Amy: I wish I could tell you that you'll be loved. That you'll be safe and cared for and protected. But this isn't the time for lies. What you are going to be, Melody, is very, very brave. But not as brave as they'll have to be. Because there's someone coming. I don't know where he is, or what he's doing. Trust me, he's on his way. There's the man who's never going to let us down. And not even an army can get in the way. He's the last of his kind. He looks young, but he's lived for hundreds and hundreds of years. And wherever they take you, Melody, however scared you are, I promise you, you will never be alone. Because this man is your father. He has a name, but the people of our world know him better as the Last Centurion.
Thin One: Hello, I'm the Thin One. This is my husband, he's the Fat One.
Lorna Bucket: Don't you have names?
Fat One: We're the thin fat gay married Anglican marines. Why would we need names as well?
Thin One: But what's he like? The Doctor.
Lorna Bucket: He said, "Run."
Thin One: Just "Run"?
Lorna Bucket: He said it a lot.
Madame Vastra: Send a telegram to Inspector Abberline of the Yard. Jack the Ripper has claimed his last victim.
Jenny: How did you find him?
Madame Vastra: Stringy, but tasty all the same. I shan't be needing dinner.
Arthur: Will I be okay?
Commander Strax: Of course you will, my boy. You'll be up and around in no time. And perhaps one day, you and I shall meet on the field of battle and I will destroy you for the glory of the Sontaran Empire.
Arthur: Thanks, nurse.
Commander Strax: Captain Harcourt, I hope some day to meet you in the glory of battle, when I will crush the life from your worthless human form. Try and get some rest.
River Song: Oh, are you boys dressing up as Romans now? I thought nobody read my memos.
Rory: Doctor Song, it's Rory. Sorry, have we met yet? Time streams, I'm not quite sure where we are.
River Song: Yes, yes, we've met.
Rory: I've come from the Doctor, too.
River Song: Yes, but from a different point in time.
Rory: Unless there's two of them.
River Song: No. That's a whole different birthday.
River Song: Why on earth are you wearing that?
Rory: The Doctor's idea.
River Song: Of course. His rules of engagement: float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
Rory: Look ridiculous.
River Song: Have you considered heels?
Dorium Maldovar: No! No, no, please, not me! You don't need me! Why would you need me? I'm old, I'm fat, I'm blue! You can't need me!
Colonel Manton: He is not the Devil. He is not a god. He is not a goblin or a phantom or a trickster. The Doctor is a living, breathing man, and as I look around this room, I know one thing. We're sure as hell going to fix that.
The Doctor: Ha-ha. Hello, everybody! Guess who! Please, point a gun at me if it helps you relax. (the soldiers and monks prepare their weapons) You're only human.
The Doctor: I'm not a phantom.
Colonel Manton: Doctor.
The Doctor: I'm not a trickster.
Colonel Manton: Doctor.
The Doctor: I'm a monk.
The Doctor: No, Colonel Manton, I want you to tell your men to run away.
Colonel Manton: What?
The Doctor: Those words, "run away." I want you to be famous for those exact words. I want people to call you "Colonel Runaway." I want children laughing outside your door because they found the house of Colonel Runaway. And when people come to you and ask if trying to get to me through the people I love... is in any way a good idea, I want you to tell them your name.
The Doctor: Oh, look, I'm angry. That's new. I'm really not sure what's going to happen now.
Madame Kovarian: The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men have too many rules.
The Doctor: Good men don't need rules. Today's not the day to find out why I have so many.
Amy: Who's that? Who's there? You watch it, because I am armed and really dangerous, and... cross.
Rory: Like I don't know that.
The Doctor: Euu. Kissing and crying. I-I-I'll be back in a bit.
(to baby Melody)
The Doctor: That's okay, she's still all yours. And really, you should call her "Mummy," not "Big Milk Thing."
Amy: Okay, what are you doing?
The Doctor: I speak Baby.
Amy: No, you don't.
The Doctor: I speak everything. Don't I, Melody Pond? (adjusts his bow-tie) No it's not, it's cool.
Amy: She doesn't like the TARDIS noise. I asked him to turn something off, but it was all "But I don't want to punch a hole in the space-time continuum."
(as Melody cries)
Jenny: Is she all right?
Amy: Yes, she's just crying.
Commander Strax: Give her to me, human fools. She needs changing.
Amy: I just changed her. I think she might need a feed.
Commander Strax: A feed? Of course. I'll take care of everything.
Rory: Uhh... I really don't think you will, actually.
Commander Strax: I have gene-spliced myself for all nursing duties. I can produce magnificent quantities of lactic fluid!
Madame Vastra: How did this baby....begin?
The Doctor: Oh, you mean...
Madame Vastra: Quite.
The Doctor: Well, how would I know? That's all human and private stuff. It just sort of goes on. They don't put up a balloon or anything.
Madame Vastra: Could the child have begun on the TARDIS? In flight, in the Vortex?
The Doctor: No, no, impossible! It's all running about; sexy fish vampires, blowing up stuff, and Rory wasn't even there at the beginning.Then he was dead, then he didn't exist, then he was plastic, then I had to reboot the whole universe. Long story. So, technically, the first time they were on the TARDIS together in this version of reality was on their...
Madame Vastra: On their what?
Dorium Maldovar: Hmm?
The Doctor: On their wedding night.
Amy: Rory, no offense to the others, but, uh, you let them all die first, okay?
Rory: You're so Scottish.
The Doctor: The child is not a weapon!
Madame Kovarian: Oh, give us time. She can be. She will be.
The Doctor: Except you've already lost her, and I swear I will never let you anywhere near her again.
Madame Kovarian: Oh, Doctor, fooling you once was a joy. But fooling you twice, the same way, it's a privilege.
River Song: Demon's Run when a good man goes to war.
Night will fall and drown the sun,
When a good man goes to war.
Friendship dies and true love lies,
Night will fall and the dark will rise.
When a good man goes to war.
Demon's Run but count the cost.
The battles won but the child is lost.
Commander Strax: It's strange. I'd often dreamed of dying in combat. I'm not enjoying it as much as I'd hoped.
Rory: Come on, Strax. Don't give up.
Commander Strax: It's all right. I've had a good life. I'm nearly twelve.
Rory: Listen to me. You'll be back on your feet in no time. You're a warrior.
Commander Strax: Rory, I'm a nurse.
The Doctor: You think I wanted this? I didn't do this, this--this wasn't me.
River Song: This was exactly you. All this. All of it. You make them so afraid. When you began, all those years ago, sailing off to see the universe, did you ever think you'd become this? The man who can turn an army around at the mention of his name. "Doctor." the word for healer and wise man throughout the universe. We kept that word for you, you know. But if you carry on the way you are, what might that word come to mean? To the people of the Gamma Forest, the word "Doctor" means "mighty warrior." How far you've come. And now they've taken a child, the child of your best friends, and they're going to turn her into a weapon just to bring you down. And all this, my love, in fear of you.