Drake: Josh, you're pretty cool.
Josh: The cooliest?
Drake: Don't ruin it.

Josh: (To Drake) Did you do something to my brownies?
Drake: Yeah, Josh. I live to sabotage baked goods.

Drake: What happened to you?
Josh: Football happened to me. First I got tackled, then I was trampled, and I'm pretty sure someone bit my ankle!

Josh: Drake?
Drake: What?
Josh: Being in school at night creeps me out.
Drake: Really? I feel that way about school during the day.

Josh: I'm not ready to die. I haven't seen Paris.
Drake: They eat snails, the people smell bad. You don't want to go there.

Drake: What are you doing?
Josh: Making brownies for the football team.
Drake: Oh, that's cool, Josh. (girly voice) Maybe afterwards, you can knit them some pretty sweaters!

Megan: Where is Josh anyway?
Drake: Oh, I don't know, must still be at football tryouts.
Megan: (Laughing) Come on, seriously where is he?

Drake: Are you reading my e-mail?
Megan: No, wait, hold on a sec.
Drake: Megan, reading someone's e-mail is against the law. It's a violation of privacy.
Megan: Calm down. It's Josh's e-mail.
Drake: Oh, cool.

Josh: I hated the fourth grade. It was my awkward stage.
Drake: And. . . this is. . . .?