, and she promises him
Belgian waffles in the morning. When they land in the spooning position,
Bree's eyes fly open in alarm. She jumps out of bed and tells him she
can't keep up, and he says no, HE can't keep up. She's 10 times smarter
than he is, so he uses sex to try to keep Bree interested. She tells him
he's fun, and down to earth - everything she's not. He asks if she's
saying she likes him how he is, and she nods. Keith admits he hadn't
thought of that.
Tom gets home and finds a new nanny. Lynette figures he'll be happy,
because she got the nanny with the boobs. Tom sends Lynette upstairs so
they can talk, and when he joins her he tells her that he fired the new
nanny, and angrily tells Lynette she had no right to make his mother
feel unwelcome in his home. She just wants to belong. Lynette tells Tom
that if this were 1955 she would be SO on board with her parenting
techniques. Tom says Lynette makes all the decisions, from going back to
work to getting a nanny. This time he's making the decision: she stays.
Maxine calls Susan at work. The guy who wants the private session is
offering serious money. Susan asks how serious.
It's the evening the show opened with, and Gabby is still fuming about
Renee spilling the beans. Carlos thinks it's funny. Renee and Doug walk
in, all lovey-dovey. Lee and Karen drop by to make a couple of nose
jokes at Gabby's expense. The bartender sends a bottle of champagne to
Doug and Renee, on the house. An inebriated Gabby offers to make the
delivery. When she drops off the bubbly, she tells Doug that Renee slept
with his attorney, and enjoy the show. He asks Renee if it's true, and
when she doesn't answer, he leaves.
Renee and Gabby have a huge confrontation, and that's when the fight
interrupts the music.
Renee takes a call from Doug. He says they both slept with someone,
maybe they should just call it even.
Lynette walks into her kitchen and finds her mother-in-law sitting at
the kitchen table with plates full of freshly-baked cookies. They both
apologize to each other. When Lynette goes to get the baby, Allison asks
Penny what her name is again. After Penny answers, Allison asks her if
she lives here.
Gabby and Renee meet in the middle of the street with apology gifts:
Yellow roses from Renee, and chocolates from Gabby. Renee says she
doesn't know what came over her. Gabby says she still thinks Renee
deserves better. Renee tells her that Doug called and still wants her
back - and she said no. He said they could pretend it never happened,
and that just reminded her of all the times over the years that she had
to pretend something never happened. Gabby asks if Renee is sure this is
what she wants, and she says yes. Renee tells Gabby that out of all the
women, she was the only one that was honest enough to tell her she was
making a mistake, and she'd take that over a sapphire ring any day. They
hug, and Gabby asks "You're keeping the ring, right?" Renee gives a
Susan waits for her private consult. It's Paul. She slams the laptop
shut, and he tells her he's still there. Paul's glad she put her robe
on, as he hates to see her debasing herself. When she asks what he
wants, he says he wants her house. She says Mike filled her in, and it's
not for sale. Paul says lots of things are for sale, including her body
and her honor. The house is no big deal by comparison. She asks if he's
threatening her, and he is. He gives her a couple of days to think about
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